Welcome to my annual sports column, the one opportunity per year that I take to ramble about the things in sports that really tick me off. I know I can get away with writing such a column, because the editor of This Fine Newspaper is a sports junkie. And to all of my regular readers: If you happen not to like sports, I apologize and ask you to be nicer to the institute's wardens. Also, please understand that you have to wear those straight jackets for a reason.
Anyway, the first subject I will rant about is our state university to the south, often known as UNLV (which stands for the "University of NCAA and other Legal Violations"). What makes the officials at this university think that Rick Pitino or Rick Majerus or any other high-profile coach named "Rick" would want to coach there? They're acting like they actually have a basketball program that is going somewhere.
Well, they don't. UNLV was good once, about 10 years ago, when Jerry Tarkanian made the program one of the nation's elite by essentially running the team as a professional squad and allowing players to be paid. Of course, this is against NCAA rules, and therefore the team got in all sorts of trouble, and Tarkanian was given the harshest punishment possible from the NCAA: They made him live in Fresno.
Since Tarkanian's departure, the team has been the epitome of mediocre. Lately, the team has seen its conference, the Mountain West Conference, get really bad (ONE team made the NCAA tournament this year, and that was only because of the conference's automatic bid), and the UNLV team itself has been awful at times. Case in point: UNLV lost to Nevada this last year. Not to bash Nevada, which is an up-and-coming team, but why would ANY high-profile coach want to take over a team that is currently losing to Nevada?
I haven't even mentioned the fact that UNLV is again in deep trouble, on probation for yet more NCAA violations. Plus, every coach knows that the NCAA is going to be watching UNLV like Tad Dunbar watches a piece if chocolate cake. And if NCAA believes UNLV is guilty of anything from littering on up, they're going to pounce.
If I were UNLV officials, I would accept reality, and realize that a high-profile coach is nothing but a high-profile pipe dream.
And speaking of Rick Pitino, why is this man in so much demand right now? It seems like every school from UNLV to Louisville to Oxford wants the guy to come on board and be its basketball coach.
Answer me this: WHY? This is a man who took the Boston Celtics from mediocre to mediocre and cranky during his tenure as coach. His players hated him, and he essentially quit on them, mid-season, when he realized he COULDN'T make them into winners. And as evidence of how poor of a coach he is, consider this: When Pitino stepped down as coach, the Celtics were 12-22. Since then, heading into tonight's game against the Los Angeles Lakers, the team has gone 15-14 and is on the periphery of the playoffs chase.
THIS is a man in such high demand?
Yeah, I realize he was a big winner at Kentucky, but STILL: This man has an ego of such proportions that it makes Tad Dunbar look anorexic. And he clearly showed that he is not a "coaching genius" with his little NBA disaster. If I were an athletic director at a Division I school, Pitino would not make it on even a preliminary coaching prospects list.
But then again, I am NOT a Division I athletic director, and there is a reason for that.
Finally, I would like to take the opportunity to thank, as a Stanford University alumnus, the NCAA Tournament selection committee for placing Stanford in a bracket separate from Gonzaga and North Carolina, thereby giving completely new team a chance to knock the Cardinal out in the second round this year.
HAR! I am just kidding. Well ... at least I hope I am
Jimmy Boegle is a fifth-generation Nevadan who apologizes to Tad Dunbar for making fun of him this week; Jimmy promises to return to mocking George W. Bush next week. His (Jimmy's, not George W. Bush's) (because Jimmy is coherent occasionally) appears here Tuesdays, and a column archive may be viewed at www.JimmyBoegle.com.