SALT LAKE CITY -- Ah, weddings. I am at the age where it seems like all of my friends at getting married. I do not know whether it is mating frenzy or just a bunch of crazy kids falling in love that is causing all these matrimonial unions.
However, for the latest one, I know it is love. Okay, there's a little mating frenzy involved, too.
I am spending a portion of my Memorial Day weekend here in Salt Lake City (motto: "Hey, we know the lake stinks, but the Jazz proved the Lakers stink!") for the wedding of my best friend since middle school, Kelly, and his lovely bride, Nikole. They, like myself, are Mormons, and they wanted to get married in the temple here.
Now, from this wedding and the others in which I have been involved recently, I have learned: Weddings have two sides. The spectacles usually have a truly beautiful, emotional, spiritual side -- and Kelly and Nikole's wedding was certainly awesome, from what I saw. But there is also this other side that involves... well, massive amounts of peanut butter and -- ahem -- sexual speculation. Though hopefully not together.
This odd remark will make more sense as I tell you about the two sides to Kelly and Nikole Odell's union. At least, I hope it will.
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The second that I saw Kelly and Nikole after their ceremony, it hit me -- and I am saying this with absolute seriousness -- they looked magical. Kelly looked magnificent in his tuxedo, and I swear there has never been a more beautiful bride than Nikole on that May 22. They were the most awesome, glowing couple ever.
After the group pictures, I watched as Kelly's father, Roger, took some pictures of them as they sat in a small, flowering tree. They way they looked at each other was special. It was like they were truly meant to be together.
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In many weddings involving people who are strictly religious, there is a whole other aspect to getting hitched -- the wedding night activities. Forgive me if this sounds inappropriate, but the thought that "Ew, there going to be having sexual intercourse" (technical terms: "making whoopee" and "doing it") does come up. Let's just say there were enough comments about this fact coming from many people -- including the groom -- in the time around the wedding.
But Kelly's older brother, Shawn, took this "sexual speculation" to a whole other level. Shawn -- unmarried at 24 -- could not get Kelly's new sex life out of his mind. The remarks would not stop.
An example: The night of the wedding, Shawn and I walked from our hotel to a nearby 7-11 to get some items for his grandmother, who was not feeling well. As we walked back, Shawn pointed to the hotel where the newlyweds were staying, right across the street from our hotel.
He said, and I quote: "That building right over there... what do you think, right now, Kelly and Nikole are doing in there?"
This was followed by a discussion about whether they would actually be "doing it" on their wedding night, or whether they might consider holding off.
I could not help but wonder: Are Kelly and Nikole, right now, thinking that two morons would be having this conversation?
I doubted it. I speculated they had their minds elsewhere
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As Kelly, Nikole, their families and myself left the reception, we met in the parking garage. We needed to get some things out of his car, and as we said our good-byes, Shawn and I realized: He was losing his brother, in a way. And in a way, I was losing my best friend.
Shawn and I discussed this later. He talked about how weird it was at home to have his brother's room, right next to his, completely empty. I talked about how I'd probably rarely ever see Kelly now -- not that I have seen him much over the past months, anyway.
But nonetheless, it was a bittersweet moment. Kelly was doing a wonderful thing, pledging himself to an awesome young woman. We were happy for him -- but, in a way, sad for ourselves. Things would never be the same.
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"Get the rest of the stuff," Kelly's cousin, Matt, told me as he delicately spackled peanut butter on the hood of Kelly's pride and joy, Nikole (possibly) excluded -- his silver Toyota Celica sports car.
You see, Kelly had hinted that he wanted his car decorated -- probably with toilet paper and tin cans, reading "just married."
Oh, no. Shawn, Matt and I were willing to decorate his car -- but we were doing it our way. Matt, who is about our age, pointed out how Kelly has an affinity for peanut butter and honey.
What better items are there with which to decorate Kelly's car?
The rest of the stuff Matt was directing me to get was marshmallows, whipped cream and -- do not ask me why -- maxi pads. With them, we got Kelly's car good. This, at 1 a.m. in a Salt Lake City parking garage.
Something tells me that Kelly, the morning after, wished he hadn't hinted for us to decorate his car.
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Kelly and Nikole, as of now, have been married for a total of four days -- just the start of a union that should last the ages. I hope they'll have fond memories of how it all started in Salt Lake City.
I know for sure that I won't soon forget their wedding. Certainly not the beautiful side. And try as I might (or might not), I won't be forgetting the other side, either.
Jimmy Boegle, a fifth-generation Nevadan, has promised not to say the name Shawn gave the artwork of Kelly's decorated car. If you want to know the name, Jimmy can be reached via e-mail at jiboegle@alumni.stanford.org. Jimmy's column appears here Tuesdays.