Okay, what the hell was all this about?!

First off, the opening scene with apes/early humans lasted 20 minutes! That's at least 15 minutes too long. Why? Because if I have to look at my watch to see how long the crap has been going on, then it's too long.

And after the ending I can see why hippies would get high, sit on the floor in front of the big screen and have a trip during the vibrant colors when Frank comes in contact with the monolith. Whereas I, sitting on my bed eating pizza on my day off watching this instead of what's certain to be a good episode of 'Sabrina, The Teenage Witch', was hoping the movie will end sooner rather than later because I was frankly bored out of my wits.

It was all too weird. What the heck happened? Kubrick is cuckoo. And if you don't agree, then see A Clockwork Orange again. That'll set you free. I did enjoy Full Metal Jacket for the first hour, but even that was kinda looney.

Now don't get the idea I didn't get the major gist of it. I thought the cinematography was excellent for a 1968 movie, and the shots inside the Jupiter ship where Dave is running round and round, and the viewer never really gets a sense of which side is up. And the interaction of HAL with the crew is also an upside to 2001. HAL's malfunction is the only part of the film with any tension, and his scenes are the only ones remotely interesting, such as where it reads Dave and Frank's lips in the pod, or refuses to believe it is not working correctly and will not allow the two astronauts to "jeopardize the mission."

Of course, the best part of the movie is the music. Kubrick's use of classical rather than typical Hollywood soundtrack music was genius. The music moved the film along nicely, notably Johann Strauss's "Blue Danube" and Richard Strauss's "Thus Spake Zarathustra", and was at least something to enjoy while I raised an eyebrow in confusion or staved off sleep.

But for those who want to know the philosophical ideas of the film, I quote Roger Ebert:

"What (Kubrick) had actually done was make a philosophical statement about man's place in the universe, using images as those before him had used words, music or prayer. And he had made it in a way that invited us to contemplate it--not to experience it vicariously as entertainment, as we might in a good conventional science-fiction film, but to stand outside it as a philosopher might, and think about it."

The verdict: -- Watch only if you have to see all of the AFI top 100 or are a movie fanatic.

Bonnie and Clyde
1967, 1 hr 51 min. Dir: Arthur Penn. Cast: Warren Beatty (Clyde Barrow), Faye Dunaway (Bonnie Parker), Michael J. Pollard (C.W. Moss), Gene Hackman (Buck Barrow), Estelle Parsons (Blanche), Gene Wilder (Eugene Grizzard).

Like Titanic, audiences know that Bonnie and Clyde are doomed from the start, but that's not the point. The beauty of the film is in how we get to the legendary ending, the legend of the Barrow gang. The joy, the love, the exhiliration and sympathy you have for them is accentuated by the knowledge of their inevitable demise.

PLOT: Clye (Beatty), just released from prison, rides through a lonely Texas town during the Depression, where he "rescues" Bonnie (Dunaway) from monotony. Immediately they become fugitives, but they possess a charm that makes them "good" criminals in our mind, in the same note a couple years later with Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid.

After being robbed by Bonnie and Clyde, C.W. Moss (Pollard), a gas station attendant, joins the pair. Soon after, we meet up with Clyde's brother Buck (Hackman) and Blance (Parsons) who make it an official gang. Through a series of robberies and unintended killings, the gang does some self-promotion, taking several photos to send to newspapers and Bonnie pens "The Ballad of Bonnie and Clyde." With this publicity the legend grows, and draws increased pressure from law enforcement to end this spree.

The acting is top-notch, and it's difficult to believe that several of the stars (Hackman, Dunaway, Parsons, Pollard, Wilder) were virtually unknown stage actors, with Bonnie and Clyde being their breakout hit.

I've always been a fan of Hackman, who has been fantastic for 30 years since this role, with the same style. Parsons was really irritating (on purpose) and must have annoyed 1967 audiences as well because she won an Academy Award for Best Supporting Actress for her portrayal as Blanche. Pollard is a great mascot for the gang, and Wilder, even in a small part, was amusing as he would prove to be for a couple of decades. Dunaway screams glamour as Bonnie Parker, the poor-waitress-turned-legendary outlaw. I place this role as her second-best, after her performance as an overeager executive in Network ten years later.

The verdict: -- Great cast, great story, great movie.

