Abdicate - v., to give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.

Balderdash - n., a rapidly receding hairline.

Bustard - n., a very rude Metrobus driver.

Carcinoma - n., a valley in California, notable for its heavy smog.

Circumvent - n., the opening in the front of boxer shorts.

Coffee - n., a person who is coughed upon.

Esplanade - v., to attempt an explanation while drunk.

Flabbergasted - adj., appalled over how much weight you have gained.

Flatulence - n., the emergency vehicle that picks you up after you are run over by a steamroller.

Gargoyle - n., an olive-flavored mouthwash.

Lymph - v., to walk with a lisp.

Marionettes - n., residents of Washington, DC who have been jerked around by the former mayor.

Negligent - adj., describes a condition in which you absent-mindedly answer the door in your nightie.

Oyster - n., a person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddish expressions.

Rectitude - n., the formal, dignified demeanor assumed by a proctologist immediately before he examines you.

Semantics - n., pranks conducted by young men studying for the priesthood, including such things as gluing the pages of the priest's prayer book together just before vespers.

Testicle - n., a humorous question on an exam.

Willy-nilly - adj., impotent. _

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