In its six years, the column was usually meant to be funny, although it had its serious moments. It won four Nevada State Press Association awards in the small daily newspaper category: third place for best local column in 1998 (I had to enter three of my first four columns because of the award submission deadline), first place for best local column in 1999, first place for best local non-staff column in 2000 and second place for best local non-staff column in 2003.
Versions of this column have also been published in the Las Vegas Senior Press, Las Vegas Mercury and Las Vegas CityLife.
Here are columns, with the newest ones at the top. With comments or questions, please e-mail me at jiboegle@stanfordalumni.org
Exit stage left: It's time for the Daily Sparks Tribune Humor Column Department to say goodbye.
March 9, 2004
What? Me Worry? HELL YES!: A recent Pentagon report -- largely ignored in the United States -- says that global warming could lead to some very, very bad consequences. Gulp...
March 2, 2004
Are the two parties really the same?: Ralph Nader and other third-party folks claim the two major parties are the same. This begs the question: Are Nader and his homies on crack?
February 24, 2004
Ignoring the guilt pangs as I sip my vanilla latte: OK, so I am a progressive who has a thing for Starbucks. I can handle the hypocritical guilt. Really. *Sniff.*
February 17, 2004
The news that we REAL people want!: Who cares about Martha Stewart? I want news about MP3 players for my weapons!
February 10, 2004
Putting the story before the truth: The longtime editor of the Weekly World News is dead, and journalists across the country are expressing grief.
February 3, 2004
Nevada gets ready to rock it at the caucus: As other states hold their presidential primaries, Nevadans are hard-nippled over ... caucuses!
January 27, 2004
Copyright this!: Village Voice Media and Microsoft illustrate how whacked corporations have become these days when it comes to the Name Game.
January 20, 2004
The great sofa-shopping experiment: I started out with a crappy futon, and after some help from Big Al, I had some black leather.
January 13, 2004
When Britney and Mars collide: The news bulletins came in fast and furious, almost simultaneously: We were on Mars! And ... Britney Spears was married!
January 6, 2004
Making the transition from cold-weather wizard to warm-weather wimp: I used to be unfazed by cold weather. And then, I moved to the desert southwest.
December 30, 2003
Busy? Overwhelmed? Never fear; here's a holiday news recap: Too busy to read the newspaper or catch the news broadcast? Here's the news that the Daily Sparks Tribune Humor Column Department doesn't want you to miss.
December 23, 2003
Celebrating the insanity of the season: We wear hats that look like impotent dunce caps. We kill innocent trees to celebrate the birth of our savior. Did you ever realize how warped many holiday traditions are?
December 16, 2003
A trip into the heart of Europe -- with a lot of second-hand smoke: Yet more (cough cough) news and commentary (hack!) from the smoky (cough! hack!) confines of Austria.
December 9, 2003
Think life is not funny? Come to Austria!: In this history-making column (it's the first known Sparks Tribune-exclusive humor column ever to be written from Europe), I discuss how absoluely freakin' hilarious Austria is.
December 2, 2003
The Michael Jackson case: Portraits of stupidity: Fans from the around the world are uniting to proclaim that Michael Jackson is innocent. While that may or may not be the case, one thing is for sure: These fans should be institutionalized.
November 25, 2003
Web searching for 'nude baseball'? Look no further!: A search of the Web site stats for this column brings up some interesting, funny and occasionally alarming facts.
November 18, 2003
The problems with bad writing: Movies, newspaper headlines and other forms of media illustrate that bad writing is running rampant these days.
November 11, 2003
Are new petition drives just cries for attention?: A Nevada Republican activist says he's going to get voters to repeal all of the recent state tax increases. Me thinks somebody wants some attention.
November 4, 2003
Did natural disasters delay your travel? Blame the airlines: Me and thousands of folks found ourselves stranded in Los Angeles after the area's horrible fires threatened an air traffic control tower. It was not a pretty sight.
October 28, 2003
When capitalism, fetishes and e-mail collide: Have you ever stopped to look at the e-mail spam you receive? It tells us a lot about the current human condition.
October 21, 2003
The art of dentistry procrastination: I let 10 years pass between trips to the dentist. Now I remember why I don't like going to the dentist.
October 14, 2003
Our neighbors illustrate the absurdity of politics: As our neighbors to the west go to vote in one of the stupidest elections in history, the world laughs.
October 7, 2003
Please keep your bodily smells and noises to yourself: I didn't know it was possible for someone's breath to be so bad that you could smell it when the person had his mouth closed and was facing away from you. Well, guess what?
September 30, 2003
Lawsuits and other things done by vermin: Some of Las Vegas' most annoying television lawyers have oozed their way to Reno. This is depressing.
September 23, 2003
Stupid celebrities shouldn't breed: Arnold's running for governor. So is alleged comedian Gallagher. And now Yoko Ono's performing nude. Good lord.
September 16, 2003
Just your typical diet evening: A dieter shopping at Safeway while hungry is not a pretty sight.
September 9, 2003
Thoughts and observations on the plague of outdoor fairs: I've been to all sorts of fairs recently, and I have several questions, most notably: Why in the hell would anyone want a piece of rice with his/her name on it?
September 2, 2003
Made-up letters on taxes, whitewater rafting and "the schnide": In this batch of made-up reader letters, we discuss topics ranging from Nevada football to "whitewater" rafting in downtown Reno.
August 26, 2003
Lint brushes and Chef Boyardee in downtown Reno: A recent evening in downtown Reno serves as evidence that it's getting weirder and weirder there.
August 19, 2003
Reserving seats at this upcoming meeting of the minds: There's a good chance that one day, Kenny Guinn and Arnold Schwarzenegger will meet as fellow governors of neighboring states. Could you imagine?!?
August 12, 2003
Yet more examples of stupid people who shouldn’t breed: People who wine for no good reason. People who get in my way. They all need to GO!
August 5, 2003
Cover up your head AND your top while motorbiking!: People riding motorbikes sans helmets are frightening enough. But people riding motorbikes sans CLOTHING?!?
July 29, 2003
The stupidity may be coming to an end!: The late-breaking word is the stupidest legislative session in Nevada history may be almost over. Thank God.
July 22, 2003
Channel surfing through idiotic Storm Alerts: All I wanted to do was watch TV. But my enjoyment was impeded by urgent storm alerts. But it was merely sprinkling. Why does TV news suck so much?
July 15, 2003
Frightening insight into the behavior of worked-up women: I found myself at a recent performance of the Thunder From Down Under male revue. And I found myself frightened.
July 8, 2003
Wanting less government means wanting it in all areas: Not to beat a dead horse here, but are all "conservative" Republicans on crack? Their hypocrisy indicates that they are.
