Battlefields

I woke up this morning, wondering
how I was going to get out of bed
to smile at the world today
around these flashbacks in my head,
claustrophobic, this anger and fear,
the 'fight or flight' is there but absent too
like a war where you can't move, frozen
with all the missiles exploding over you.

Gotta get up and leave, run,
or hide out in the pillows, under the sheets, cower,
or call out the troops, artilleries and tanks,
full force for every drop of blood, devour...

I looked at you sleeping there
and I was carried off in a silent wind
growing to love you more every battle
even though you won't know the end
or see in my eyes across the battlefields
in the dark in dreams and morning dew,
for this war I'm dead in the middle of
for reasons that I can't share with you-

and sadly you may bury me before I'm due
for frozen moments of which you haven't a clue,
and a love you saw but never knew.