Much has been made as of late regarding the increase in visible corporate sponsorships. In the old days, corporate sponsorships were seemingly restricted to three things: race cars, PBS "underwriting" and TV shows. An example: soap operas were "brought to us" for years by a company called Proctor and Gamble, which sounds more like a day in the life of a Las Vegas teacher than a company name to me.
But these days, sponsorships are everywhere. Product placement is a common thing on TV today. College football bowl games are named after not flowers or minerals or crops, but after dot-coms and fast-food chains. And if the bowl games are not downright named after a company, they are "presented" by a company, such as the Rose Bowl Presented by AT&T.
Television? It's completely out of control. There was an episode of "Friends" in which Phoebe practically had an on-air orgasm over Pottery Barn, for crying out loud.
And this is true: I received a news release the other day about a company that is giving away a car to some Nevadan for free. The only catch: The car is riddled with advertising.
It's Gertie's Yugo, brought to you by Sizzler!
And it's only going to get worse, folks. More and more sports stadiums, even those funded by public money, have had their names sold to big business. The nearest large sports facilities to Reno: Arco Arena, Pac Bell Park, 3Com Park, and -- my personal favorite -- the Network Associates Coliseum. Plus, Nike logos and the like are a mainstay on the uniforms of collegiate athletes (i.e. amateur kids). And there has been talk of sponsorship patches possibly appearing on the uniforms of Major League Baseball players one day soon.
Seeing as advertising and "corporate sponsorships" are nearly everywhere these days, why don't we allow corporate sponsorships into the one area where, at least overtly, they haven't reached yet?
Of course, I am talking about politicians.
Yeah, yeah, I know: Politicians are already owned and paid for in many ways by corporate America, thanks to campaign contributions and post-elected-career board seats and jobs. But much of this buying and selling is done behind the scenes, where nobody can see it unless one wants to pour through pages and pages of campaign contribution reports.
I think it ought to become a requirement that politicians, on their clothing, wear the logos of the companies or industries that gave them the most money. Plus, the company or industry that gave the MOST money to each candidate would be that candidate's "title sponsor."
Imagine how last night's State of the State address would have gone:
Ladies and gentleman, welcome the governor of Nevada, Kenny Guinn, presented by the Nevada gambling industry!
Then, as the governor, bedecked in a suit emblazoned with the logos of all of Nevada's finest casinos, walked in, the members of the Assembly and Senate would applaud joyously. They, too, would be wearing the logos of all their biggest contributors, such as mining operations, tobacco companies and business lobbyists, in addition to casino companies. Not only would such a display be completely honest, it would be festive in its multi-colored splendor.
And the scene in Washington would be even greater.
Ladies and gentleman, the president of the United States, as brought to you by the finest oil companies in all the land, Alfred E. Newman! I mean George W. Bush!
And then, as Dubya have his speech, he could hold in his hand a bottle of Pennzoil. Imagine how wonderful and accurate this would look: the president holding the yellow bottle, with his suit coat's right arm -- covered with the logos of right-wing Christian organizations -- just touching the "l" in Pennzoil, as he tries unsuccessfully to look intelligent and not mispronounce words over three syllables.
It would bring tears to my eyes. But that would just be from all the petroleum fumes.
Jimmy Boegle is a fifth-generation Nevadan who reminds you that this column was brought to you by the letter "Q" and the number "3.141592." His column (Jimmy's, not pi's) appears here Tuesdays, and he can be reached via e-mail at jiboegle@stanfordalumni.org.