Let's face it -- the Truckee Meadows has always had a certain degree of inherent tackiness. Our primary industry, gambling, uses neon as if it were an elixir of beauty and class; in reality, neon has all the beauty and class of Ed Asner in a dress. Plus, the area is known for things such as Topsy the Circus Circus clown, which is known for frightening small children and birds, and the National Bowling Stadium, which is known for losing large amounts of money.
But tackiness has reached some new highs in the area as of late, even surpassing Topsy and a cross-dressing Ed Asner.
The first new bastion of tackiness is something that you have probably noticed if you've driven down South Virginia Street in Reno lately. The Peppermill Hotel-Casino, which will soon be the largest hotel-casino in the area with planned expansions, has decided to build the ugliest sign ever conceived of by mankind.
The 93-foot-tall sign was erected at a cost $2 million, money which would have been put to better use if it were fed to the ducks at Virginia Lake. It is pink and blue along with other colors, featuring what is supposed to be feathers with rings and stars around them. The sign also has a message board in the middle, and the "Peppermill" logo going diagonally across the feathers. The sign features (seriously) 568,320 light-emitting diodes, and almost two miles of neon. Ed Asner would be proud.
You put these feathers and stars and damn diodes together and it results in a sign so hideous that drivers in the area of the Peppermill are abruptly driving off the road and throwing up. It is that ugly. If you do not believe me, go see for yourself. But take a barf bag.
The second tacky terror to hit the area is even worse than the Peppermill sign. I am speaking of the so-called City Center Pavilion, located along Center Street between Fourth and Fifth streets in downtown Reno.
The "Pavilion," however, looks nothing like anything that I would imagine a pavilion to be. Instead, it looks like a giant green and brown shed. I can see the brain-trusts of downtown coming up with this idea:
Casino executive 1: Hmm... Downtown is blighted, and casinos are struggling. We need something.
Casino exec 2 How about a beautiful museum? Or a first-class new casino to bring people here?
Ed Asner: No, that does not have enough neon.
Casino exec 3: I think we need a giant shed, made of some sort of aluminum or something.
Casino exec 1: Damn, that's BRILLIANT! Great idea! Now let's go tear down the Mapes!
Of course, the City Center Pavilion, operated by the Silver Legacy, does more than put a roof over the Carano family's tools. There are events and displays inside of the shed. These events and displays are seemingly always being either set up or taken down, meaning trucks are always taking up either one or two lanes of busy Center Street.
One recent afternoon, I was driving north on Center Street (if you drive south on Center Street, people get upset seeing as it's one-way) and trucks setting up something in the shed had decided to take up two out of the three lanes of Center, as if they owned the damn street.
(Note: It is easy to think the downtown casinos literally own the streets downtown; that is not true. They only own the politicians. It's a common mistake.)
As a result of the trucks blocking all but one lane, traffic was backed up four blocks. This created a very interesting atmosphere on Sierra Street, with frustrated motorists started honking and making rude gestures at each other. This, in turn, created an impressive scene for tourists that will make them want to return to Reno frequently, just as soon as Alan Keyes wins the Republican presidential nomination.
While I wish something could be done about the Peppermill sign and the City Center Pavilion, I fear these two things are here to stay. Oh, well; it could be worse. They could be talking about building a casino based on "The Beverly Hillbillies" or something.
Jimmy Boegle is a fifth-generation Nevadan who has been certified as "a sick and twisted individual" by the Nevada Press Association. His column appears here Tuesdays, and he can be reached via e-mail at jiboegle@stanfordalumni.org.