Journalists, as a species, are whacked. Let's face it: Who, in their right mind, would go into a low-paying profession that receives about as much respect from the public as poodle molesters get? NOBODY.
Therefore, it's safe to say that most journalists -- present columnists included -- need some serious mental help. Despite this severe handicap, most journalists manage not to completely suck most of the time. Yet, there are moments in which journalists do something so lame that they deserve to have their fingernails removed with firecrackers. Here are two such moments, both completely real, from respected news sources:
-- Our first example comes from German newsmagazine Der Spiegel. In its May 19 issue, Der Spiegel -- which, it should be noted, is extremely respectable, like Time or Newsweek, only better -- reported on a gargantuan gaffe committed by our president, George W. Bush.
Apparently, Bush and National Security Adviser Condoleezza Rice were in a meeting with Brazilian President Fernando Cardoso. Somehow, the topic of Africans came up, which led to Bush asking, quote, "Do you have Blacks, too?" Upon hearing this, Rice tried to bail out Bush by explaining to our leader that there are more blacks in Brazil than in America. After this, Cardoso commented that concerning Latin America, Bush was "still in the learning phase."
Let me again emphasize that I am not making this up or exaggerating this in any way. (If you can read German, check it out at www.spiegel.de/panorama/0,1518,196865,00.html.) And I think Der Spiegel rules for reporting on this. My question: WHY WASN'T THIS WIDELY REPORTED IN THE UNITED STATES? I am sorry, but I think it's big news when our president goes off and says something completely embarrassing like this. This lack of reporting sucks.
-- The second example of journalistic dumb-assedness concerns a little bit of amazing plagiarism, and was the subject of a story in the June 7 Los Angeles Times that had me rolling around on the floor.
The piece, by Henry Chu, a reporter in the Times' Beijing bureau, is headlined "Reeled in by a spoof, Chinese daily shrugs off error." And here's what happened: In the June 3 edition of the Beijing Evening News, a 1 million circulation paper, a news story reported that Congress was going to be moving out of Washington, D.C., unless a new Capitol building was built. The article, which cited Memphis, Tenn. or Charlotte, N.C. as possible moving destinations, even included a quote from House Speaker Dennis Hastert, E-Ill, saying that the Capitol needs more bathrooms and parking.
Ridiculous, eh? Well, it was reported as honest-to-goodness news in the Beijing Evening News. How the hell did this happen?
One of the newspapers' writers apparently found the article on The Onion Web site, and -- not realizing that the Onion is a parody newspaper -- rewrote it and submitted it for publication (such plagiarism, the article explains, is common in the cutthroat Beijing media market). The newspaper, of course, ran it, even including a fake artist's rendition (also lifted from The Onion) of a new Capitol building.
That's horrible and really hilarious all at once. But what's even more amazing is the reaction of the Beijing Evening News. Here are three paragraphs from the Los Angeles Times -- again, all for real:
Yu Bin, the editor in charge of international news, acknowledged Thursday that he had no idea where the writer, Huang Ke, originally got the story. Yu said he would tell Huang to "be more careful next time."
But he adamantly ruled out a correction and grew slightly obstreperous when pressed to comment on the article's total lack of truth.
"How do you know whether or not we checked the source before we published the story?" Yu demanded in a phone interview. "How can you prove it's not correct? Is it incorrect just because you say it is?"
Wow.
This is embarrassing for all journalists. I may have to consider another career now. Anything but poodle abusing.
Jimmy Boegle is a fifth-generation Nevadan who is so grateful for the Internet for bringing these stories to him. Jimmy's column appears here Tuesdays, and an archive may be viewed at www.jimmyboegle.com.