Charade
1963, 1 hr 53 min. Dir: Stanley Donen. Cast: Cary Grant (Peter Joshua/Alexander Dyle/Adam Canfield/Brian Cruikshank), Audrey Hepburn (Regina 'Reggie' Lampert), Walter Matthau (Hamilton Bartholomew/Carson Dyle), James Coburn (Tex Panthollow), George Kennedy (Herman Scobie).

cha·rade: a game in which words to be guessed are pantomimed, often syllable by syllable. Or, as in www.areyougame.com: "Spontaneous. Imaginative. Silly. The game of Charades, created in 16th century France, became one of the most popular parlor games in the U.S. because we all love to laugh when we see our family and friends in the midst of uninhibited theatrical expression."

Not surprisingly, Charade doesn't involve Cary Grant and Audrey Hepburn playing games during parties. No charades, no pictionary. Although, I bet they'd be very good at Scruples.

Still, the definition fits Charade. Syllable by syllable, or scene by scene in this case, the movie develops in front of the viewer as a mystery, and it's so much fun you don't mind if you do or don't know what the answer is. Even if you do, you still stay silent and let others figure it out, because the 'uninhibited theatrical expression' of the stars is worth it.

The film is strewn with snappy dialogue, and though it sometimes tries too hard to be cute, maintains a witty air. The screen is full of recognizable and embraceable characters and actors/actresses, and as ever, Audrey Hepburn is ever charming and innocent yet plucky. Walter Matthau, George Kennedy and James Coburn are first-rate in support.

It's truly a Hitchcock-esque whodunit, but transitions from suspense to romantic comedy in a flash. In American Movie Classics' intro, they said Charades was the best Alfred Hitchcock movie that Hitchcock never made. A wonderful - and accurate - compliment, indeed.

The verdict:

Easy Rider
1969, 1 hr 39 min. Dir: Dennis Hopper. Cast: Peter Fonda (Wyatt), Dennis Hopper (Billy), Jack Nicholson (George Hanson).

I'm not sure what to think of this one, but 1969 must have been quite a year with this and Midnight Cowboy coming out.

Peter Fonda was okay as the laid back journeyman, Nicholson had a minor role playing a character like every other one in his career, and Dennis Hopper was annoying.

With it being 1969, the height of America's hippie movement and anti-hippie movement, I'm sure I didn't catch several of the nuances in Easy Rider. But what's with the sixties movies and their drug trip sequences? The ten minutes spent on a hallucinatory journey in the New Orleans graveyard had me thinking I had drunken too much caffeine mixed with spaghetti o's. But that also shows that the director did a strong job of getting the viewer into the minds of these guys and gals.

The scenes where we visit a hippie commune out west were candid, giving the view of those who feel they need to venture out from the rest of society. But that doesn't mean all is happy-happy-joy-joy. They have no food and many mouths to feed, and attempt to grow crops out of the desert, which will more than likely be a fruitless exercise.

The scenery itself is enticing; with the Western landscape as a backdrop a director can rarely go wrong. Just ask John Ford, the director of many fine westerns, several of them starring John Wayne. The desert scenery provides for a smooth ride on this trip across America, where the first half of Easy Rider takes place.

In the end, though, I was left dangling like a bad participle. We saw how the Louisiana hicks treated Fonda and Hopper in the cafe, so we knew the area was anti-hippie. Which was even more apparent when they snuck into their camp at night and killed Nicholson's character. But to end it in a similar vein didn't satisfy me.

The verdict: -- Easy ride.

The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly
1966, 2 hrs 41 min., Rated R. Dir: Sergio Leone. Cast: Clint Eastwood (The Good--Blondie, Man without a Name), Lee Van Cleef (The Bad--Angel Eyes), Eli Wallach (The Ugly--Tuco Benedito Pacifico Juan Maria Ramirez).

I can't believe I made it into my 20s before seeing The Good, The Bad and The Ugly? It's nothing short of a miracle, I suppose, because this is one of the classics of cinema, with star power and artistry rarely seen on screen in Westerns.

The third of director Sergio Leone's Dollars trilogy (the others being Fistful of Dollars and For a Few Dollars More) is set during the Civil War as three solitary men, using each other when necessary, search for hidden Confederate gold, each possessing limited knowledge of its whereabouts.

It may seem a tad long, but the images, dialogue, situations and humor keep it humming along as the viewer patiently awaits the fates of our "heroes." That may not be the most appropriate word, but even though these guys are low-life scum, one cannot help but like the characters.

