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"Back in my day..." |
.......................................................................... *. ******* Alias: Globar Occupation: Security Expert Hobbies: Collecting women's clothing Strengths: Expert in useless trivia Weakness: 12 year old girls Likes: The 1940's Dislikes: Minorities, technology .......................................................................... |
"You FUCKTARD."
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.......................................................................... *. ****** Alias: Panch, Meatwad Occupation: Ninja-Pirate-Pilot-Sniper Hobbies: Extensive Hummel collection Strengths: Destroying lives Weakness: Turd-magnet Likes: Making Jesus cry, Caffeine Dislikes: Dumbasses .......................................................................... |
"My necklace of ears is bigger than
yours."
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.......................................................................... *. **** Alias: Devil's Guard Occupation: Mercenary Hobbies: Killing hobos Strengths: Navy Cross at his court martial. Napping. uh... growing maize? Weakness: He's OOOOOLD! Likes: Bologna, killing hobos, napping Dislikes: Dirty Hippies .......................................................................... |
"Hey Guys!"
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.......................................................................... *. ***** Alias: kilo Occupation: Technical Technician Hobbies: Cruising the ghetto for ho's, Brushing his little doggy Strengths: Computers, manipulating telecommunication systems Weakness: Grendel Likes: Sassy black women Dislikes: Sassy black men posing as women .......................................................................... |
< . . . >
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.......................................................................... *. ******* Alias: Mephistopheles Occupation: Bum Hobbies: Talking to the dead Strengths: Never says anything stupid Weakness: Never says anything smart... (we think he's a mute or something) Likes: Fire, Fire, FIRE Dislikes: Sunlight, Happy people .......................................................................... |
 "Hello Angels." |
.......................................................................... Mr. X Alias: *. ****** Hobbies: Playing with plasma Strengths: Speaking through boxes Weakness: Insaitable need to construct machines from household items. Likes: Duct tape Dislikes: Entropy .......................................................................... |
If you can find them and you can afford them, you might want to contact... The Deviated Preverts
I don't know what the fuck they will do for you, but you can try.
Requirements of being a Deviated
Prevert :
Proficient with firearms.
Able to ignore explicit instructions.
Fondness for explosions.
Ability to survive on Pizza and hot-wings alone.
Penchant for alienating oneself from the rest of society.
Ability to digest lactose. (Up yours Todd!)
An opinion on the topic of skull fucking Saddam Hussein's severed head.
Ability to go anywhere and do anything as long as it doesn't cost much.
Kill without regret.
Degree from a top rated university or Texas Tech.
Knows what happens when a car traveling at the speed of light turns on it's headlights, yes we know what happens, and you are wrong and we won't tell you.
Have been kicked out of at least one store for heckling the baby Jesus.
Overeducated and underemployed.
Been screamed at by Debra at least 3 times.
Talent for killing tiny steel silhouettes of fucking sheep, and sheep fucking.
Ability to overstay welcome.
General lack of respect for others.
Innate ability to make others uncomfortable and feel... dirty.
Dress with flare and no style.
High speed tactical off road driving in real shitty cars.
Can kill ninjas like mosquitoes.
Can kill mosquitoes like ninjas.
The Deviated Objective:
uh... stuff...
Deviated Prevert Mascot:
Natalie Portman
("You guys are super!")
Mabbitt's favorite photo of her:
(C) Deviated Preverts & Vaculin Co. 2004
She will be mine...
She will be mine.
All restraining orders can be mailed to Deviated_Preverts@notrealmail.com