July 1, 2003
A tough time to be a politician: Kenny Guinn's getting his butt kicked. Fidel Castro's getting crank calls. Tony Blair's getting mocked for being Dubya's lapdog. Poor fellas.
June 24, 2003
Not a productive way to convert the heathen masses: A man decided to spend his Saturday night preaching in downtown Reno. Did he really think this could be an effective use of his time?
June 17, 2003
Trapped in a plane in the heart of Texas: I was on my way to Pittsburgh for a convention and a baseball game. Let's just say we were delayed due to the evils of the Lone Star State.
June 10, 2003
The case of the short woman and the perfume: A trip to Cost Plus for wine damn near ended in tragedy for me due to an overabundance of fragrance.
June 3, 2003
How I spent my Memorial Day vacation: Let's say you're driving your Mom's car and it decides to crap out. And let's say it does this literally in the middle of Reno's busiest intersection. Let's just say it sucks when this happens.
May 27, 2003
More journalism morons run amok: Jayson Blair and Stephen Glass are making all the headlines these days. Yes, it truly is a sad time to be a journalist.
May 20, 2003
Those wild and wacky legislators!: Recent headlines show that the more things change in Carson City, the more things stay the same. God save the state.
May 13, 2003
These people need to calm down their bad selves: I am starting to think all these right-wing morons named Pat have a point. And if you believe that, then your name just may be "Pat," too.
May 6, 2003
Not all journalists are dweebs! We promise!: We have been asked to explain that not all media folks are cretins -- one or two of us still have ethics and morals.
April 29, 2003
The idiocy of chain stores continues!: Would someone please explain to me why there are 42 Walgreens stores within 25 miles of my home?
April 22, 2003
The embarrassing things we humans do: As I was driving to work the other day, I passed a driver distracted as he rooted around in his nose. This got me thinking.
April 15, 2003
Experiences flying the stupid skies: Based on what I've seen on airplanes and in airports recently, I am convinced that people are getting increasingly moronic.
April 8, 2003
Taking a look at the tax proposals: The Legislature is currently dealing with legislation that will determine the fiscal future of Nevada. How frightening is that?
April 1, 2003
Does anybody need a ton of cat fur?: My cat is shedding massively, breaking laws of physics in the process. It's kinda freaking me out.
March 25, 2003
War, Dixie Chick boycotts and Celine: Scary!: It's hard to be a humor columnist, what with the blight of war, Celine Dion and having to like the Dixie Chicks.
March 18, 2003
Another reason why foreigners think Americans are luantics: Times are tough in America right now. Despite this, however, a craze is sweeping the nation: The Giant Cheeto.
March 11, 2003
Saddam vs. Rather: Get over it!: I went on a right-wing talk show recently, and the whackadoos were ticked that an American journalist had THE NERVE to interview Saddam. What a bunch of morons!
March 4, 2003
Torn over the prospects of war: Whatever you think of the impending war with Iraq, you have to admit: It's sad that we're still going through this killing crap in the year 2003.
February 25, 2003
Ah, the stupid things we do: If humans are capable of putting a man on the moon, how is it possible they're also capable of bonehead maneuvers like closing garage doors on top of their cars?
February 18, 2003
These senior movie-goers need to shut the heck up!: A recent "About Schmidt" screening made me realize: Given the choice between a theater full of teens or a theater full of seniors, I'll take the teens.
February 11, 2003
Budget cuts hurt NASA safety: In this non-humor column, I reflect on the Columbia tragedy -- and how Congress has itself to blame for putting those astronauts in jeopardy.
February 4, 2003
On the road again: I absolutely loathe moving. It's a fact. Then why have I moved five times in the last 5 1/2 years?
January 28, 2003
The joys of long-distance apartment hunting: It's hard enough to find a nice place to live in a town that you know. But in an unfamiliar town? Forget it.
January 14, 2003
Adventures in grocery shopping: All I wanted to do was make some spinach dip for a dinner party. The spandex was highly unnecessary.
January 7, 2003
Observations and rants about the Truckee Meadows: Dogs are running amok. The Riverside 12 theater is packed. California drivers are morons. It's all true.
December 31, 2002
A Truckee Meadows shopping misadventure: The weather's bad, I am driving a tank for a car, and I can't figure out what to buy Mom for Christmas. It's a Truckee Meadows holiday tale.
December 24, 2002
Answering some fake letters that blew in: In the wake of the record-breaking wind storm, we answer some more made-up reader mail.
December 17, 2002
Christmas in Nevada: Holiday weirdness: Egg nog. A fake Christmas tree. An HBO documentary on the Moonlite Bunny Ranch. You've gotta love Christmas in Nevada.
December 10, 2002
Save the Liberty Belle! Lashings for the RSCVA!: The government -- i.e. the RSCVA -- is trying to take land -- i.e., the Liberty Belle -- from its owner for no good reason. This is wrong!
December 3, 2002
Giving thanks for taxpayer-funded Thanksgiving statistics: Did you know the government regularly compiles stats on, say, sweet potato consumption? Well, they do!
November 26, 2002
The phrase "square rutabaga": bringing folks together: By total accident, I used the phrase "square rutabaga" in a column a while back. Well, thanks to this phrase and the Internet, a connection has been made.
November 19, 2002
National Airlines, we hardly knew ye: It's always risky to make reservations with an airline teetering on bankruptcy. I learned this the hard way.
November 12, 2002
Wake up! It's Election Day! I said WAKE UP!: It's Election Day again. Here are some more tips on how to make your voting experience as festive as possible.
November 5, 2002
More evidence that God has a sick sense of humor: A meal at one of Reno's finest restaurants for me turned into a couple days of sitting on one of Reno's most unfortunate toilets.
October 29, 2002
Attack of the chain stores reaches Northern Nevada -- again: I went to Reno to get away from all the weird trappings of Vegas. And guess what I find? Trappings!!!
October 22, 2002
Holidays like Columbus Day make me cranky: Columbus Day is now one of those weird middling holidays in which it's kind of observed by society, but not really. This blows.
October 15, 2002
Fear and loathing at the Battle for the Fremont Cannon: There was no question weirdness and ugliness would ensue at the UNR-UNLV football game. The only question was what form it would take.
October 8, 2002
In defense of the right to be tossed: The U.N. Human Rights Committee last week handed down a landmark ruling on dwarf tossing. No, really. They did.
October 1, 2002
Frequently asked questions about that pot proposal: The Daily Sparks Tribune Humor Column Department was asked (not really) to answer some common questions about the marijuana ballot initiative.
September 24, 2002
Cell phones, lottery numbers and beet peelers: In this column consisting of made-up letters, I address phone abusers, Sept. 11 eerie coincidences and the art of beet peeling.