One aspect of The Good, The Bad and The Ugly that all moviegoers should recognize is the memorable score by renowned Italian composer Ennio Morricone. The coyote howls and mariachi fit perfectly with this exemplary spaghetti Western. Morricone has written scores for about 400 films, and was nominated for his work on 1992' Bugsy, and won a Golden Globe in 1999 for his score of The Legend of 1900. This score was his most successful financially, in the Billboard top ten of all albums.

Leone and Morricone teamed up on many films, reminiscent of such partnerships as George Lucas and John Williams or even Steven Spielberg and John Williams. Because of their teamwork, as Amazon.com points out, "as with only the best film music, it is inexorably linked with the movie it accompanies, and it's wonderfully enjoyable even if you've never seen the film."

Leone loves the setting, as he gives plenty of slow-moving wide shots that shows off the West as only director John Ford could capture. Leone was taking his time, letting the audience soak in the atmosphere, using many silent pauses to heighten the viewer's interest in what would happen next.

Also typical of spaghetti Westerns, Leone loves the close-up shots of actors' faces. Being employed in the television business, I can vouch that this is necessary. Watching Ugly's (Eli Wallach) shifty eyes, Bad's (Lee Van Cleef, a.k.a. Angel Eyes) icy glare and Good's (Clint Eastwood, a.k.a. Blondie) blank poker face, one knows exactly who these characters are, and the emotions that Leone hopes to convey are in your face.

None of the characters are given much depth, but what's important are their motivations. The way they achieve the goal of getting the goal is what separates them as Good, Bad and Ugly. These are all bad guys as there can be no true allegiances, only uneasy partnerships among dishonorable citizens.

Eastwood became a star because of the film as the Man with No Name. He doesn't say much, but when he does you sit up and pay attention. Because of this, you may think he doesn't have much personality, but he's smart, witty and commanding. Of course, the only reason he's labeled Good is that he doesn't kill innocent civilians and only harms people when he must.

Wallach is given the best role, as the smart-mouthed The Rat, full of spit and vigor as a smart yet insane criminal. Here is just a listing of the crimes Ugly is wanted for: murder, armed robbery, theft, arson, perjury, bigamy, deserting wife and family, kidnapping, extortion, passing counterfeit money, receiving and selling stolen goods and inciting prostitution, among others.

Van Cleef's Bad is quietly evil, as an all-business criminal who hides it by joining the Union army. "When I'm paid, I always follow the job through," even if means killing the guy he's hired to kill, who paid him to kill the guy who wanted him killed -- ya gotta admire such an honest work ethic.!

Leone studied the Civil War extensively to make The Good, The Bad and The Ugly look authentic, and used Matthew Brady's acclaimed photos taken during the war while sitting in the director's chair.

The film is not about the War of Northern Aggression (wink wink), only set during the time and the three leads constantly have to deal with the situations of the conflict in finding their gold. The DVD shows how Leone researched Matthew Brady's pictures for authenticity. Although, there's a bit of license, of course, since there weren't near the size of engagements in the West that the movie shows. It is true, however, that C.S.A. General Sibley's campaign against Federals on the Texas-New Mexico frontier were bloody and important. There are plenty of wounded lying around or hobbling in the streets, many dead soldiers and constant artillery fire booming off screen. In one instance we see a well-constructed Federal trench system as the Federal and Confederate troops dig in across the river from one another. During the battle, Eastwood notes that "I've never seen so many men wasted so badly."

This is just a nuisance for Eastwood and Wallach as they try to get across the river. The pair even dumps a wounded soldier to take the gurney and carry explosives in order to blow up the bridge between the armies. Just two greedy coldhearted bastards out for treasure!

If you haven't seen The Good, The Bad and The Ugly, do so, if only for the score and one of the best showdowns ever between the three in a cemetary. If you have, then you know how good it is and don't need my review, which is for entertainment purposes only.

The verdict: -- Good, gooder and goodest!

The Great Escape
1963, 2 hrs 49 min. Dir: John Sturges. Cast: Steve McQueen (Capt. Virgil Hilts "The Cooler King"), James Garner (Hendley "The Scrounger"), Richard Attenborough (Bartlett "Big X"), James Donald (Ramsey "The SBO"), Charles Bronson (Danny Velinski "Tunnel King"), Donald Pleasance (Colin Blythe "The Forger"), James Coburn (Sedgwick "Manufacturer"), Angus Lennie (Ives "The Mole").

This is one of my top ten favorites of all time. With such a great cast, it's difficult to stray from perfection. And it's a great starting point for this movie based on a true story about a German prison camp in World War II.

