The European Commision Agreement on the EU Official Language
  Contribuição de Flávio Augusto Picchi

The European Commission have just announced an agreement
whereby English will be the official language of the EU rather
than German, which was the other possibility. As part of the
negotiations, Her Majesty's Government conceded that English
spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a
5 year phase in plan that would be known as 'EuroEnglish'.

In the first year, 's' will replace the soft 'c'. Sertainly,
this will make the sivil
servants jump with joy.

The hard 'c' will be dropped in favour of the 'k'. This should
klear up konfusion
and keyboards kan have 1 less letter.

There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year,
when
the troublesome 'ph' will be replaced with the 'f'. This will
make words
like 'fotograf' 20% shorter.

In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be
expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are
possible. Governments will enkourage the removal of double
letters, which have always
ben a horor to akurate speling.

Also, al wil agre that the mes of the silent 'e'-s in the
language is disgraseful,
and they should go away.

By the 4th yar, peopl will be reseptiv to steps such as
replasing the 'th' with 'z' and 'w' with 'v'. During ze fifz
yar, ze unesesary 'o' kan be dropd from vords kontaining 'ou'
and similar changes vud of kors be aplid to ozer kombinations
of leters.

After zis fifz yar, ve vil hav a sensibl riten styl. Zer vil
be no mor trubls or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu
understand ech ozer.