Thanks to the Internet, there has been an incredible increase in conspiracy theories and the exposure that they receive. You name it; there are theories about it.
The trails left by jets in the sky are really chemicals dropped on us by the feds in an effort to control us, some people say. UFOs are really government spacecraft, some believe. JFK Jr. and Princess Di's deaths were not accidents, but rather successful assassinations, some theorists assert.
Heck, some extremely weird theorists even go as far to claim that Pat Buchanan is a legitimate presidential candidate. Imagine that!
Quite frankly, I think all of these conspiracy theories are right on par with most of the views held by Pat "the Nazis were not so bad" Buchanan--namely, they are hogwash. However, there is one that I really think has some legitimacy: The theory that the Smurfs were actually communists.
This theory truly exists in a number of places on the World Wide Web, and has actually been the subject of some very seriously written articles. Some people even go as far to claim that the Smurfs were a plot by the Soviet Union before its collapse to indoctrinate Western children with Marxist ideals; I do not believe that, but I do believe the Smurfs' creator, Belgian cartoonist Pierre "Peyo" Culliford, was looking toward Mr. Marx's (and I ain't talking Groucho or Harpo here) beliefs when he was doing the cartoon. There are just too many similarities between the Smurf Village and a so-called communist utopia.
Consider:
-- The Smurfs lived in a community without money or any material possessions, and all worked for the common good. They all had a job, and none was more important that another. They all were basically the same in their dress and social status.
-- Their leader, Papa Smurf, was more of a first-among-equals type of leader than anything else, who led because of his age and wisdom. And he wore a red hat.
-- Their enemy, the evil Gargomel, wants to turn the Smurfs into gold -- the symbol of wealth, consumption and money. And that's all Gargomel ever does; his existence consists solely of chasing after the Smurfs.
So, what does all of this mean? That Peyo, who died in 1994, was a tool of the USSR? That the Smurfs should not be watched by any kids in Capitalist societies, for fear that they'll smear goop on their heads to make it look like they have a birthmark like Mikhail Gorbachev? That some people who publish theories on the Internet have way, way too much time to think about such random crap?
My opinion would be "no" on all of those accounts, with the exception of that last one. My generation grew up watching the Smurfs, and I am proud to report that we members of Generation X are just as greedy and capitalist as everyone else. Obviously, if the message of the Smurfs was that we should all become little Marxists, the message fell on deaf ears.
Instead, the messages that go through to us kids, it seemed, was the exact opposite: that we want stuff! Think about all of the cartoons and television shows served as 30-minute commercials since the Smurfs hit the airwaves. The Power Rangers, Teletubbies, Barney, Transformers, Cabbage Patch Kids -- billions of dollars were spent on toys and merchandise related to these television shows.
And, if I remember correctly, I know that the Smurfs were not completely communist either -- there were oodles of Smurf toys and items made and sold in the show's heyday. So, the Smurfs were communists who had a little business on the side. Interesting.
Basically, it comes down to the fact that Smurfs were communists -- and harmless commies at that. Now, if only Pat Buchanan was so harmless...
Jimmy Boegle is a fifth-generation Nevadan who mysteriously finds himself singing the Smurfs theme song (Laa LA! La la la la. Laa la la la laaaa) as he buys stuff he can't really afford. Jimmy's column appears here Tuesdays. He can be reached via e-mail at jiboegle@stanfordalumni.org.