.........Your arms are almost too short to read the paper.

..... You quit trying to hold your stomach in , no matter who walks in the room.

...You no longer laugh at Preparation H jokes....

You're asleep, but others worry that you are dead.

.......you start singing along with the elevator music.

....You consider coffee one of the most important things in your life.

......Your car must have 4 doors.

....The phone rings and you hope its not for you.

.......8 a.m. is your idea of sleeping in.

.....Your biggest concern when dancing is falling.

.........People call you at 9 P.M. and ask did I wake you up?

......You read the obits. daily.

......You begin sentences with "When I was your   age..."

Nobody ever tells you to slow down.

.....Comfort takes the place of fashion.

......When you are referring to "good Grass " you are talking about someone's lawn.

....Your perfect idea of a nightcap is Metamusil.

....You start believing that you really did walk 5 miles to school barefoot and in the snow.