Even before we are born, we are taught to respect our elders. From our first in-utero soccer practice, during which our mothers scream "stop kicking me" this lesson is grilled into our heads -- not surprisingly, by people who are older than us.
Well, an incident that happened to me a little while back in an Albertson's parking lot got me thinking (which is no small accomplishment). After giving this incident some thought, I have come to believe that this "respect your elders" policy may be misguided.
(Now, before you write me angry letters, hear me out. I mean read me out. Unless someone is reading this column to you.)
Anyway, I was going to the store to grab some lunch, and was driving down a row of parking spaces. In front of me, a Ford Bronco (not O.J.) began backing out of a space. Being the kind lad that I am -- also noting the fact that a Bronco is much larger than my little Chevy -- I stopped and let the Bronco pull out.
As I was stopped, I noticed the backup lights brighten on a Cadillac -- roughly the size of Connecticut -- in the space adjacent to my front passenger side door. And the car, driven my a man at least in his seventies, started pulling out. This, despite the fact that I was directly behind him.
Outside of throwing my car in reverse, which I probably did not have time to do, I had only one option: Honk my horn. I honked once, and the Cadillac still kept coming. I was getting a bit concerned, and I honked again. Thankfully, the elderly gentleman finally realized that, hello, there was a car directly behind him, and stopped. The Bronco pulled out and left; I pulled into a space; and the Cadillac and its driver meandered through the parking lot. I got out and headed for the store.
Story over? Nope.
As I walked in, a middle-aged man, probably in his forties, decided to enlighten me with his opinions on the goings-on in the parking lot. He looked at me, and sneered, "Some of us need to be more patient and respectful of our elders, don't we?"
My reply to this ignorance-spewing man was neither patient nor respectful. I was polite enough to keep the New York taxi driver language under the breath, but I did inform the guy that it would not have been very respectful to allow this man's Cadillac into my passenger seat. The elderly man's insurance would have went up, he may have been cited, and a wife or child probably would have yelled at him for not paying attention. How, I asked this idiot, would allowing that to happen have been respectful? The man did not answer.
Now, following a blanket "respect your elders" ideology, I would should have showed respect to this middle-aged man, as he had a good two decades on me in age. My question: Why should I have been respectful?
The fact is, some elders do not necessary deserve the respect of people, young or old. While this middle-aged man may have been having a serious brain-fart of a day, he lost my respect at least temporarily by being rude and dumb. He may, in general, have been a very respectful person. But what about people who hurt people younger than them, by abusing them or molesting them? There seem to be all too many such "elders" in this world today.
Instead, we should follow another ideology: Why don't we respect everybody, young or old, thin or fat, Siskel or Ebert -- unless they do something to lose that respect? That's a much better rule -- one that I feel the middle-aged man in the parking lot should have followed.
There also needs to be a fine line between respect and coddling. As an example, nobody has satisfactorily explained to me why, for example, people over a certain age aren't required to take driving tests. It is a fact that when we get older, certain motor skills go bye-bye. That's why there are no 53-year-olds in the NBA. But the elderly are still allowed to drive as long as they can pass an occasional eye test. For example, the behemoth Caddy driver that nearly had his car rudely mate with mine -- should he be driving? I don't know for sure, but my guess would be "no."
If everybody gave respect on an ageless system of assumed merit, I think we'd all be a lot better off. And it would save me the effort of thinking so much when I go to the store.
Jimmy Boegle, a fifth generation Nevadan, proudly considers himself to be a young whippersnapper. His column appears here Tuesdays.