 | Cultivate
a sense of self-worth. Keep in mind your special talents, the times when
others thought you were special. Nourish a secret "inner core" of
self that cannot be violated. If you feel good about yourself, you'll not be
as vulnerable to manipulation and emotional appeals by others. |
| Know what
your values are; develop and maintain a sense of commitment to principles
that are important to you. Understand why they are important. Have a sense
of purpose in your life. |
| Build
your critical thinking skills. Practice analyzing and discussing arguments;
looking at the pros and cons of important issues. Build creative arguments
and counter-arguments. |
| Read
diverse opinions from different kinds of sources. Don't just read what you
agree with. Be as well-informed about opinions you disagree with as your
own. Analyze the pros and cons of these opinions. Be open to the possibility
of changing your opinions. |
| When
watching TV news or reading a newspaper, remember to ask questions and be
critical of what you see or hear. Be more aware of what the media
selectively reports, distorts, and leaves out. Remember that the media don't
represent "the truth," only certain perspectives. |
| Teach
yourself and your children or students to watch out for persuasive
manipulation and tricks in advertising and news reporting. |
| Join with
others who are willing to stand up for the values that are important to you.
Find allies at work or school. Join an organization that supports your
values. |
| If
there's a social or political issue that's important to you, get active.
Join a group and work for social change. But be careful not to get mired in
dogma. Remember that people with views different than your own are not
stupid or "evil." |
| Before
joining any religious, political, social or self-help group, check them out.
Get outside perspectives and criticisms. Make sure they don't have a
reputation for being dogmatic, authoritarian, secretive, elitist, intolerant
of outside opinions, etc. |
| Develop
and maintain a sense of humor. Be willing to laugh at yourself as well as
others. Humor deflates dogmatism and pomposity. But nourish a sense of humor
that pokes good-natured fun, not one that is mean-spirited or based on
humiliation of others. That kind of humor encourages seeing others as
"bad" instead of merely different. |
| Try to
encourage independent thinking at work, school, or groups you're in.
Encourage and support diverse opinion and dissent. Don't make fun of or
attack people within these groups whose views are different from your own or
who are different from the majority. |
| If you
see something inappropriate, troubling or potentially harmful going on in
your workplace, school, or others social situation, talk about it with
someone outside that situation that you trust. Seek allies within the group. |
| Maintain
outside interests and sources of social support. Reject appeals that claim
that devotion to the cause requires severing relations with others outside
the group. Religious converts, battered wives, and people in institutions
and prisons are often victims of impoverished connections to outside
systems. |
| Watch out
for attitudes you may have that reflect negative attitudes or stereotypes
about others who are different from you in race, ethnicity, religion,
lifestyle, or politics. Learn more about the history, culture, traditions or
values of those different from you in these respects. Attend cultural,
social or other events of these groups. You'll be less vulnerable to attacks
on these group or emotional appeals that see them as "the problem"
or "evil" if you have see them as ordinary people and not just
some faceless monolithic group. |
| If you
have trouble being assertive in the face of authority or are overly timid or
passive, find an assertiveness training group, a counselor with a background
in such training, or at least read a book on assertiveness training. In a
non-threatening situation, practice using the techniques you learn so you
won't feel so awkward or timid when you really need to stand up for
yourself. |
| If you
lack self-confidence or have excessively negative attitudes, fears or
anxieties that make you vulnerable to pressures from authority, seek
professional counseling or at least seek advice from an appropriate book
(books based on cognitive therapy usually offer sensible and effective
techniques that can help you change negative beliefs). |
| Practice
going against social rules or conventions when no harm will occur as a
result of breaking them. For example, dress differently than you normally do
or differently than a social group you participate in, play devil's advocate
in your social. political, or religious group. You may find out that the
consequences of being different are not as catastrophic as you imagine. Even
if you get flack, it's a psychologically stretching exercise. |
