"If it's not from you, it means nothing. That's why it's so far away."

The first reaction, as far as I can interpret, seemed to be a concern. I was asked what happened to me. Although this kind of conversation starter usually has a connection with my nickname (as a note, I have started similar conversations only based on nickname), I was a little bit surprised.

The second reaction was more acceptable. It was a question of what those sentences meant, as they sound "romantic". Well, I guess they do sound that way...

The third reaction was, well, accusing =) From the conversation happened, it was almost certain that I was homesick or missing a certain someone. I can guarantee that both of these are not true.

Based the second and third reactions, I cannot help blaming this world to be so greatly influenced by romance and drama. It seems to me that sentences which contain the word "you" accompanied with an abstract illustration will, most of the time, be judged to be "romantic" or "sentimental". Here, I will offer some interpretations which, in my opinion, are not too sentimental.

I (as you may know from here :) ) like drawing. And if you read the introduction on this page, you will also know that I look up to my father's drawing ability. Well, when I still at school, when there were still drawing classes, my classmates told me that I could draw well. These praises, naturally, pleased me. However, I cannot remember finding these satisfying. My dad would say that I drew only cartoony stuff and that I should start studying realism. And when I drew realistic scenes, he would say that I did this and that not the correct way. And that certain aspects could have been better.

I must admit that I took comfort in hearing my friends' "positive" opinion that those drawings were nice. It took me a half year away from home and meeting a friend interested in drawing realism to realize that all those time I was actually not fully satisfied. When I drew the head of a Roman statue replica from the book Jack, the friend I mentioned just now, gave me I could not help thinking what my dad would say about that drawing.

I did not realize it that time, but actually praises from my classmates were not the thing that I looked for. If the praise was not from my dad, it was not satisfying. That was why I was not really happy with my drawing skills.

A note here: I apologize my writing here, which seems to imply that praises and supports from my friends mean nothing to me. I wrote this way only to make sure that readers see that connection between my lengthy story with the title. Friends' support is also important for me to continue drawing.

It turned out that that was the time that I started to understand how to be honest to my own drawing. What I mean by honest here is perhaps closer to being "objective". I think I can now see what is the strong and weak points of my own drawings the way I usually criticize other people's drawing. The reason is perhaps my exposure to various drawing styles.

The point is that now I do not "believe" in other people's comments the way I used to believe in my friends' praises and my dad's criticism. Now, it is almost like I treat inputs from other people as an ad-hoc truth, judge and interpret them (as well as deducing further implications) on my own before taking them as a "valid" input.

Now, if it is not from my honest self, it means nothing. I guess that is why being satisfied with a drawing is so far away...

A closing note is appropriate here:
(1) In case you think the last paragraph above is arrogant... I agree that it does sound arrogant. However, I personally think that it is the way we can be honest to ourselves.
(2) In case you wonder where I got the central two sentences from, it is ToriyamaWorld's translation for the song Haruka Kanata, the second opening song of the anime Naruto. I do not know what the song really wants to say; the above interpretation is my personal interpretation.