The Great Duke Impersonator

Now you've got to realize that this is a point of view story. This is told from my point of view. Now, at the time that this occurred, I was NOT squired to Duke Sir Kane Redfeather. This may be one of the things that led up to me being squired to Kane, for the simple fact that Kane felt bad for doing this to me.

But what happened was, we were at Gulf Wars II. I had brought a few guys to fight. And of course we were going to fight for Shadow Legion because I was a member of the household. So, we get there and I don't really have a full squad, I've only got about six guys. So Kane says "Hey, Don't worry about it, I've got a few loose new guys, I'll give them to you."

Great! No problem! They look real good. They've got good armor, they've got weapons. they have that little strut that says "Hey! You many kill me, but I'm taking somebody with me when I go!" And we line up, out on the battlefield. It's a bright clear morning, perfect for fighting! It's a big War for just a weekend event (which it still was at this point).

We're fighting on a field that has an uphill slope at one end, and it's probably a football field wide and three football fields long. We line up, about a third of the way up this slope, on the downhill side. The opposing forces are, of course, on the uphill side. And, as usual, their Majesties (or whoever's in charge) cant decide what to do, so we're all standing around, standing around, standing around, doing nothing... Two battle lines facing each other, five feet apart. My little squad is flank, right flank, all alone, separated from the rest of our forces completely. On the other end, the far left flank, was Kane and the remainder of Shadow Legion.

Now in Everybody's SCA career, there is a point where the naivety suffers a terrible blow and their faith in human nature is never the same again. That was my day! I did NOT pay attention to what was going on...

Rumors circulated up and down the the line that there were bounties offered on Kane's head. Duke Sir John the Bearkiller had offered a bottle of Shivas to the man who could bring him Kane's head. Apparently, this had been a premeditated thing... and Kane was aware! So, when we lined up, he made sure he was at the other end of the line. And when the call to "Lay On!" finally came, Bearkiller's forces went thru our left flank like a hot knife thru butter! It was almost like they let them thru. They circled around behind our army, and came right up the backside of my little bitty squad. And let me tell you something, I am sure that there have been multiple pile-ups on the Santa Monica Freeway that were not nearly as messy as this was! That was one of the singularly most horrid deaths I have EVER encountered!
Now, later on, when I got back to camp, my brain starts turning... (Now this is after the adrenaline has worn off, and I'm seeing things in a new light.) In other words, I've died, and I don't know WHY!!

One of the young men Kane sent over to fight with us was roughly Kane height... and he had roughly, "fluffy, curly, blonde" hair... and he was roughly of medium build... and he was wearing black clothes... and Kane's old armor... and he stood out like a sore thumb in the middle of my short new fighters... And when the people who were competing for said bottle of Shivas (mentioned in an earlier part of this passage) saw "Kane" over there on the right flank, they were beating each other up to see who could get over there and kill us first.

Now I was not informed, nobody was informed that this was a premeditated act by the King of Mischief himself!

And in the future, let that be a lesson to you children... Anybody that thinks Blondes are Stupid, needs to meet the famous Kane Impersonator!