Over the past several months, the media has been absolutely smitten with the whole Clinton/Lewinsky mess. Pundits have been rambling on about the topic seemingly non-stop on MSNBC and CNN, as newspapers and news broadcasts have covered the event as if it were something important, like the O.J. Simpson trial.
With that lame joke aside, I must say in all seriousness: This event, unlike the O.J. Simpson trial/circus show, deserves the coverage. As the House moves forward this week with four articles of impeachment, the awful reality has been driven home: The presidency is at stake.
This brings me to the question literally on the minds of every caring U.S. citizen: Should Clinton be impeached? I can honestly say that as I write this, I don't know whether the man should be thrown out of office.
Therefore, I am going to have a little debate with myself here and try to come to some sort of conclusion. Maybe I will, maybe I won't. So, here I go...
Jimmy #1: Um... hi. How are you doing?
Jimmy #2: You dork! You should know. We're still the same person, you weirdo.
J #1: Oh, that's right. Anyway, I think Clinton should be impeached.
J #2: Well, I don't. I mean, what has the man done? At the root of the whole issue is the fact that he got oral sex from a woman who was not his wife.
J #1: Yeah, that's at the heart of the issue. But the fact is, he then proceeded to lie about it, under oath. That's a felony, bub.
J #2: Okay, that is true. But how many men, faced with the same set of circumstances, would also lie? It happens every day.
J #1: But the president is not a normal man. He is the leader of the free world, and he can't be committing felonies. He lied, just like Nixon did, and he tried to cover it up, just like Nixon did.
J #2: Now, wait a minute. Do not even dream of comparing Nixon to Clinton here. What Nixon did was far worse -- he helped arrange a break-in to find out Democratic secrets, and then tried to cover it up by destroying evidence and the like. Clinton got a blow job and put a cigar in his mouth that Lewinsky diddled herself with. And how did he try and cover it up? By hinting to some people not to talk about it? That's not much of a cover-up. These crimes are not even in the same ballpark, my friend.
J #1: Okay, I see your point. By the way, we're quite a handsome fellow. That mugshot doesn't do us justice.
J #2: Why, thanks.
J #1: Now back to the point of this whole thing... I see your point. It is stupid to compare Clinton's shenanigans to Nixon's blatant crimes. But this whole thing has embarrassed the country and made America a laughingstock; Clinton should pay.
J #2: He's embarrassed the country? How? When he appeared a few months ago in front of the United Nations, he got a standing ovation; sex scandals in other countries are not a big deal. Clinton hasn't embarrassed anybody, outside of Chelsea and Hillary. If anybody has embarrassed the country, it is Ken Starr and his ridiculous pursuit of the matter. He has it in for Clinton.
J #1: I agree with you... okay, maybe Clinton hasn't made America a laughingstock.
J #2: Oh, another thing: I believe Linda Tripp is just generally embarrassing.
J #1: Amen to that, Jimbo!
J #2: Anyway, the fact of the matter is that Clinton did some things he shouldn't have with Lewinsky, which by no means were crimes -- but then he lied about them. He lied, just like virtually every other president. Bush lied about no new taxes, and Reagan probably perjured himself when he said he didn't recall anything about the Iran-Contra scandal.
J #1: Correct. But does that make it OK for Clinton to lie under oath?
J #2: Well... no.
J #1: So, let's see what we learned here. The Clinton-Lewinsky scandal hasn't embarrassed America, and it can't even compare to the Watergate scandal.
J #2: Yeah.
J #1: And when Clinton lied, he was just doing what most other men caught with their pants down -- literally -- would do. And the fact that he lied, even under oath, is similar to what other recent presidents have done.
J #2: Correct.
J #1: But the undeniable fact of the matter is that Clinton still lied under oath, perjuring himself -- which is a felony. Which presidents simply can't get away with.
J #2: Yeah. And censure is basically getting away with it.
J #1: So, does this mean we're in agreement?
J #2: Yes, I think it does.
A president who has committed a felony while in office can't remain president, no matter how many excuses there are. Even though I will hate to see it happen, it is the right thing to do...
Clinton should be impeached.
Jimmy Boegle, a fifth-generation Nevadan, sadly can no longer claim to be one of the handful of columnists in this country who has not written about Clinton/Lewinsky. Jimmy's column appears here Tuesdays; he can be reached via e-mail at jiboegle@alumni.stanford.org.