You Might Be A Red Neck Pagan

Ya might be a red neck pagan if……

…your pentacle was once a dodge hubcap
…you say "Damn straight" instead of "Blessed Be."
… you picked up your athame at a wrecking yard
… your altar is a budweiser sign
… your athame says "BUCK" on it
… you mow lawn and find your broomstick
… your altar candles say "bic" on the side
… you use a spell to make the beer less bitter
… you use beer in a ceremony
… your chalice gets crushed and recycled after the ritual
… you use chains for knot spells!
… your cauldron says "Weber" on the side
… all your tools are either Black and Decker or Craftsman
… your orgy at beltane is a family affair
… your ritual robe says "Motel 6" on the back
… you do rituals on the road in your truck!
… you have to climb under the altar to change the oil
… your familiar is named Bubba.
… Your altar table has pennzoil written on it!
… your mabon feasts include opossum.
… you got your altar from Sears
… your ritual jewelry is made from pop tops
… your altar table is the tailgate
… You think your coven is the Grange!
…You might be a redneck celt if your runes are your mama's teeth
… your name is Silver-bob
… your idea of a power spot has a V-8
… you have a mobile altar for group get togethers
… you have to ask how many laps the Stonehenge has
… your wand is your oil dipstick as well
… You think stonehenge is a barn!
… your cakes and ale is moon pies and RC cola.
… your "aura" is beer breath
… your dress ware for rituals is a racing t-shirt, jeans, boots and a beer.
… your power stone is gravel
… your idea of a salute to the elements of Air & Fire is lighting a fart
… you thought up five more ideas for this list while reading it!

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