Failing to understand the 'logic' of PETA


February 20, 2001

People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals ... is dedicated to establishing and protecting the rights of all animals. PETA operates under the simple principle that animals are not ours to eat, wear, experiment on or use for entertainment.
-- from the PETA Web site (www.peta.org)

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I didn't watch "Survivor" last Thursday, but apparently, something quite controversial happened that surprisingly had nothing to do with a pudgy gay man wandering around naked: The contestants on the show hunted and killed a pig.

This has animal groups in a feverish uproar. While I did not see the episode, and I therefore cannot comment on the exact incident, I can comment on how ludicrous some animal rights groups are acting in the wake of the episode.

Here is a quote from the People for the Ethical Treatment Animals Web site, located at www.peta.org: "It appears that ('Survivor' producer) Mark Burnett sent and contracted with people from the U.S. to go to Australia and, once there, commit an act or acts of animal cruelty that would be illegal in this country and most likely are illegal there. Many people have called to say that they are appalled and upset about the show and are going vegetarian as a result."

Riiiiiiiight. I can hear Mark Burnett talking with CBS about this very topic:

Burnett: Hey, I have a plan. "Survivor" got such amazing ratings for your network that I'd like to do another "Survivor," but this time I think we should set it in the Australian Outback.

CBS: Great idea! We'll pay you unptillions of dollars to do that!

Burnett: Wonderful. But this time, I really feel we should kill a pig. I need help finding people who are willing to commit an act or acts of animal cruelty.

CBS: Fantastic. Find the people, and then we'll send them and contract them for you!

Something tells me that no matter how awful and painful the death of this poor pig was, the PETA folks are going just a wee bit overboard with the rhetoric.

Don't get me wrong; I think some of the things that PETA fights for are admirable. People who abuse or neglect their pets should be punished; laboratory testing on animals should be avoided if there are other alternatives to such testing.

But on most of the other things that PETA fights for, I think its members are not thinking too clearly. To say that humans should not wear or eat animals is, frankly, moronic. People who, for health or other reasons, choose to avoid eating meat or wear animal pelts as clothing, should be respected -- just like people who choose to eat meat or wear animal pelts.

Consider the following facts:

1. People have teeth that are made for eating other animals, showing that nature or God or evolution or whoever/whatever designed humans intended for humans to eat other animals.

2. People have worn animals since there were people, because it's COLD SOMETIMES.

3. Humans themselves are animals.

4. Animals eat other animals. Heck, even the occasional human becomes lunch for animals such as sharks, bears or Leona Helmsley.

PETA members, while I am sure they are well-intentioned, need to stop hitting the bong so much and think for a minute. Unfortunately, this is a harsh, cruel world. This means that animals eat other animals, that there is pain for all creatures and that not everybody is going to get along.

It would be very interesting to see a PETA member trying to convince a bear to NOT chase that poor Bambi deer around because that deer "is not his to eat."

PETA member: Hey, Mr. Bear, leave that poor deer alone, he has rights, too.

Bear: Grrrr.

PETA member: Hey, don't growl at me. I have rights, too.

Bear: CHOMP.

Mark Burnett: Wow. Did we get that on camera? COOL. And we didn't even have to get the bear to sign a contract!

As sad and awful as that is, humans are just animals. Granted, we're animals that can think and make moral decisions that other animals can't. But we also have the natural inclination, like other animals, to eat meat and be warm.

I have no problem with PETA's morals. I do have a problem with its logic. That because there is none.

Jimmy Boegle is a fifth-generation Nevadan who has somehow gone two consecutive weeks with out making fun of George W. "Let's bomb Iraq for daddy" Bush in this column. Oops. Jimmy's column appears here Tuesdays, and a column archive may be viewed at www.jimmyboegle.com. 1