September 17, 2002
Northern Nevada-themed TV shows we'd like to see: As the gunk that is the new TV season starts, I thought I'd throw out some Northern Nevada-themed ideas for new shows.
September 10, 2002
Weirdness and confusion during Election 2002: Conservatives are talking about the need for big government. Incumbents are biting the dust. Our leaders are named "Kenny" and "Lorraine." What in the heck?
September 3, 2002
Jimmy's cars 3, Jimmy 0: I have always been cursed with cars that break down at horrible times. Well, I just had foot surgery, and I had to drive somewhere. Guess what happened?
August 27, 2002
The contentious vibe in the Biggest Little City: A weekend trip to Reno revealed that the big little city I love has some issues -- and the vibe was not a good one.
August 20, 2002
When it comes to baseball, Reno strikes out: Because of a decrepit stadium and moronic city management, Reno doesn't have minor-league baseball. And that's a shame.
August 13, 2002
Caught while in the act of self-Googling: Admit it: You've self-Googled. That is, you've searched the Internet for references to yourself. We've all done it, and it's healthy. It's normal. At least that's what Joycelyn Elders says.
August 6, 2002
A transcript of the special session, day 1: As Nevada's Gang of 63 convened in Carson City, here's an educated guess about what happened.
July 30, 2002
Can you hear the screams?: All over the country, people are freaking out upon getting their quarterly 401(k) statements. Is this idiot stock market ever going to turn it around?
July 23, 2002
Hot enough for ya? Neener neener!: It reached 108 one day last week in Reno, while it only got up to 106 in Las Vegas, where I live. Yes, it was time to rub that fact in to my readers up north.
July 16, 2002
High-level art used for high-level waste: The plans for Yucca Mountain hit home to me when I saw a rendering of what the signage will look like after the dump is filled and isolated. In a serious way, it made me wonder: What are we doing to ourselves?
July 9, 2002
Having a ball with the media during a tragedy: So a daily newspaper in Denver prints an enormous front-page photo with a guy in which it appears a testicle is hanging out. The paper says it was a shadow; the guy says it was one of his boys. Whatever.
July 2, 2002
Terrorists suck; they should be whacked: It all started when a guy claimed he overheard terrorists while he was on his cell phone. All of a sudden, there's a media circus, a ranting mayor and moist underwear.
June 25, 2002
When a relationship goes up in smoke: A Colorado fire that destroyed dozens of homes and burned hundreds of thousands of acres was apparently started by a woman scorned. Yet another case of love psychosis rears its ugly head.
June 18, 2002
Two prime examples of journalistic suckage: There are times I am embarrassed to be a journalist. But, hey, it beats being a poodle molester.
June 11, 2002
Where, exactly, is the West Wing, Joe Tooter?: Topics in this batch of made-up reader letters concern the location of the West Wing, Las Vegas weather and the name Patty Poodlewacker.
June 4, 2002
The turning point in the Yucca fight: Babe's farmer: Nevada's senators and members have been doing all they can to stop nuclear waste from coming to Yucca Mountain, even bringing in people like James Cromwell and Ed Begley Jr. to speak out against it. Two words: Nevada's screwed.
May 28, 2002
A comprehensive guide to Nevada political parties: Did you know that there are eight officially recognized political parties in Nevada? Did you know there's such a thing as the Emigration Party? We address these questions, as well as others, using at least two references to "hog snot."
May 21, 2002
Examining that 'natural male enhancement' commercial: Yet another shocking commercial has hit the airwaves, and this one is talking about "natural male enhancement." Here's what I learned about this ad. Call it a growing experience.
May 14, 2002
New wheels, new payments and new anxiety: After last week's car experiences, I got to thinking. And that led to me getting a new car. Read all about it in this special weekend column.
May 12, 2002
Adjusting cautiously to the unfamiliar vehicle: I was in Reno for the weekend while my car stayed behind in Las Vegas. That meant I was behind the wheel of Mom's car. I am glad to announce that there were only several near-miss major accidents.
April 30, 2002
Do these animals know something we humans don't?: Wolves hungry for ice cream. Pooches hungry for cash. Turkeys hungry for revenge. This is my version of "When Animals Attack."
April 23, 2002
People who just need to go away: Stupid people. People who like daylight "savings" time. People who are attacked by bunnies. They all just need to get outta here.
April 16, 2002
This is why journalists like to drink a lot: In this series of imaginary viewer letters, we discuss newspaper errors and briefly revisit the previous Celine Dion column.
April 9, 2002
A plan to stop Nevada's growth: Celine Dion: In the spirit of April Fools' Day, I wrote a fake news story about a secret government plot to curtail Nevada growth. The headline says it all.
March 26, 2002
Fear and loathing in public restrooms: I was watching a basketball game at a sports bar when I had to use the restroom. That inspired this column-rant.
March 19, 2002
These people deserve a dodge ball to the head: There is a growing movement across the country to ban dodge ball because, well, it's a mean and nasty game. Gimme a break!
March 12, 2002
TV offers many harmless, yet embarrassing pleasures: OK, I admit it: I love dorky old shows such as "The Golden Girls" and "Match Game." Call them my TV guilty pleasures.
March 5, 2002
Tales of glowing groins and inane headline writers: In this batch of made-up letters, topics include black light issues and Olympic annoyances.
February 26, 2002
Time for another channel-surfing adventure: Time for yet another journey through TV channels; this time, things go horribly wrong.
February 19, 2002
The attorney general and the hooter-baring statue: This column is newsworthy because I actually say nice things about George W. Bush. But before that, I discuss what a dolt his attorney general is.
February 12, 2002
Tales of bingo robberies and prostitute on-the-job safety: Yet more unbelievable news stories involving a group of seniors who wouldn't let a little armed robbery stop their bingo game, and government safety regulations for Australian hookers.
February 5, 2002
Paranoia reigns until the insurance kicks in: All was dandy until I got the sore throat. But now, because I am uninsured, I am freaking out.
January 29, 2002
Pretzels, groundhog terrorism represent national threats: The news events of the week: The world reacts to George W. Bush's pretzel mishap, and groundhogs are apparently potential terrorist targets, too. Please avoid shooting beverages out your nose.
January 22, 2002
Fondly missing that beautiful Reno-Sparks traffic: After six weeks as a Las Vegas area resident, I have decided that Truckee Meadows drivers are delightful in comparison to the cretins in Southern Nevada.
January 15, 2002
The uniquely Nevada issue of legalized prostitution: A recent newspaper article got me thinking about legalized prostitution and the ethical issues behind this distinctively Nevadan industry. Here are those thoughts.
