<bgsound src="Sail_On.mid" loop=infinite>If you had a life in your hands
and it left you
no matter your effort
to pump and breathe it back
all you had, too little, too late,
still death was stronger...
how do you think you would feel?

If you saw a fire
and fought it with everything
knowing it takes too long
for the big guys to come
and your world was destroyed
as you sit breathless and limp
how would you feel?

and you didn't give up till the end...
you never gave up....

did you feel it?
can you tell me what it was?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You make me wonder
if life should be this complex
the way you say I am
but I'm not, you're just simple.
It's heartbreaking, you know.

You couldn't be you
when desperately I was just me
but one day you'll see
it was never this much
to deal with.

You stand in the great divide
between a habit and love
that you may feel
and not knowing which way to go

but I can tell you now
you only have one way out

because I have given up.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

He never asked me to believe in him
but I did it anyway
and he took my thoughts and feelings
leaving me when he said he'd stay

and feelings used to be important
but I got used to being without
and so he comes around again
when needing what I was all about.

He heard me play the piano
when I didn't know he was there
it brought tears to his eyes
to hear my empty, see my stare.

And I didn't want to hear him
asking me to believe again
wrong for hurting me like that
I can't change this scene, friend.

The unbelieving of it now
undone for good from when
it was unconditional, taken for granted
I keep my own spirit
to see he doesn't bring it down again.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

He called me on the phone
while I was getting high on me,
my silence and my freedom,
and he broke in, wanting to see

what my reaction would be
if he asked her what he should do
about me, because he loves me
and I'm not there.

She's pretty, tall, and she's crazy for him
and she tells me he loves me
up there talking only about me all the time
she says not to be so hard on him
he's a pretty good guy...

I guess I'm not the only one he's lied to.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

He knows he won't see me again
on both our parts
it was decided then
we would sever connections of the hearts

Someone said he cried
passing by my home
looking in the doorway
wanting in, keep from alone.
But it was agreed.
He calls and hangs up the phone.

Sometimes he sings
to crack my resistance
not holding up his end
of this keeping distance.

He says it's cold out there
he says "let me in"
all the while knowing
he won't see me again.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

So I never really knew you
because I was off and running
from the beginning
running too fast from you to see
who you really were

and that's funny to me
because I'm not good at running
what you saw was the walking
away before the tears came
everyone knows I don't cry
where it can be seen.

I may have just been screaming too loud
or you were lying too softly
I don't want you to wonder where I'm going
I'll be fine where I am

but I'm not running there
and you will not follow me.

This, is only walking
a freedom of choice
no screaming anymore
for not letting me know who you were

when I wanted to so desperately.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It's not that.
I'm here but not.
You see me tip my hat.
It's what I got.

So take me
because I'm there
not going free
not going anywhere

see me and know it
I'm not living this
for being a poet
or for giving kiss

blowing one though
I can move around
I'm here but slow
I go up and down

don't think I've gone
or have I disappeared
it's that I'm off and on
keeping each one endeared

and touching on the basics.