YOU KNOW YOU ARE GREEK IF...
...you have ever had loukoumades
...you can distinguish between kefalotiri and kefalograviera
...you can spell kefalograviera
...you are an adult and are forced to be with your family at
12 midnight on New Year's Eve
...upon meeting another Greek, one of your first questions
is, "What church do you go to?"
...your grandmother/mother/aunt has a miracle cure for
everything
...if you're a girl, your mother still tries to put those
pony tail holders with the BIG plastic balls on the
end on your hair.
...if you're a guy, your mother still tries to make you
wear that super frilly dress shirt with that huge bow
tie, because it looked so cute when you were 7
...you can name any or all of the gods on Mount Olympus
...your mother or father still feels the need to tell
you, "katse kala" in public
...you have ever been hit with a pandofla
...can dance kalamatiano, tsamiko, zebekiko without
music
... you go to church picnics pretending you're there for
reasons other than to check up/gossip about other
Greeks
...you or a family member has been photographed with a
donkey
...you must name your children after your in-laws
...you have at least 5 Maria's and 9 Dimitri's in your
family as a result of the above
...you have ever heard the phrase, "Sto leo yia to kalo
sou"
...you have one or more of those porcelain figurines in
your house
...you have ever broken one of those porcelain figurines
and your mother still hasn't forgiven you
...your parents have ever made up the name of a
street/store/tv show because they couldn't remember it
or they couldn't pronounce it
...you still get scared when you hear the name
"Baboola"
...upon meeting another Greek you try to find out
what village they're from
...you or a family member wears their Sunday best to go
to the laundromat or grocery shopping
...you have ever been threatened by a Greek School
teacher
...still get threatened by a Greek School teacher
even though you're 30 years old
...you have ever been spanked by your friend's parents
because your parents gave them permission to
...you have ever been spanked by the whole neighborhood
because your parents gave them permission to
...you have a bottle of OUZO in your house right now
...you know what a komboloi is
...you know how to work a komboloi
...when you were younger and going on car trips, you
always had to sit on someone's lap in the front or
back seat
...you have ever been threatened to be eaten by the
mavro/baboola/yero/pontiki when you were little
...someone in your family owns any type of restaurant
...your family inheritance includes olive trees
...you are suprised to find that the local pet store does
not sell goats
...you can't understand why McDonald's rejected your idea
for the "McFeta" sandwich