January 8, 2002
Time for yet some more Top 10 lists: Around every New Year's, the media floods the country with inane, repetitive Top 10 lists. Well ... here are some more!
January 2, 2002
The bad weather conspiracy against me: All my life, I've experienced bad weather almost every time I took a road trip. I used to think it was just a coincidence. Now, I am not so sure.
December 18, 2001
Donuts and Sinatra slots vs. pirates and warlords: Warlords and pirates are making news in other parts of the world. In Northern Nevada, the big news: Krispy Kreme's opening. Sing after me: It's a weird world aaaafter aaall...
December 11, 2001
Shopping tips on dealing with seasonal help: This week, in part two of my holiday shopping tips series, I dispense knowledge on how to deal with temporary holiday workers. Be very afraid.
December 4, 2001
Some tips for the festive holiday shopping season: Thanksgiving is in the rear-view mirror, and the December holidays are rapidly approaching. That means it's time to shop! I weigh in with some of my very own Truckee Meadows shopping tips.
November 27, 2001
Filing for unemployment: a full-time job: I tried to file for unemployment benefits using the state of Nevada's phone system. But I didn't have 2 1/2 hours to wait on hold.
November 20, 2001
Local luminaries square off in 'Truckee Meadows Survivor': My Aug. 22, 2000 column about an imaginary Truckee Meadows version of "Survivor" proved to be one of my most talked-about columns ever. Here is a follow-up to that column, with a whole new group of castaways.
November 13, 2001
Imaginary letters regarding the November Classic: I answer yet more made-up letters from readers. This batch of fake mail all has to do with the amazing 2001 World Series.
November 6, 2001
Living life waiting for 'Candle in the Wind': I was able to attend Elton John's concert in Reno. It was the first big-time concert I had ever attended, and I learned I've been missing a lot -- domestic squabbles, women in skimpy attire, etc. -- by not attending such concerts.
October 30, 2001
Becoming a victim of the icky economy: Sept. 11 and the poor economy led to a pink slip for me. But word got out around the office about the impending canning before I was actually canned -- leading to some interesting behavior on the part of my sympathetic co-workers.
October 23, 2001
Can you show me how to get to Bangladesh?: Bert, of "Sesame Street" fame, popped up on anti-American protesters' signs, right next to Osama bin Laden, in Bangladesh. Seriously. I examine the issue.
October 16, 2001
From cold to cake in a few easy steps!: A chain of events in my life started with me going to a football game while sick. It ended with a wired, itchy me making a cake. Go figure.
October 9, 2001
Reading the world the other way: I was with a group of friends one night at a casino coffee shop. We were all tired, and I unintentionally came up with a weird backwards word game that has occupied my mind ever since.
October 2, 2001
The importance of defending freedom at all costs: The world is different since Sept. 11 -- just watch how late-night talk shows are dealing with things. But despite these differences, we must uphold what makes America great: freedom.
September 25, 2001
Floating over Reno, freaking out pooches: This column, which was supposed to run Sept. 11 but didn't because of the horrors of that day, is about my experience going up in a hot air balloon during the Great Reno Balloon Race.
September 18, 2001
Flying marriage proposals and sexual propositions: I've seen everything from marriage propositions to sexual propositions on airline flights this summer. What's the deal?
September 4, 2001
College is in session, and I feel old: It has been a full four years since I started college. This means a whole group of students has started and graduated since my university days. Goodness!
August 28, 2001
Time to answer mail -- the non-fake kind: While I have written many columns about fake letters over the years, here's a first: a column about real letters.
August 21, 2001
Checks certifying moral and logical bankruptcy: While I have expressed my views on George W. Bush's incompetence before, this whole tax refund scheme has really got my figurative goat.
August 14, 2001
The amazing, incredible, tiny all-at-once bathroom: I recently stayed with a college friend who has an apartment featuring what is believed to be the smallest bathroom in the state of California.
August 7, 2001
Mission: impossible means throwing a clean bachelor party: For the third time in my life, I was recently involved in a nontraditional bachelor party -- no booze, no naked women, no misbehavin'. Well, maybe there was a little misbehavin' ...
July 31, 2001
Viewer mail answered in between coughing fits: The columns that I have to write every so often when I'm ill are always weird. Having said that, this is one of my better writing efforts while sick ... not that THAT is saying much.
July 24, 2001
T-shirts, ralphing episodes and vials between headlights: I was fortunate enough to go to New Orleans for a newspaper convention. There, I saw things -- weird things, alarming things, astounding things -- that I will never forget.
July 17, 2001 (Version in July 20, 2001 Las Vegas Mercury)
The reason why I had bird seed down my pants: I was stunned by what I saw -- and what I learned about the Biggest Little City -- when I went to a special showing of "The Rocky Horror Picture Show."
July 10, 2001
Things to avoid when dealing with editors: I work as the editor of the Reno News & Review as my full-time gig. And you would not believe how some people act like dorks when dealing with editors. Here, I get it off my chest. It was therapeutic.
July 3, 2001
Yet another batch of fearless, senseless predictions: Every year (at least the ones from 1998 to 2001), I get out my wise-ass crystal ball and make predictions about the future of Sparks for the annual "Looking to the 21st Century" special issue. Here's what happened this year (2001).
June 29, 2001
Finding a whole new culture at the gym: People act differently at the gym. They run around naked, and social status is thrown out the window. It's a whole different culture.
June 26, 2001
Square watermelons and Homer Simpson immortalized: "Doh" is in the dictionary, and they're making square watermelons in Japan that cost $82. What the hell is wrong with this world?
June 19, 2001
Legislature shows it's time to split up Nevada: It was a tough 2001 Legislature for Northern Nevada, which was royally Perkinsed (I explain in the column). Is it time for Nevada to split into two?
June 12, 2001
The pros and cons of growing facial hair: About two weeks ago, I decided to grow a mustache and goatee. It's been quite an experience.
June 5, 2001
A close encounter with Marilyn and Carol: It's amazing that one can wake up in the morning and have no clue whatsoever that, by the end of the day, a man in a dress, trying to like Marilyn Monroe and pulling it off quite impressively, will be sitting on one's lap.
May 29, 2001
The dot-com collapse is not funny for everyone: The collapse of numerous Internet companies has some people laughing -- and others picking up the pieces of broken dreams.
May 22, 2001
Power crisis demonstrates geographical divisions, so there: The power problems in California are highlighting the fact that geographical divisions -- like the state line between California and Nevada -- really do matter, even if these lines aren't literal. Yes, this is a humor column, even if it sounds serious. I promise.
May 15, 2001
Freeway repairs, sneeze guards and Bea Arthur: I answer some more made-up letters. Special guest stars in this column include Janet Reno, Björk and the Nevada Department of Transportation.
