The possum incident.
as told by His Majesty Gareth
All right, I will attempt to put the story in writing. I would like to preface this by saying that what you are about to read is a TRUE story. Please forgive any grammatical mistakes, it's late and I need to hurry.A long time ago (5 or 6 years at least) in a far away place (Bowling Green, KY) I was taking an extended vacation and staying at the residence of my squire Werner (the W is pronounced like a V). Werner lives in a mobile home and like most mobile homes with a little age it has some imperfections. At this particular point in time one of these imperfections happened to be a hole in the floor (long since repaired) that we covered with a future shield (a legally acquired former road sign ;). One evening we were lounging around when we heard a loud noise coming from beneath the floor. Werner says "Damn rats, I hate rats, I'm going to kill me a rat!" at which point he takes two steps and puts his hand on a .38 caliber revolver. (For those of you who don't know Werner personally I should say that he is a bit of a gun enthusiast. One would be hard pressed to take two steps anywhere in his home and not be able to put their hands on a firearm.) So Werner pulls the aluminum up off of the floor exposing the hole through which we could see the ground. He takes the hollow point ammunition out of the .38 and replaces it with snake shot (basically a shell that has many little pellets instead of one slug which increases the chance of hitting something slippery like a snake or a rat). He goes to the stove and gets a left over biscuit, sops it in some grease and places it in the hole on the ground to use as bait. He gets a table from the kitchen table and sets it beside the hole and then he sits down with the pistol in his lap, crosses his hands behind his head, and proceeds to watch the biscuit. I said, "What the hell is that man, your rat stand?" to which Werner replies "I'm gonna kill me a rat." I think to myself "yeah, right" and I sit down to call Duchess Caroline. During our phone conversation I hear the rather startling sound of a weapon being discharged. In my surprised state I yelled an expletive, which I shall not repeat in this venue, then I recovered and said to Duchess Caroline "I'm going to have to let you go Jean it seems we are shooting rodents in the house" to which she calmly replied "well now you just call me back and let me know how that turns out." After I hang up Werner starts apologizing profusely saying how sorry he is etc... I said "I understand, you had a target of opportunity and you had to take the shot." I then looked into the hole and amazingly enough there was a long prehensile tail streaming into the lit area from the darkness. I look at Werner and say "I'm not going to pull it out and he immediately agrees. We decide to get a pair of wire pliers and as I am pulling on the tail I'm thinking he has killed a very bit rat perhaps even a ROUS (rodent of unusual size). When we get it into the light we see that it is a opossum instead of a rat. We have a good laugh and then I start to give Werner grief regarding the fact that you know you're a redneck if you can go opossum hunting in your living room. Werner's response was "well, at least I didn't want to skin him and eat him." I said, "Well, okay then!" That is the story of the opossum incident. Weird but true.
In Service, |