Let's be thankful this woman does not live in our area...
Bugs Bunny ... has been accused of sexism by an Ottawa woman who was offended by "Bewitched Bunny," a 1954 short featuring Bugs dueling a witch. ... (Judith) Hansel sent a written complaint to the Global Television Network and accused Bugs Bunny of being "anti-woman" and demanded an on-air apology on its newscasts.
--USA Today, Aug. 23, 1999
OK, would somebody tell me what in the heck this world is coming to? We have a woman getting publicity in one of the nation's largest newspapers because she thinks Bugs Bunny is sexist.
Yeah. Bugs Bunny is sexist, Olive Oyl is clearly anorexic, and we all know Bert and Ernie are much more than simple "roommates."
Give me a break! THESE ARE CARTOONS!
According to this USA Today article, written by Kelly DiNardo (a name that I could not make up), Judith Hansel was peeved because Bugs -- a renowned crossdresser who is known to smooch Elmer Fudd and even trick him into marriage -- uses a magic powder to turn a pesky witch into a "fetching female bunny." As he and the bunny babe walk into the sunset, Bugs winks at the screen and says, "Ah sure, I know! But aren't they all witches inside?"
Thank goodness the Canadian Broadcast Standards Council dismissed Hansel's claim, saying that although there is "undeniable innuendo" in that statement, there is nothing in Bugs Bunny programming that "suggests a program attitude which could be broadly interpreted" as anti-woman.
Then they made Hansel sit down and watch a 24-hour marathon of "The Andrew Dice Clay Show." OK, I made that last part up. But I feel that would have been highly appropriate.
Imagine for a moment -- the horror, the horror! -- if Hansel moved to the Sparks-Reno area. You can imagine the headlines...
SPARKS -- A woman is accusing the Sparks Police Department of racism, claiming the SPD's use of white patrol cars is a clear sign of bigotry.
"Look at almost all the other police departments in the world," said Judith Hansel. "Almost all of them use mostly-black police cars. This is a clear sign Sparks police have something against people of color."
City Attorney Chet Adams, when told of Hansel's comments, went completely insane.
But would Hansel stop in Sparks? I highly doubt it.
RENO -- A Sparks woman says the Reno Police Department is supporting gun use by children by employing a deputy police chief whose name is similar to that of a prominent gun manufacturer.
Judith Hansel said today that the employment of former police chief and current Deputy Chief Jim Weston is actually a subtle hit to kids that it is OK to use firearms carrying the "Smith & Wesson" brand name.
"Weston is their media spokesman," Hansel said. "Kids hear Weston, and automatically think of Wesson. If they do not think of Wesson corn oil, which is slippery and poses a danger itself, they think of Smith & Wesson. Then they go out and buy guns. It is sick."
When told of Hansel's comments, Weston declined comment and then snickered for three straight hours.
Having taken on Sparks and Reno authorities, it would not surprise me of Hansel then decided to fry even bigger fish.
RENO -- The entire Washoe County electorate is being sued by a Sparks woman because, she claims, the voters have elected a district attorney and sheriff who both have a name which is also a word used to refer to male genitalia.
In her suit, Judith Hansel claims the election of Dick Gammick and Dick Kirkland is oppressing women because of their names and their positions of authority in the county.
"If you want to talk to the sheriff or the DA, you have to talk to a Dick," Hansel said. "This clearly is offensive and demeaning to women."
When reached for comment, Gammick and Kirkland referred to Hansel as an "apparent witch."
In this era of overblown political correctness, some of us simply need to calm down and chill out. My suggestion to Ms. Hansel: It is just a cartoon, ma'am. So, please, just sit down, have a carrot, and relax, OK? Thank you.
Jimmy Boegle is a fifth-generation Nevadan who has now officially been scared away from ever considering a visit of Canada. His column appears here Tuesdays, and he can be reached via e-mail at jiboegle@stanfordalumni.org.