May 8, 2001
The phone company is trying to push us toward war: When the phone company introduced caller ID, it was the first step toward all-out phoning Armageddon. Really.
May 1, 2001
Doing the skinny while dodging enormous hair balls: In this column, I pay tribute -- sort of -- to that mainstay of American journalism: The Weekly World News.
April 24, 2001
Cargo holds, baseball players and midgets, oh my!: Straight from the headlines to you, this column examines some of the weirder news items of the last week. This led to two of the most ridiculous sentences I have ever written, which finish up my column. Enjoy!
April 17, 2001
The kick without enough arch that got the Arch: This really happened: A some young men line up for a field goal on Virginia Street. Their "uprights": the Reno Arch. Let's just say the kick was a bit low.
April 10, 2001
Going to the psychic faire and going psycho: My friend Christina dragged me to a recent psychic faire. After a bout with toe rings, tarot cards and clueless psychics, I needed therapy.
April 3, 2001
Sign up today for shows like 'Yaks of the Serengeti': Several times a year, your local public television station holds high-pressure pledge drives. And they're all the same, no matter what city you're in.
March 27, 2001
Time to kill off Spring Break; it's Springer's fault: I was stuck at home during a snowstorm just a few weeks back, and I saw something that convinced me it is time to abolish Spring Break for college students. Read the column, and I promise you'll come to the same conclusion.
March 20, 2001
Random rants in celebration of March Madness: This is more of a sports column than anything else, but what the hell. It's March, and I am suffering from madness over UNLV, Rick Pitino and other hoops-related issues.
March 13, 2001
The train trench debacle and the debacle who's president: It's time for a column of made-up letters and my replies. You can guess the topics from the headline.
March 6, 2001
Comparing the dance clubs: country vs. alternative: In an effort to try to understand dancing better, I visited Reno's most prominent country dance club and Reno's most prominent gay dance club. It would turn out to be a futile effort.
February 27, 2001
Failing to understand the 'logic' of PETA: The members of People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals seem to have their hearts in the right place. Now, if only their brains were in the right place ...
February 20, 2001
It's raining outside. Now it's sunny. Now snow... : The weather was gorgeous a few weeks back. Now, it's snowing. I think Mother Nature is being mean. I want it to be SPRING!
February 13, 2001
Tugging at an important issue for certain men: An article at Salon.com had me literally shouting out in horror. What was this article about? I'll give you a clue: it involves plastic Easter eggs, suspenders and a very private part of the male anatomy. You've been warned.
February 6, 2001
Time for another trip around the television set: I take another jaunt around the telly with the remote control, and I find the programs -- including "Friends," "Survivor: The Australian Outback," and ESPN college basketball -- to be weird and alarming.
January 30, 2001
The next place for corporate sponsorships: politicians: Corporate ads and sponsorships are everywhere these days, from sports stadiums to football college bowl games to episodes of "Friends." Well, I think it's about damn time the last frontier of corporate sponsorships is reached: elected officials.
January 23, 2001
Phone book covers worse than those Laub & Laub ads: I once again answer fake letters, addressing such topics as licking, those Laub & Laub phone book ads, porn Web sites and Tattoo from "Fantasy Island."
January 16, 2001
If catnip is legal, then marijuana should be, too: My sweet little cat turned into a maniacal terror during his first -- and, if I have anything to say about it, last -- experience with catnip. Why is this "herb" legal when others (i.e. cannabis) aren't?
January 9, 2001
What do club cards and Björk monsters have in common?: You want to simply go into a store and buy an item at an advertised price. But no -- you need a club card first. EVIL!!!
January 2, 2001
Looking to history to explain the stupid calendar: Have you ever wondered why some months have 30 days, why others have 31, and why February is a total mutant? Me too. So, I did a little research.
December 26, 2000
The lack of patient dignity in modern medicine: People are getting buried before they're dead. Men are being given forms saying throat biopsies will make them sterile. And what the @#%$ is with those drafty medical gowns? Modern medicine is certainly not always patient-friendly.
December 19, 2000
If these are signs of the times, we're screwed: There have been some crazy signs sighted around town lately. Here's a recap.
December 12, 2000
Would you like fries with that chicken head?: This headline pretty much says all that needs to be said. Read on -- that is, unless you're eating.
December 5, 2000
The amazing power and humor of words: Certain words are funny, for some mysterious reason. Chads. Pants. Boaters. Boaters?
November 28, 2000
Trying to lose weight during holidays? Good luck!: I recently started an exercise and diet program in an effort to lose a few pesky pounds. Man, is my timing bad.
November 21, 2000
The aftermath of the "Schmeineke" column: I received a registered letter following the Oct. 10 column. Here is what transpired. Don't worry; it's a good thing.
November 14, 2000
What's with all the goofy campaign mug shots?: Did you see all the weird political mug shots this year? What messages are these candidates trying to send?
November 7, 2000
Nevada gets its moment in the political sunshine: The week before the election, Nevada is being visited by major campaigners for both presidential candidates. Is this weird or what?
October 31, 2000
E-mail spam is neither wonderful nor lovely: I got an e-mail hawking herbal Viagra last week -- 400 times. Yes, folks, I was spammed.
October 24, 2000
Send a 7-11 somewhere to decrease the deficit: There are three 7-11 stores within 1.5 miles near my house. I say we export them, along with small, annoying dogs and apostrophes, to another country.
October 17, 2000
Yes, you WILL pay a lot for that muffler: I took my car in for some repairs at one place; the people there said it would cost $1,400 to fix. The second place? They said $400. Why are the difference? It comes down to honesty vs. the art of the screw.
October 10, 2000
It's time to de-worm some U.S. Senate candidates: The John Ensign -- Ed Bernstein race for the U.S. Senate is getting ugly. Make it STOP!!!
October 3, 2000
Those animatronic animals creeped me out: I had the pleasure of attending a birthday party at Reno's Chuck E. Cheese recently. And I've decided that their animatronic band is completely evil.
September 26, 2000
Taking a look back at the style of today: In 20 years, what will people think about the clothes and styles of today? Something tells me they'll be laughing. Uncontrollably.
September 19, 2000
Pronounce 'Nevada' correctly or else... : Folks from out of state can't pronounce "Nevada" correctly. I really learned this when I went off to college, and discovered how stupid some "smart" people can be.
September 12, 2000
Tips on making the electoral process more interesting: This primary election didn't have much going on, at least as far as Sparks residents were concerned. Therefore, I thought up some ways to spice up the trip to the polling place.
September 5, 2000
Now, what is the deal with that sign at AM/PM?: Without a doubt, this is one of the most immature, potty-humor-laden columns I've ever written. But after learning about the Pump Pass and Nads, I couldn't help it.
