A Clean Song

There was a young sailor Who looked through the glass, And spied a fair mermaid With scales on her island Where seagulls Fly over their nests She combed the long hair That hung over her shoulders And caused her To tickle and itch. The sailor cried out "There's a beautiful mermaid," A-sitting out There on the rocks, The crew came around A-grabbing their glasses And crowded four deep To the rail, All eager to share In this fine piece of news. Which the captain soon Heard from the watch. He tied down the wheel And he reached for his crackers And cheese which He kept near the door. In case he might someday Encounter a mermaid. He knew he must Use all his wits Crying "Throw out a line. We'll lasso her flippers." And then we will Certainly find If mermaids are better Before or be brave My good fellows." The captain then said. "With fortune we'll break Through her mermaiden head- -ing to starboard They tacked with dispatch. And caught that fair mermaid Just under her elbows And hustled her Down below decks, And each took a turn At her feminine setting Her free at the end Of the farce, She splashed in the waves, Falling flat on her after A while one man Noticed some scabs, Soon they broke out with the pox And the scratching With fury, Cursing with spleen, This song may be dull But it's certainly clean.