PLOT: The German commandant has the unenviable task of guarding hundreds of escape-prone Allied soldiers, or as he puts it, "putting all the rotten eggs in one basket." The soldiers, most of whom are members of her majesty's Royal Air Force, with a couple of Americans added to the mix (Garner and McQueen represent the U.S. of A. with pride and a touch of arrogance. Our boys!).

Despite past all-star casts that may have been sparce in good parts because of an urgency to squeeze everyone in, The Great Escape manages to give each character his own style and quality that has the viewer rooting for a victorious escape.

The script does that by giving each character a job description, i.e., James Garner as "The Scrounger." You need something, he gets it, no matter how strange or devious he has to be. Attenborough is "The Big X," the man in charge of the operation of digging three tunnels out, dubbed Tom, Dick and Harry; and so on and so on for the major stars.

Actually, in parts it seems the prisoners are having a great time, and you begin to think a POW camp isn't so bad. But the director gives enough for us to realize the Germans are the bad guys, from shooting guys who get to near the fence, or willing to poke anyone with a pitch fork to find you in a truck. And they're smarter than we think, so the escapees just have to be smarter. And from what we hear, they've had many chances to try. Bronson (The Tunnel King) begins work on his 17th tunnel to start. Which means he has gotten caught every time.

The verdict: -- A great escape.

The Hustler
1961, 2 hr 10 min. Dir: Robert Rossen. Cast: Paul Newman ('Fast' Eddie Felson), Jackie Gleason (Minnesota Fats), Piper Laurie (Sarah Packard), George C. Scott (Bert Gordon), Myron McCormick (Charlie Burns).

The Hustler is supposedly a classic, and ESPN.com's Page 2 recently ranked it in the top ten of all sports flicks. So I picked up the DVD and decided to see for myself. Since I've seen the Tom Cruise/Paul Newman 'update', The Color of Money, I should see it's less-slick predecessor, which I now can say is a better all-around product.

There's nothing inspiring about it, just a tale of a loser loaded with talent and booze with no self-control or wherewithal to stop that figurative truck from rolling downhill into a ditch. It wasn't as good as I felt it would be after the first half-hour, though. The Hustler follows up one of the greatest scenes I've ever seen, Paul Newman and Jackie Gleason's two-days straight of playing mano y mano, with a slow half-hour where Newman washes out with the utterly forgettable Piper Laurie.

Newman delivers a good effort, but Jackie Gleason steals the show in his small role as Minnesota Fats, who "has more character in one finger than (Newman's Fast Eddie has) in your entire skinny body." So says George C. Scott. Scott also puts forth a memorable performance as the creepy 'manager' of Gleason then Newman. But Gleason has such presence that you can't help but be in awe. After 24 hours of pool, Newman is a drunken mess, but Gleason patiently washes up, brushes his hair and gets down to the business of pool for another day without sleep. Intimidating, indeed.

That's no knock on Paul Newman, just that the acting in The Hustler is extraordinary. Newman is in every scene, brooding all the while, and makes every one worthwhile as he ranges from overconfident to downtrodden in a matter of seconds. Fast Eddie doesn't know when to quit, nor can he tell the difference between how he 'can' win and how one 'will' win. Which means that Eddie doesn't have the resolve to be a winner.

Recommended for those with a healthy dose of patience, and you don't have to be a fan of billiards on ESPN on Friday nights to enjoy the tension and trick shots during the games in the flick.

The verdict:

The Manchurian Candidate
1962, 2 hrs 6 min. Dir: John Frankenheimer. Cast: Laurence Harvey (Raymond Shaw), Frank Sinatra (Marco), Angela Landsbury (Mrs. Iselin), Janet Leigh (Rosie), James Gregory (Senator James Iselin), Leslie Parrish (Jocie Jordan).

I love spy films. Following the espionage and little things that become so important is a lot of fun, especially if done well. Which is why I enjoyed The Manchurian Candidate so much.

The film, made in 1962, focuses on Raymond Shaw, a strict and unliked Sergeant in the Army in the Korean War who returns a hero and is awarded the Congressional Medal of Honor. Also, his men recite that he's "the kindest, warmest, bravest, most wonderful human being I've ever met," even as they simultaneously believe "he's not hard to like--he's impossible to like!" and "he's one of the most repulsive human beings I've ever met!"

