Twas The Night Before Hometowne Christmas
And all through the Rail City
Sparks residents read the Tribune
Debating whether Ann Landers is pretty.
The decorations were hung
on Victorian Square with great care
Anticipating the crowds
To see the parade happening there.
The gamblers around Sparks
Spent money on slots and keno
In hopes of maybe winning
A six-pack at Baldini's casino.
And me with my notebook,
A pencil and a Mr. Pibb
I had just settled down
To write some articles for the Trib'.
When out by the proposed fountain
There arose such a clatter
I ran outside past the Silver Club
To see what was the matter.
When all of a sudden,
My worst fears were realized true:
Someone had taken all the decorations
From Victorian Square, boo hoo!
The residents gathered;
SPD officers didn't have a lead
Everyone started to realize
Hometowne Christmas was in need.
When what
Did the gathering crowd soon hear?
But a loud broadcaster's voice!
And soon did six people appear!
Because of his voice
I soon recognized the fellow
Whose voice I had heard --
It had to be Mayor Breslow!
"Now, Henderson, now Salerno,
Now Armstrong and Zive,
Throw in John Mayer,
Our city council numbers five!
The city of Reno
Is responsible," Breslow yelled.
"They're jealous of Sparks!
Their efforts must be quelled!"
And with that was an army
Of Sparks citizens quickly assembled
Their goal: return the ornaments
With fear, their hearts trembled
Led by Mayor Breslow
The Army marched towards Reno;
Looking for the decorations
They searched every casino.
The Eldorado, Circus Circus
Fitzgeralds, the Sands
But they couldn't find the decorations
With frustration they wrung hands
About to give up
The Sparks army was down
Cheered up not even by Topsy
That dumb Circus Circus clown
But all of a sudden
A fishy voice would yell out,
"I found the decorations!"
Said Sparky the Tribune Trout.
The Army ran quickly
Following Sparky's little voice
They soon saw the decorations
Their hearts did rejoice!
It was inside the Silver Legacy
Under the big mining dome
That the city of Reno thieves
Had made the ornaments' home
In very short time
The decorations were collected
And returned just in time
That the parade was not affected.
And thus, because of the efforts
Of that heroic Rail City throng
Sparks Hometowne Christmas went on
As if nothing were ever wrong.
And from all of us here
who work at the Sparks Tribune site
Happy Holidays to all
And to all, a goodnight!
Jimmy Boegle, a fifth-generation Nevadan, is tired because he spent too long trying to come up with a word that rhymes with "Tribune." Motivated by Sparky the Tribune Trout, the newsroom's official mascot, Jimmy is a Tribune reporter who also writes a weekly column which appears Tuesdays.