TOP THIRTEEN WAYS TO TELL YOU'RE AT
THE WORLD FAMOUS FREMONT AA HALL
- The wild-eyed bearded person standing on the table is the Secretary.
- The woman next to you yells, "Shut off the fucken motorcycle. We can't hear the sideline bullshit."
- If you are an attorney or have all your own teeth, you are at the wrong meeting.
- When you speak, you might be the only person listening.
- The person who just beat up the member in the backroom is his sponsor.
- The new person who just rushed into the room is a drug dealer trying to avoid the police.
- The brown pile in the middle of the room that looks like dog shit is dog shit.
- Old-timers worry about the ground-level entrance. The steps at the old hall used to weed out those who were so drunk they couldn't walk.
- The toothless woman that J-- is hitting on isn't pretty, but she owns a car and has a job.
- The phrase "shut the fuck up" means "we like you".
- Felons, liars, cheaters, and thieves have a meeting named for them.
- The person who brought the Saint Bernard to the meeting is the same person who voted against having animals in the hall.
- You see you're at a home for many who have nothing but sobriety and a little honesty. It is the life-saving emergency center. Without it many of us would be dead.