Life usually has far more questions than answers, although there are people who think they have the answers -- not just for themselves, but for pretty much everyone. It's seldom that simple, but I think that in a different way there *can* be a certain simplicity in life if we accept ourselves for who we are and accept others for who they are, but also accept that few things are set in stone.
That's where hope comes in.
What the concept of hope means to me is somewhere between belief and disbelief, but leaning more toward belief. I know this is not the only way to perceive hope, but it's the area that has the most personal meaning to me. To me, hope is open-ended and isn't necessarily about a specific goal, but more a part of the journey to wherever you end up -- the sense that there is purpose in going forth and seeing what's out there, in being brave or foolish enough to take the risks because you believe that the experiences are worth the risks.
I've struggled with hope in many ways in my life, and I think a lot of that has been because I've felt things were about success or failure. But I don't use those extremes much anymore, because there's so much in between, and I think it's just too easy to set yourself up for failure. I'd rather set myself up for possibilities.
I am not an example of someone who has made great strides in personal life. I have taken some steps, but much of what I have embraced is still considerably untested. There's a lot of "unexplored territory" in me, and I am wary of the unknowns. But it hasn't been all that many years that I've even been able to acknowledge that the unknowns existed, or that there was anything in me worth exploring. It was in some ways easier to not look inside, and it's very difficult at times to sort through wishes/longings for things that I either can't have, or that I fear or have doubts about. But I've come to know parts of myself that I can't walk away from now, and if that brings sadness with it as well as self-discovery, so be it.
In the movie "Phenomenon," John Travolta's character talks about himself as an example of what everyone can be, what everyone is capable of deep down. I know it's a piece of fiction, but those words mean something to me, because I think most of us are capable of being more than we feel we are, and particularly of showing more of what we are. Being able to just *be* -- and for that to be a good thing -- is a concept that tastes to me of sweet freedom.
-- a story
Circles of Despair
Strange Travels
Thoughts of Me
Separation
The Struggle
Twisted Dreams
Wanting
Running From The Rainbow
Winter's Wicked Wanton Ways
Sunshine
Worth
Magic Waters
Yourself
Belief
Beloved Lust
Heaven In My Mind's Eye
Fun:
www.funster.com (word games)
Nude photography:
Men and Women Photography by Victor Ivanovski
Evolving Beauty - Photography by Eric Boutilier-Brown
Abuse:
Blain Nelson's Abuse Pages
Mental Health Links:
Mentalhealth.com
The Shrink Tank BBS Web Site
Northwestern University Psych Projects
