['Aalim Network QR] Engagement

[workshop@dircon.co.uk (Ummulbanin)]

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|       In the Name of Allah, the Compassionate, the All-Merciful       |\
|  Greeting of Allah be upon Muhammad and the pure members of his House |\
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Assalamu 'Alaykum
The following question was kindly answered by Dr. Takim.

Ummulbanin Merali

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Question:
I am in a dilemma. A very close sunni brother is getting engaged this summer
and he is very happy. Now, my stance in this matter is different. I believe
that there is no such thing as an "engagement" in Islam. Nikah is the
marriage contract.. and that's what holds strongest for me. 
Knowing this, I feel sad at seeing the brother committing a wrong.. and
inviting further sin over the years till official marriage.On the other
hand, I feel a soft happiness for the brother in knowing that Inshallah he
will be getting married to the person who he speaks highly of, in a few
years time if God so Wills. 
The question lies in how should I be reacting towards this brother's joy? 
Should I congratulate him, knowing that by doing so I am encouraging him to
engage in possible lust (which is haram)? I am not in a situation where I
can avoid greeting him for this stepping stone in his life. Please advise.

Answer:
Salaamun 'Alaykum,

Since this brother is very close to you, maybe after congratulating him you
should tell him of the possible sin which he may be committing if he
performs a haram act. In all sincerity, advise him of the possible choices
he has to avoid the sins (reciting the 'aqd immediately, or mut'a for the
sake of making the relationship halal). If he says that mut'a is not
allowed, you can refer him to a chapter in a recently translated book called
"Questions on Jurisprudence" in which the question of mut'a is discussed
from Sunni sources. Explain to him also that he can have the relationship
with his fiance whilst keeping his conscience clear at the same time.

Iltimase du'a

Liyakatali