As it turns out, the soldiers were captured by Soviet agents and promptly brainwashed at the Pavlov Institute (get it? the dogs?) into thinking they elminated a Korean machine gun nest through the heroics of Shaw. As Shaw's mind is solidly in the control of the Soviet agents, Marco and another soldier in the company have terrible re-occuring dreams of their ordeal, which leads Marco to the truth, that Shaw will be forced to kill a high-ranking American in the near future.

Frank Sinatra plays Marco, and gives a decent performance, slightly above average. He's a little over the top at times, but does not detract from the proceedings. Laurence Harvey as Shaw comes across purposefully and well-done as monotonous and stoic, the product of a bad upbringing. After he weds, it's his finest hour as he gleefully tells Marco, "Raymond Shaw got married, and he made a joke. Big day." We see in a flashback that he once had a heart, but that was killed by his mother.

The best performance is reserved for Angela Landsbury, the controlling and cold mother of Shaw who runs her husbands' (Senator John Iselin) political career with an iron fist. This Hillary Clinton wanna-be designs every moment in front of the news cameras and the nation. This is another area of the film to enjoy, the way to manipulate the public into loving you or hating you, either way getting their attention. There's even an impeachment scandal!

The Soviet agents were amusing (on purpose--"always with a bit of humor"), working over Shaw like he was a puppet, making him kill people just for the sake of seeing that he'd really do it--"having been removed of these uniquely American symptoms, guilt and fear, he is well-conditioned." Dang those Commie pinko bastards!

I am curious about one thing, though. Rosie comes across as a Soviet spy, but it's never revealed if she is or not. On the train, upon meeting Marco, she mentions that she was one of the original Chinese workmen who laid the track. Was she kidding? I couldn't tell, and we never know if she's part of the brainwashing game. The way she gives her address and phone number is another clue, and again we're left confused. But, that's a little part of an otherwise great film.

The verdict: -- Espionage, intrigue, great cast--it's a classic all right.

The Magnificent Seven
1960, 2 hrs 8 min. Dir: John Sturges. Cast: Yul Brynner, Steve McQueen, Eli Wallach, Harst Bucholz, James Coburn, Charles Bronson, Robert Vaughn, Brad Dexter.

I don't care if The Magnificent Seven is a remake or retooling of Akria Kurosawa's The Seven Samurai, because it's a story that is long been told: poor, weak villagers in search of protection from really bad guys who steal from them and rape their women, and find some hired guns (themselves questionable in character) to kill the bad guys.

And, even more so for me, is the fact that The Magnificent Seven is an American western, not a Japanese swordfighting trip with subtitles. Not that I'm against some good swashbuckling, but it's no gunfighting smash-em-up. And Samurai doesn't have Yul Brynner, Steve McQueen, Charles Bronson and James Coburn leading the cast.

Brynner is a fine actor, and wears a cowboy hat well on his famously bald skull, but I'm constantly picturing him in The Ten Commandments and The King and I. It's similar to my preference for John Wayne in westerns and war films, as opposed to the others, such as McQ and The Barbarian and the Geisha. Brynner needs some "oomph"!, he just plays it too monotone.

Eli Wallach (Calvera) has seen plenty of westerns, and knew how to portray the really, really, bad, bad guy. His evilness as knows no bounds. But he also adds something, that made me think that it's gotta be tough to be the leader of such a rough gang of 30-40 men. He has to keep discipline in the ranks, feed everyone regularly and well, and keep plenty of ammunition and horses on hand. It's a bureaucratic nightmare, especially when the morale in question involves dozens of guys who would gladly kill you in a hostile take-over. The groups' main reason for terrorizing the farmers is food for the winter, the most primitive need in the world. And, hey, he leaves plenty for the farmers and their families to consume as well, so he's not a altogether evil man in that regard. Then again, he also shows a side willing to kill with ease and steal from churches.

There are several reasons to enjoy the film, such as the diverse cast of characters, which necessary when you're movie title demands seven heroes. The lead actors provide evidence for why I enjoy every other movie made by them (such as The Great Escape which stars McQueen, Coburn and Bronson). The distinguishing characteristics of our stars:

1. Chris (Brynner): Leader, cool cat
2. Vin (McQueen): Lover of women, bad gambler
3. Britt (Coburn): The knife specialist, good at strategy
4. Harry (Dexter): Fun guy, too greedy
5. Bernardo O'Reilly(Bronson): Understands the villagers more than any others
6. Lee (Vaughn): Getting older and losing his nerve
7. Chico (Bucholz): Too young and proud for his own good