JoeBob's Car Lot
Selling A Little Piece Of Hell
Still looking for a car
I went to a "buy here/pay here" place
because my credit's not good enough for society
somewhere you go when you can't show your face
in any reputable dealership
without the giggle-
without the game-playing because they know
they got you where you squirm and wriggle
so JoeBob got to see my face
he said, "lemme show ya what I got here"-
and he took me to an Oldsmobile something
"take her for a spin", looking kinda queer.
So I got in and started her up
there was only a little smoke and rust-
took her down the road a ways, behold
she sputtered, choked, stopped, I cussed.
So I starting walking and 20 minutes later
I walked in the door, sweat in a rolling glob-
I threw the keys on the desk at JoeBob-
take your car and shove it up your ass
he screamed "wait, I got one that'll do the job!".
So we went back out to the lot of hell
"just got this one in, a sight for sore eyes"-
and the dude brought around a midget car
I didn't see how he fit because of his size.
But he managed to peel himself out
and just for kicks, I got in-
I drove it up to the edge of the highway
zero to five in sixty seconds, *grin*
I barely made it on alive
cars braking, swerving, one even tried to go over top-
floored it to putter speed and looked up
in the rearview mirror...a cop...
the damn accelerator stuck...I couldn't stop.
Before I knew it, I had six cruisers, flashing lights,
sirens blaring, a fugitive of justice, near caught-
and the good Lord must have been watching over
because I ran out of gas just before I got
to the bridge the goes out of the state
I had a lot of explaining to do-
they acted like they didn't believe me
until they saw what gave them a clue...
JoeBob Car Sales plate on the back-
I stood in awe of how they all started to crack
up, and that was that! They gave me a ride
back to the lot of hell
and escorted me in and...well...
let's just say JoeBob won't be sittin' down fer a spell.