Don't pray to a snivelling god
When you think you need a hand.
When you feel an achin' in your bod,
Try the soothing sounds of the Dave Matthews Band.

Don't bother attending church
Or wonder what Jesus would do.
If guidance is for what you search,
You'd be better off consulting the loo.

Don't waste your time
Worrying about heaven and hell.
Enjoy yourself while in your prime
For there is no afterlife in which to dwell.

Do mind your ethics.
Do appreciate all art.
Do enjoy leisurely breakfasts.
Do philosophise with Sartre.

Do sleep in on Sundays.
Do decorate a holiday tree.
Do open your mind to others' ways.
Do teach your mind to be free.

If you cease to believe in a god in the sky
What harm could there possibly be?
You might feel quite alone, but why?
At least no one's watching you pee.

You won't be struck by a lightening bolt
If you become deity free.
In fact you'll feel a mind-numbing jolt
And enter the realm of reality.