Last week, I wrote about a incident at a department store where I work, when a certain female shopper was wearing only one item of clothing above her waist -- that item being a bra.
I have been deluged with questions about this incident since the column ran. I am not sure what it says about our society when I don't get any feedback on columns about domestic violence and other serious topics -- but get a barrage of questions when I mention the word "bra."
I will now take some time to answer those questions:
--Yes, I am SURE it was a bra. I cross my heart! (ha ha!) It had the hooks in the back and everything. I think three guys standing around a hardware department should be able to collectively know a bra when they see one.
Actually, I guess it depends on who those guys are and what their experience is. Never mind.
--No, the woman was not fat, and she was not old. She was decent-looking, but not drop-dead gorgeous.
--She was also wearing a pair of tight shorts, and not much else.
--Yes, I am SURE it was a bra. But I did not take the initiative to investigate closely.
--Yes, she really did buy a drill.
--No, she did not mention what she planned on using the drill for.
--No, I did not try to get her phone number.
Those questions being answered, I also received a wide variation of comments on what exactly this bra-wearing woman represents to society, if anything. A fairly large number of people, many of whom work for the Tribune sports department, thought the incident forecast great things for our world. But a number of people also noted this could be a horrible thing, if ALL women, including Janet Reno and Roseanne, started wearing only bras above the waist.
Some people, including myself, abandoned the hormone-influenced stance to take the position that maybe bra-only wardrobes are not good. I imagine that some 7-year-old boy out shopping with his mom at the mall, upon seeing the woman with only the bra, would have some fascinating questions:
Boy (pointing at Bra Woman): Mommy, what is that woman wearing?
Mother: AAAAACK! (Having a coronary attack)
In the end, it comes down to respect. This woman, by wearing underwear when it was not under anything, was being disrespectful; she knew what she was wearing would draw attention -- including some attention she should not be drawing, as the mother suffering from a heart attack would confirm.
Every day, it seems there are more and more signs of people not having simple respect for each other. Last Sunday I was sitting in church along with 150 others, preparing to take the Sacrament, when all of a sudden all heck broke loose. Some man barged in yelling at the top of his lungs, upset because someone had parked too close to his driveway.
Now, I can understand this man's frustration if indeed some vehicles were intruding on his space. But the time to express this frustration is NOT to come in screaming in full-on buttmunch mode during a church service. During the Sacrament ceremony, our leaders had to go out and talk to this little weenie of a man. This is unacceptable!
But at least the man was wearing more than a bra above his waist.
And there is no place that shows the lack of respect more than the freeway. A simple drive around Interstate 80 or U.S. 395 will provide a motorist with a fascinating array of gestures and colorful phrases. I have been given the bird -- and I ain't talking Tweety -- for slowing down to let someone pull in front of me. And that was by the person I let in!
I think it would be an interesting initiative if there was a law passed requiring all motorists to be armed. This law would be kind of like the political science theory that the proliferation of nuclear weapons means it's less likely they will be used, because everyone's afraid of getting blown to smithereens. Think about it -- we'd all think twice at gesturing rudely at a driver we KNEW was packing heat. Then people would show some respect.
But, I digress. That law will not be passed anytime soon. All I can say is we should all make more of an effort to show more respect for each other.
And I will start off by making this promise: I will absolutely not, under any circumstances, wear only a bra out in public. I promise to wear at least a nice, modest blouse over it. Thank you; goodnight.
Jimmy Boegle, a fifth-generation Nevadan, is proud he was able to use the words "buttmunch" and "church" in the same sentence. His column appears here Tuesdays; he can be reached via e-mail at jiboegle@alumni.stanford.org.