Those wild and wacky legislators!


May 13, 2003

For the first time in years, I find myself observing the Nevada Legislature from a distance, and it's a damn shame, because the Nevada Legislature is freaking hilarious (usually unintentionally) on a regular basis.

And when I say "hilarious," I mean "so messed up it would be side-splittingly hysterical if these people weren't making DAY-TO-DAY DECISIONS THAT AFFECT ALL NEVADANS."

And the 2003 bunch is proving to be as "hilarious" as they come. Consider:

-- The session is in its final weeks, and nobody has any clue what, if any, taxes are going to be raised, or what, if any, services will be cut. The Democrats are behind the Republican governor, sort of, but the Republicans aren't at ALL. A gross receipts tax? An entertainment tax? A tax on morons who visit the state and pronounce it Ne-VAW-duh? Nobody knows! So what if our tax system is so messed up that the slightest economic downturn creates chaos? So what if a nonpartisan tax task force met for a year and examined the issue closely and came up with some amazingly decent conclusions? Well, our legislators say, "I don't have to listen to any of that!" Why? Because they're hilarious!

-- The legislators -- headed by Sparks' very own Bernie Anderson -- would much rather listen to tobacco lobbyists than anti-cancer groups and that pesky thing we call the general public. Case in point: In both Washoe and Clark counties, voters in 2002 overwhelmingly said they think the control over tobacco-related issues -- i.e. whether people can smoke in schools, restaurants, grocery stores, etc. -- should be held at the city/county level. Well, this should make things simple, right? Nope. The bills that would do this were essentially killed, thanks in large part to Anderson, who -- as chair of the Assembly Judiciary Committee -- railroaded the testimony during hearings to favor the pro-tobacco goons. I quote from the Reno News and Review's Deidre Pike:

(At the March 18 hearing), of the 20 individuals signed up to speak in favor of the bills, only four were given time to speak. Three high-school students who were prepared to speak in favor of stricter rules in their schools were not able to testify. On the other hand, of the seven individuals who’d signed up to speak against the bill, all were given time to discuss the perils of increased regulations on second-hand smoke.

Lovely. What a wonderful example for Mr. Anderson, a teacher, to send: Democracy's great, as long as you represent a huge, cancer-promoting corporation that also happens to give gobs of cash to political candidates.

-- Things have gotten so out of whack, even the protesters are starting to act like idiots.

According to media accounts, a group of 30 or so protesters last week sniveled that the Gang of 63 was shirking its duties by taking some time away from the chambers for their annual softball game.

Oh good lord. I am the LAST person to stand up and defend the members of our Legislature, many of whom have the intelligence and ethics of peat moss. But this is stupid. Like 'em or hate 'em, our senators and assemblypeoples put in a lot of hours this time of year, and for protesters to have a snit about them taking a few hours off to play some ball is about as idiotic as it gets.

-- And then there's Mark Manendo, a Las Vegas Democratic assemblyman who, to phrase it lightly, is in deep shit. Here's a Reno Gazette-Journal account of what's going on:

A female intern for Assemblywoman Dawn Gibbons has said Manendo made vulgar and threatening comments to her. Gibbons, R-Reno, said Manendo, chairman of the Assembly Government Affairs Committee, asked her to help him get a date with the intern. When she wouldn’t, Gibbons said Manendo threatened to hold up one of her bills.

This is a bit of a sticky wicket, eh? I've met both Manendo and Gibbons, and I liked them both, so I have no idea what to make of this.

All I know is that this incident led to one of the funniest things I've read in recent memory. Discussing a recent legislative basketball game -- yes, this Legislature is a sporting bunch -- political commentator Jon Ralston made the following observation about Manendo's participation:

Mark Manendo made a few passes, but did not score.

Now that's funny. It goes to show that when the Nevada Legislature is in session, you HAVE to laugh.

It's either that -- or cry.

Jimmy Boegle is a fifth-generation Nevadan in exile in Arizona. His column appears here Tuesdays, and he can be reached via e-mail at jiboegle@stanfordalumni.org.

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