August 29, 2000
Who will win in 'Truckee Meadows Survivor'?: A day before the much-anticipated finale of "Survivor," I wonder: What would be a version of "Survivor," with Truckee Meadows well-knowns, be like?
August 22, 2000
My car is evil and it doesn't like me: My car has a tendency to run perfectly -- until I am doing something very important. Then, it breaks down. I am convinced this is because my car despises me.
August 15, 2000
Why it can be embarrassing not to pay attention: In this column that mysteriously ran on a Sunday instead of a Tuesday, I talk about how I ended up laughing harder than I had in months -- and how laughing can truly be the best medicine.
August 13, 2000
They call it sushi; don't argue about it: Being a Nevadan, you would not think I would be into sushi. But I am. Here, I explain why that is the case. I also extrapolate on why all people who claim that raw fish isn't sushi should blow it out their snout.
August 1, 2000
What is in the future for Sparks?: My third annual Sparks "predictions" column for the Tribune's "Looking to the 21st century" special issue.
July 28, 2000
The best vice president ever? Dan Quayle!: It's that special time of a presidential year, when everyone is all aflutter over the vice-presidential picks. I take this opportunity to tribute the best No. 2 man America's ever had -- J. Danforth Quayle.
July 25, 2000
I am a procrastinator, but I am never late: For some reason, I am a person who always waits until the last possible moment to do what needs to get done. But it gets done, and not a second late.
July 18, 2000
Looking at alternatives to washing the laundry: Laundry is an annoying thing that only humans have to deal with. Hey, at least we don't have to clean ourselves with our tongues like some animals.
July 11, 2000
Parking garages are the spawn of Satan himself: They're ugly, annoying and everywhere. They take up space. They seemingly encourage people to do stupid things. No, I am not talking about members of Congress; I'm talking about parking garages.
June 27, 2000
You can 'localize' a story a bit too much: Some local media outlets have a tendency to go overboard in their attempts to find local angles on stories. This drives me up a wall.
June 20, 2000
Making sure that stupid people don't breed: Time for more fake reader mail. This week's topics: stupid people and funny words.
June 13, 2000
What Larry Flynt, George W. Bush and Flea have in common: I spent four days at one of the nicest hotel/resorts anywhere -- and I found myself longing for a Motel 6.
June 6, 2000
A list of things to avoid doing in a large crowd: I recently attended a Little Richard concert (WOOOOOO!) which was wonderful. However, it could have been better had everybody followed proper crowd etiquette.
May 30, 2000
My favorite show was canceled, and I'm cranky: When ABC canceled "Sports Night," which is one of my favorite shows, I almost lost it. This got me thinking: Why do we get so attached to TV shows anyway?
May 23, 2000
Battling the oppression of the Eastern time zone: The nation runs on Eastern time. "Saturday Night Live" isn't live here in the West, and I have to convert all the times from Eastern to Pacific on the sports page. This sucks!
May 16, 2000
Line dancing: One of the signs of the world's end: I have decided I hate line dancing. It is boring drone dancing done by people in jeans that are way too tight. And line dancers, in large groups, have even been known to stroke it. In public!
May 9, 2000
This new wave of commercials is far from 'perfec': In the history of commercials, business owners have often appeared in ads for their own companies. But in the Sparks-Reno area, these commercials have gone too far.
May 2, 2000
Exploring the taboo topic of the old-person smell: This column was two years in the making, as a previous Tribune editor wouldn't allow me to do it. At long last, here it is.
April 25, 2000
These PR folks have too much time on their hands: In the last week, I have received three press releases from the Pork Information Bureau. After delving into these releases, I was lead to a Web site called otherwhitemeat.com. It was one of the highlights of my life.
April 18, 2000
Those damn Beach Boys kept me from Regis: All that stood between me and a shot at "Who Wants to be a Millionaire" were five questions. Leave it to the Beach Boys to mess me up.
April 11, 2000
Why the time change should be history: Cranky because I lost an hour thanks to the time change, I vent my frustration.
April 4, 2000
A typical cruise around the good ol' TV set: A night at home watching television around these parts can be a frightening experience. Thank goodness for the remote control!
March 28, 2000
A stunning moment of introspection for Big Jim: After a phone call from a stranger, I realize that I can no longer deny a very important part of who I am.
March 21, 2000
Nevada needs to be more like New Hampshire: Nevada doesn't have a presidential primary, and I think this sucks. A frank discussion of this topic -- and the word "caucus" -- is what this column is about.
2000 Nevada Press Association award winner
March 14, 2000
Defending and criticizing the men in blue: After a University of Nevada baseball game, I ponder: Why do umpires get so much abuse? And why can't they admit it when they are wrong?
March 7, 2000
This column comes along only once every 14,000 years: I did a little math and discovered that a Tuesday on Feb. 29 in a millennium year is truly rare. In an unrelated vein, I also wonder: Why do some local police officers disrespect the law?
February 29, 2000
Lawyers can delay you from your cookies: Lawyers are responsible for a lot of stupid things. One example: those really, really stupid warning labels on some items. They're also the reason the cookies at Starbucks are always cold.
February 22, 2000
Looking at the weird presidential candidates: In this column, I ponder all the current candidates for the U.S. presidency. And Canada is looking nice this time of year.
February 15, 2000
Answering a bevy of those made-up letters: I take some time to answer reader mail that is completely made up. And I answer the question: What do Mickey Gilley and James Brown have in common?
February 8, 2000
Learning lessons about the female of the species: Being stuck in a car with four women for 10 hours gave me some insight into human females. Frightening insight.
February 1, 2000
A brief history of the Mapes Hotel, 1172-2000: In my own little way, I make tribute to the Mapes Hotel by making up a history for the former building which makes no sense whatsoever.
2000 Nevada Press Association award winner
January 25, 2000
Someone please find a psychologist for these teams: It's January. It's cold. It may even be snowing. And because I have apparent brain damage, I'm out playing softball.
January 18, 2000
Dancing to "The People's Court" theme music: An Internet site I recently discovered is packed with tons of 1980s TV show theme songs -- including a full-length version of "The People's Court" theme. Ah, rapture...
January 11, 2000
In-your-face preachers should be Bible-thumped: On a recent trip to Southern California, I ran across some Bible-thumping preachers. I was unimpressed.
January 4, 2000
Writing a humor column in several easy steps: I answer a fictitious letter from a made-up reader. In the process of explaining how I write a column, I answer the question: Is Jimmy really a drunk Martian squirrel?
December 28, 1999
Creak bang! Ah, the joys of apartment-style living: My upstairs neighbors are enjoying each other's company. That fine, but they're enjoying it a little too much.
