THE FOUR BASIC TYPES OF CHAIN LETTERS:

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Chain Letter Type 1:

 
(scroll down)
 
 
Make a wish!!!
Keep Scrolling
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
No, really, go on and make one!!!
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
Oh please, they'll never go out with you!!!
Wish something else!!!
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
Not that, you pervert!!
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
STOP!!!!
 
 
 
 
Wasn't that fun? :)
Hope you made a great wish :)
 
Now, to make you feel guilty, here's what I'll do. First of all, if you
don't send this to 5096 people in the next 5 seconds, you will be raped by a
mad goat and thrown off a high building into a pile of manure.  It's true!
 
Because, THIS letter isn't like those fake ones, THIS one is TRUE!!
Really!!! Here's how it goes:
 
*Send this to 1 person: One person will be pissed off at you for sending
them a stupid chain letter.
 
*Send this to 2-5 people: 2-5 people will be pissed off at you for sending
them a stupid chain letter.
 
*Send this to 5-10 people: 5-10 people will be pissed off at you for sending
them a stupid chain letter, and may form a plot on your life.
 
*Send this to 10-20 people: 10-20 people will be pissed off at you for
sending them a stupid chain letter and will napalm your house.
 
Thanks!!!! Good Luck!!!
 
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Chain Letter Type 2

 
Hello, and thank you for reading this letter.  You see, there is a starving
little boy in Baklaliviatatlaglooshen who has no arms, no legs, no parents,
and no goats. This little boy's life could be saved, because for every time
you pass this on, a dollar will be donated to the Little Starving Legless
Armless Goatless Boy from Baklaliviatatlaglooshen Fund.  Oh, and remember,
we have absolutely no way of counting the emails sent and this is all a
complete load of bullshit. So go on, reach out. Send this to 5 people in the
next 47 seconds. Oh, and a reminder - if you accidentally send this to 4 or
6 people, you will die instantly.  Thanks again!!
 
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Chain Letter Type 3

 
Hi there!! This chain letter has been in existence since 1897. This is
absolutely incredible because there was no email then and probably not as
many sad pricks with nothing better to do.
 
So this is how it works... Pass this on to 15,067 people in the next 7
minutes or something horrible will happen to you like:
 
*Bizarre Horror Story #1
Miranda Pinsley was walking home from school on Saturday. She had recently
received this letter and ignored it. She then tripped in a crack in the
sidewalk, fell into the sewer, was gushed down a drainpipe in a flood of
poopie, and went flying out over a waterfall.
 
Not only did she smell nasty, she died.  This Could Happen To You!!!
 
*Bizarre Horror Story #2
Dexter Bip, a 13 year old boy, got a chain letter in his mail and ignored
it. Later that day, he was hit by a car and so was his boyfriend (hey, some
people swing that way). They both died and went to hell and were cursed to
eat adorable kittens every day for eternity. This Could Happen To You Too!!!
Remember, you could end up just like Pinsley and Bip. Just send this letter
to all of your loser friends, and everything will be okay.
 
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Chain Letter Type 4

 

As if you care, here is a poem that I wrote.  Send it to all your friends.
 
FRIENDS:
 
A friend is someone who is always at your side.
 
A friend is someone who likes you even though you stink of shit, and your
breath smells like you've been eating cat food.
 
A friend is someone who likes you even though you're as ugly as a hat full
of assholes.
 
A friend is someone who cleans up for you after you've soiled yourself.
 
A friend is someone who stays with you all night while you cry about your
sad, sad life.
 
A friend is someone who pretends they like you when they really think you
should be raped by mad goats, then thrown to vicious dogs.
 
A friend is someone who scrubs your toilet, vacuums and then gets the check
and leaves and doesn't speak much English...no, sorry that's the cleaning
lady.
 
A friend is not someone who sends you chain letters because he wants his
wish of being rich to come true.
 
Now pass this on! If you don't, you'll never have sex ever again!
 
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The point being?

 
If you get some chain letter that's threatening to leave you shagless or
luckless for the rest of your life, delete it.  If it's funny, send it on.
 
Don't piss people off by making them feel guilty about a leper in Botswana
with no teeth, who's been tied to a dead elephant for 27 years, whose only
savior is the 5 cents per letter he'll receive if you forward this mail,
otherwise you'll end up like Miranda. Right? Now forward this to everyone
that you know otherwise you'll find all your knickers missing tomorrow
morning.
 

 

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