June 24, 2003
You know, we should feel sorry for our elected officials these days.
Now, I know what you're thinking: FEEL SORRY FOR OUR ELECTED OFFICIALS? ARE YOU MAD? HAVE YOU BEEN SNORTING GLUE AGAIN? WHY SHOULD WE FEEL SORRY FOR THESE CRETINS, MANY OF WHOM HAVE THE ETHICS OF CROSS-DRESSING NAZIS?
Yeah, yeah, I know. But it's tough for some of the poor fellas these days. Take Kenny Guinn, for example. Here's a guy who ran for governor, truly wanting to good for the people of Nevada, or at least what the gambling industry thought was good for the people of Nevada, so he took a gazillion dollars from the casinos in campaign contributions. Now, he's faced with a state in economic crisis, and he's fighting with a bunch of redneck members of his own party, and he's aligned with Democrats like Richard Perkins, apparently the next guy who will get a gazillion dollars from the gaming industry in gubernatorial campaign contributions.
It’s a sad story, really. Don't you feel bad for Kenny?
But it could be worse for him. He could be accepting publicly embarrassing crank calls like Fidel Castro.
Yes, I am being serious. According to an account from Reuters, posted on CNN.com, a DJ from Spanish-language radio station in Miami called Castro's headquarters and claimed he was an aide to Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez, saying that Chavez had lost a suitcase with important documents in it.
And then, the fun ensued. This, from the Reuters story:
Finally, Castro came on the line and listened to the story of the suitcase, apparently taken in by real phrases by Chavez cobbled together by the radio station.
The Chavez "aide" asked Castro if he agreed to help by getting his security detail hunt down the suitcase and the Cuban leader said, "I absolutely agree."
"Do you agree with the s--- on the island [Cuba], killer?" the Chavez "aide" asked, quickly adding, "You fell for it" and announcing he was on the Miami radio program.
"What did I fall for, you s---?" said Castro. "What did I fall for, bastard?" he said.
Speaking of dictators, George W. Bush's had a rough time of it, too, lately.
This, from CNN.com:
A commercial New Zealand television channel has been embarrassed by a caption it aired labeling U.S. President George W. Bush a "professional fascist."
New Zealand's TV3 has apologized for the caption which screened during the weather segment of the station's main evening news bulletin on Wednesday night.
Well, it looks like it's a matter of time before the Axis of Evil has a fourth member. I wonder if we'll invade them before or after Iran. And what will be the New Zealanders' alleged weapons of mass destruction? Booby-trapped kiwis?
Finally, Bush's good friend, Tony Blair, who is like George W. Bush in many ways except for the fact that he can actually pronounce the word "nuclear" correctly, has been having a rough time with things, too. This, also from a Reuters story on CNN.com:
Britain's ruling Labour Party has often been criticized for trying to manipulate and control the daily news agenda. But Monday they took their eye off the ball as hackers attacked the party's official Web site, putting up a picture of U.S. President George W. Bush carrying his dog, with Prime Minister Tony Blair's head superimposed on it.
Interesting. This begs the question: What would Tony Blair, George W. Bush, Fidel Castro and Kenny Guinn look like if they all dressed up as cross-dressing Nazis?
Hmm. Never mind.
Jimmy Boegle is a fifth-generation Nevadan who's never tried to crank-call a public official, nor has he ever snorted glue, although he did used to eat paste when he was in kindergarten. Jimmy's column appears here Tuesdays, and an archive may be viewed at www.jimmyboegle.com.