Duke Andrew (of Seldomrest - Middle Kingdom)

Duke Andrew (of Seldomrest - Middle Kingdom)
It was on a bright clear Sunday morning after an event in the Canton of Three Hills in the Middle Kingdom. I was King for the second time and driving the fabled magical beast “Fatty Lumpkin” filled with all the gear and countenances of eight or nine of my subjects. Our final Court had been held just before our departure and we were all still in our medieval garb, including my Royal Crown.
As we approached the final traffic signal before entering the Great Highway (I-94) from Sprinkle Rd. in mundane Kalamazoo, Michigan, the light changed to yellow. I applied my Royal foot to the brakes of the fabled Fatty Lumpkin (a 1957 GMC Airport Limousine).
Nothing happened that should have happened. Fatty did NOT slow perceptibly for the traffic signal. Everything was moving in slow motion, to my senses. The traffic signal turned red. We did not stop. The cross traffic was heavy in both directions. I turned off the ignition and swerved to avoid the vehicles coming from the left, doing so effectively. I attempted to merge with the traffic moving from the right. This resulted in a sideswipe of another vehicle, which helped stop Fatty. The local law enforcement officers were called to the scene.
As the confused Officer was taking down the details of “King Andrew's accident, I was facing the intersection and observed a 1946 Plymouth approach the intersection and stopped for the signal. A male person on a rice burning motorcycle stopped in the lane next to the Plymouth and shouted something unintelligible to the driver of the Plymouth. The Plymouth backed up about fifty feet, stopped, and accelerated toward the motorcycle, striking it and knocking it and the rider into the median strip/ditch across four lanes of traffic.
I brought the situation to the attention of the officer, telling him “I'm a Registered Nurse, you go deal with the car driver and I’ll attend to his victim.” I approached the unconscious victim and evaluated him for apparent injuries. There were none, save for his being unconscious. I stayed at his side until he awoke, at which time I told him “Just relax, you’ve been in an accident, I’m a Registered Nurse and you do not appear to be seriously hurt, but don’t move for a while. He developed a quizzical expression at this, having heard those words coming from what must have looked like King Arthur. It was just too much for him and he became unconscious again.
When the emergency vehicle arrived to take him to the local hospital, he woke up again just after he had been put on the stretcher, saw me again, talking to the attendants. He groaned loudly and passed out once more. He was still unconscious when last I saw him.
When I attended traffic court, a few weeks later, I told the tale you have just heard to the magistrate. After a hearty laugh, he fined me ten dollars and let me go.

Duke Andrew (of Seldomrest - Middle Kingdom)

It was on a bright clear Sunday morning after an event in the Canton of Three Hills in the Middle Kingdom. I was King for the second time and driving the fabled magical beast “Fatty Lumpkin” filled with all the gear and countenances of eight or nine of my subjects. Our final Court had been held just before our departure and we were all still in our medieval garb, including my Royal Crown.

As we approached the final traffic signal before entering the Great Highway (I-94) from Sprinkle Rd. in mundane Kalamazoo, Michigan, the light changed to yellow. I applied my Royal foot to the brakes of the fabled Fatty Lumpkin (a 1957 GMC Airport Limousine).

Nothing happened that should have happened. Fatty did NOT slow perceptibly for the traffic signal. Everything was moving in slow motion, to my senses. The traffic signal turned red. We did not stop. The cross traffic was heavy in both directions. I turned off the ignition and swerved to avoid the vehicles coming from the left, doing so effectively. I attempted to merge with the traffic moving from the right. This resulted in a sideswipe of another vehicle, which helped stop Fatty. The local law enforcement officers were called to the scene.

As the confused Officer was taking down the details of “King Andrew's accident, I was facing the intersection and observed a 1946 Plymouth approach the intersection and stopped for the signal. A male person on a rice burning motorcycle stopped in the lane next to the Plymouth and shouted something unintelligible to the driver of the Plymouth. The Plymouth backed up about fifty feet, stopped, and accelerated toward the motorcycle, striking it and knocking it and the rider into the median strip/ditch across four lanes of traffic.

I brought the situation to the attention of the officer, telling him “I'm a Registered Nurse, you go deal with the car driver and I’ll attend to his victim.” I approached the unconscious victim and evaluated him for apparent injuries. There were none, save for his being unconscious. I stayed at his side until he awoke, at which time I told him “Just relax, you’ve been in an accident, I’m a Registered Nurse and you do not appear to be seriously hurt, but don’t move for a while. He developed a quizzical expression at this, having heard those words coming from what must have looked like King Arthur. It was just too much for him and he became unconscious again.

When the emergency vehicle arrived to take him to the local hospital, he woke up again just after he had been put on the stretcher, saw me again, talking to the attendants. He groaned loudly and passed out once more. He was still unconscious when last I saw him.

When I attended traffic court, a few weeks later, I told the tale you have just heard to the magistrate. After a hearty laugh, he fined me ten dollars and let me go.