December 21, 1999
Keeping the best perspective this Christmas season: In this semi-serious column, I ponder the true meaning of Christmas with the help of a friend who is no longer in America.
December 14, 1999
Please don't get overly friendly at the holiday wing-ding: At a corporate Christmas party I recently attended, some people went WAY overboard with a public display of affection.
December 7, 1999
Exploring the non-compliant brains of Y2K morons: I completely understand why some people are being cautious and preparing for possible Y2K problems. However, I can't understand how some people are being so stupid in their efforts to prepare.
November 30, 1999
If only they hadn't dropped the chalupa...: A really, really stupid football player and a famous Taco Bell commercial combine to make up one of the funniest news accounts in recent memory.
November 23, 1999
If Griffy goes to London, does Jimmy go to Titicaca?: Some local politicians are off spending taxpayer money, supposedly to promote the area. Can we go, too?
November 16, 1999
Another conspiracy theory: commie Smurfs!: It's a little known fact that the Smurfs, it seems, were actually a bunch of little communists.
November 9, 1999
The arrival of a cold means the departure of comfort: I hate colds. My bitterness about this topic shows in this column -- written as I come down with a cold.
November 2, 1999
The weird variety of little quirks that we all have: All of us have our little quirks, ranging from a desire to smell money to an involuntary sweating problem at McDonald's.
October 26, 1999
This is NOT the column of erectile dysfunction: This column covers two new topics: a ridiculous new commercial about penis problems; and buying jewelry at Super K-mart. The two topics aren't really linked, but who cares?
October 19, 1999
Cones, Flaggers and Detours: Ah, Construction!: Trapped in traffic while listening to a University of Nevada football game, I kind of snapped. Time to write a column.
October 12, 1999
Moving can make your car smell like Italian dressing: I hate moving. I really do. However, that's exactly what I found myself doing recently.
October 5, 1999
Some casinos reaching new levels of tackiness in the area: When it comes to the tackiness, a new neon sign and a new overgrown shed are plunging the area toward new lows.
September 28, 1999
One region, one vision, many motivations: The Reno Gazette-Journal publisher is leading an effort to come up with a community vision project. Shouldn't the paper worry about the news first?
September 21, 1999
A few classified ads we're expecting to see: Some political classified ads that we made up -- that seem all too real, in some cases.
September 14, 1999
Clip and save: tips for rib cook-off attendees: The Nugget Rib Cook-Off hits Sparks. As a veteran attendee, I offer my tips for the event.
September 7, 1999
Cell phone users and the proctologists who love them: There are places for cell phones, and there are places where they are inappropriate.
2000 Nevada Press Association award winner
August 31, 1999
Sit down, chill out, and have a carrot: A woman claims Bugs Bunny is sexist ... what if this woman moved to the Truckee Meadows?
August 24, 1999
Proof that karaoke can cause serious problems: A night at a sports bar that ends in karaoke disaster...
August 17, 1999
Moving along, but not moving very far away: My sappy farewell to the Tribune as an employee.
August 10, 1999
The dangers of becoming obsessed with an object: The obsessions people have with material goods can lead to some problems.
August 3, 1999
Looking into Sparks' crystal ball: My annual wise-ass predictions column for the Tribune's 21st century preview issue.
July 30, 1999
Contemplating humanity while in line at the DMV: My observations as I stood in line for 91 minutes.
July 27, 1999
Buffet 101: Lessons on all-you-can-eat dining etiquette: My answer to a fake letter seeking tips on buffet eating.
July 20, 1999
Gaining mental clarity while hiking in the wilderness: I confess to actually buying a Vanilla Ice CD in a column that is actually about hiking.
July 13, 1999
The rise and fall of Councilman Albright: A typo in the big local newspaper elevates a colleague of mine to elected office.
July 6, 1999
From bras to church, we all need to show respect: A follow-up to last week's column; a discussion of respecting the values and comfort of others.
June 29, 1999
Raising the bar on the level playing field where danger lurks: My discussion of journalism cliches, along with a separate, brief (HA!) item about a woman walking into Sears wearing only a bra above the waist.
June 22, 1999
Finding the American Dream at a graduation: A sappy piece about the graduation of a friend, and how the graduation represented what America is all about.
June 15, 1999
Another election down... Whoops! Another one! AGAIN???: Exactly what it says...
June 8, 1999
The emotional dilemmas we must face while doing laundry: I vent about the issues I face every time I have to do freaking laundry.
June 1, 1999
Down by 23: Watching the carnage from right field: I am manager of a softball team, and I write about a game that was not going so well.
May 25, 1999
A stylebook to understanding why journalists like booze: I mock the Associated Press styleguide, a journalist's right-hand companion -- and worst nightmare.
May 18, 1999
Tell us what you think is goofy about the area: I ask readers to write in and tell me what they think is weird in Northern Nevada. I did not write a follow-up, because only several people wrote in.
May 11, 1999
A day at the ballpark -- with middle-schoolers: On vacation, I go to an Oakland Athletics baseball game. The American Pastime has never seemed so weird.
May 4, 1999
SQUEAK SQUEAK PUTTER RATTLE -- Jimmy's here!: An ode to my old, dying car.
April 27, 1999
The new Burger King is a real whopper, folks... In Reno, the prototype of a new Burger King opens; here is my take on the new Home of the Whopper.
April 20, 1999
Suspects abound in Sparky's disappearance: Sparky the Tribune Trout, the lovable plastic mascot of the Tribune newsroom, seriously disappears; he has not been seen since. This is a list of the suspects in his mysterious demise.
April 13, 1999
Softball season is here! Bring out the beer: My attendance at a softball managers' meeting motivates me to hit the suds.
April 6, 1999
Trying to understand why humans find pain to be funny: I often find myself laughing at pain -- like all humans do. Why do we laugh at something that, logically, shouldn't be funny?
March 30, 1999
I guess the government really needs my $212: As I prepare to send in my income tax check, I ponder what how much the government really needs that money.
March 23, 1999
Sparky the Tribune Trout for mayor in 1999: The launching of Sparky the Tribune Trout's ill-fated campaign to become mayor.
March 16, 1999
Watching out for the Girl Scouts and those cookies: After this column ran -- theorizing that cookie-selling girl scouts may be evil -- I received free cookies. Good stuff!
March 9, 1999
Capitalism: It's here to stay, so let's deal with it: Some people feel chain bookstores are bad. I, personally, think those people are morons.
March 2, 1999
A disgusting lesson in being a doer rather than a watcher: A bad experience at a Burger King led to this column, as well as a moral dilemma.
