The Moose Song 

(to the tune of "Sweet Betsy from Pike")

When I was a young man, I used to like girls;
I'd fondle their bodies, and play with their curls
'Till my girlfriend ran off with a salesman named 'Bruce';
Now you'd never be treated that way by a moose

CHORUS
(And it's)  Moose, Moose, I like a moose,
   I've never had anything quite like a moose
   I've had many women, my life has been loose,
   but I've never had anything quite like a moose.

Whenever I'm bored and in need of a lay;
I go to the closet and gets me some hay;
I go to the window and spread it around,
'Cause Moose always come when there's hay on the ground

I've done it with all kind of beasties with hair,
I'd do it with snakes if their fangs were not there;
I've done it with a walrus, a duck, and a goose,
But I've never had anything quite like a moose.

Gorrilla's are allright for Saturday night,
Lions and Tigers, they put up a fight;
But it's just not the same when you slam their caboose,
As the feeling you gets when you humps on a moose.

Now I am old and advanced in my years,
I look back on life, and I shed me no tears;
As I sit in my chair with my glass of matoose,
Playing hide the salami with Marvin the Moose.