February 23, 1999
What will the media cover now, post-impeachment: The impeachment drama of Bill Clinton finally ends. What, oh what will the media ever do?
February 16, 1999
Valentine's Day: Is it evil, or is it excellent: It's time yet again for Valentine's Day. I debate the pros and cons of this supposed holiday.
February 9, 1999
The evil demon cold from hell strikes again: Everyone around here has been stricken with a terrible cold. This gives me a chance to use the phrase "serious booger" in a column.
February 2, 1999
Sheepish about dips who say 'THE paper': My editor, his wife and I recently attended a performance of "Sheep Dip," a local political parity. I'm not sure what was worse -- the buffet we ate at before hand, or the fact that the Tribune was insulted.
January 26, 1999
Violence on the roadways becoming all the rage: I was a bit peeved when a Les Nessman-lookalike flipped me off one day because I did something nice for him on the roadways. Here, I vent.
January 19, 1999
I really don't care if you're having that 'not so fresh' feeling: Bob Dole discussing Viagra. Women discussing "freshness" on the beach. And what exactly are the "certain sexual side effects" of those pills? Ah, TV commercials are getting out of hand...
1999 Nevada Press Association award winner
January 12, 1999
Going to the gym can be a very sadistic experience: I hadn't visited the gym for a while, and when I finally returned, things actually went better than I expected. That is, until I woke up the next morning.
January 5, 1999
Laughing and crying while looking back at 1998: In this somewhat sappy column, I look back on all that happened to myself and the community in 1998. Grab a hanky...
December 29, 1998
Some gifts I'd like to see given this Christmas: Here's my wishful-thinking Christmas shopping list. What would I buy a number of community officials and leaders if I could?
December 22, 1998
Jimmy debates: Should Clinton be impeached?: I started off writing this unsure whether Clinton deserved to be impeached for the whole Lewinsky thing. In the column, I debated myself -- and came up with a conclusion which surprised me.
December 15, 1998
Annoyed by telemarketers? Get even!: Of all the humor columns I've ever written, this has to be my favorite. Here it is, the infamous telemarketer column.
1999 Nevada Press Association award winner
December 8, 1998 (Version in July 27, 2001 Las Vegas Mercury)
Twas The Night Before Hometowne Christmas: I penned this for the Tribune's annual Hometowne Christmas issue. It proved to be very popular.
December 3, 1998
Tips from a retail worker on how to be a good shopper: This has to be one of my most bitter columns. It was the result of working the two busiest weeks of the year in retail.
December 1, 1998
Thanksgiving: A time of year to be thankful: It's Thanksgiving, and I list what I was thankful for. Some of them are serious; others are funny (but serious, too).
November 24, 1998
'Tis the season for rudeness in shopping, fa la la la la...: A column about the dangers of working in retail during the holiday shopping season. Note this column is nowhere as bitter as the one two weeks later.
November 17, 1998
Domestic violence: a shattered picture of a young family: After witnessing a domestic-violence incident, my image of a young family is shattered. There is no humor in this column, but it's one I'm proud of.
November 10, 1998
No more ads! No more ads! Election Day is here!: After a particularly heinous election year, at least as far as campaign ads go, it's time to celebrate.
November 3, 1998
Fearless, senseless predictions for the Rail City's next 100 years: My first predictions column. This appears annually (well, at least it has the last two years) in the Tribune's "Looking to the 21st century" issue. The column is always popular. I'm not sure why.
1999 Nevada Press Association award winner
September 29, 1998
The outdated names of Reno can lead to confusion: Gemco. Clarion. The MGM. "B" Street. You know what I'm talking about if you've been around Reno for a while. Also, I say farewell (temporarily) to my column.
June 16, 1998
Typos -- A jurnalist's werst nghtmare: They are truly what every journalist dreads -- mistakes in their stories. And the word "public" is especially dangerous.
June 9, 1998
Remembering all the good when faced with evil: This is a serious one. Being a crime reporter will inevitably get to the most optimistic of souls. But it is important to remember the good in the world during these times.
June 2, 1998
Wedding whispers -- what everybody was thinking: This column got me in serious trouble with some people, but it is completely true -- it's about what everybody was thinking at my best friend's wedding. And they weren't thinking about the wedding cake.
May 26, 1998
Silver Legacy needs to get in touch with reality: Downtown Reno's Silver Legacy Hotel-Casino claims it was established in 1895; in reality, it was established in 1995. Why do I have a problem with this? Call me anal-retentive.
May 19, 1998
Except for a few bugs, Sparks theatre (sic) is great: In this column about the then-new theater in Sparks, I mention Les Nessman, farting gorillas and the gross national product of Argentina.
May 12, 1998
Gaming is what Nevada's all about: When I went off to college, the supermarkets were all weird -- because they had no video poker machines inside. It's the truth: Nevada and gaming are linked in ways outsiders can't understand.
May 5, 1998
Did you ever have a bad face day? : My column's mug shot is sort of weird now -- but you should have seen the mug shot we ran before for one week. It was alarming, and it caused pregnant women to go into premature labor.
April 28, 1998
Nevada's history may get lost in the shuffle: At the end of every column, I mention that I am a fifth-generation Nevadan. I explain here why that is important to me.
April 21, 1998
I like the show so much, I named my cat Beavis: I am a fan of the show, "Beavis and Butt-head. I have a blond, rambunctious cat, and I named him Beavis. Does this constitute kitty abuse?
April 14, 1998
Keep those cards and letters coming: A moron wrote the Tribune a letter criticizing two stories: One I did about policeman, and one a colleague wrote about a senator. He didn't like them because the articles actually had positive elements. This letter-writer, I repeat, is a moron.
April 7, 1998
Nevada politics get down and dirty: This is a serious column. I was ticked off because the Nevada Republican party was being "misleading" (i.e. lying) about an initiative petition they were passing around at the time. Note: The initiative never made it to the ballot. Hee hee hee.
March 31, 1998
March madness may be more than a temporary disorder: The basketball team of my alma mater, the Stanford Cardinal, is in the Final Four. I am beside myself with joy -- a joy that only a true sports fan can understand.
1998 Nevada Press Association third-place award winner
March 24, 1998
Respect shouldn't be reserved for elders: An incident in a parking lot makes me think about the belief that we should automatically respect our elders. After all, shouldn't we respect everyone?
1998 Nevada Press Association third-place award winner
March 17, 1998
Keep your labels to yourself, thank you: Ah, my first ever column. By way of introduction, I talk about how I am neither liberal nor conservative -- just Jimmy. I just wish some of my friends -- and many others -- would stop using stupid political labels so much.
1998 Nevada Press Association third-place award winner
March 10, 1998
All columns copyright Jimmy Boegle, and may not be used without written permission.