THE SEVEN HABITS
OF HIGHLY EFFECTIVE PEOPLE

HABIT 1 BE PROACTIVE

Between stimulus and response, man has the freedom to choose.

Proactivity means that an human beings, we are responsible for our lives. Our behavior is a function of our decisions, not our conditions. We can subordinate feelings to values. We have the initiative and the responsibility to make things happen.

Look at the word responsibility-"response-ability"-the ability to choose your response. Highly proactive people recognize that responsibility. They do not blame circumstances, conditions, or conditioning for their behavior. Their behavior is a product of their own conscious choice, based on

values, rather than a product of their conditions, based on feeling.

Because we are, by nature, proactive, if our lives are a function of conditioning and conditions, it is because we have, by conscious decision or by default, chosen to empower those things to control us. In making such a choice, we become reactive. Reactive people are often affected by their physical environment. If the weather is good, they feel good. If it isn't, it affects their attitude and their performance. Proactive people can carry their own weather with them. Whether it rains or shines makes no difference to them. They are value driven; and if their value is to produce good quality work, it isn't a function of whether the weather is conducive to it or not.

Reactive people are also affected by their social environment, by the 'socialweather." When people treat them well, they feel well; when peoplle don't, they become defensive or protective. Reactive people build their emotional lives around the behavior of others, empowering the weaknesses of other people to control them.

So it is our willing permission, our consent to what happens to us, that hurts us far more than what happens to us in the first place.

It may be hard to accept emotionally, especially if we have had years and years of explaining our misery in the name of circumstances or someone else behavior. But until a person can say deeply and honestly, "I am what I am today because of the choices I made yesterdy," that person cannot say, "I choose otherwise."

Once in Sacramento when I was speaking on the subject of proactivity, a woman in the audience stood up in the middle of my presentation and started talking excitedly. It was a large audience, and as a numberof people turned to look at her, she suddenly became aware of what she was doing, grew embarrassed and sat back down. But she seemed to find it difficult to restrain herself and started talking to the people around her. She seemed so happy.

I could hardly wait for a break to find out what had happened. When it finally came, I immediately went to her and asked if she would be willing to share her experience.

"You just can't imagine what's happened to me!" she exclaimed. "I'm a full-time nurse to the most miserable, ungrateful man you can possibly imagine. Nothing I do is good enough for him. He never expresses appreciation; he hardly even acknowledges me. He constantly harps at me and finds fault with everything I do. This man has made my life miserable and I often take my frustration out on my family. The other nurses feel the same way. We almost pray for his demise.

"And for you to have the gall to stand up there and suggest that nothing can hurt me, that no one can hurt me without my consent, and that I have chosen my own emotional life of being miserable-well, there was just no way I could buy into that.

"But I kept thinking about it. I really went inside myself and began to ask, 'do I have the power to choose my response?' When I finally realized that I do have that power, when I swallowed that bitter pill and realized that I had chosen to be miserable, I also realized that I could choose not to be miserable. "At that moment I stood up. I felt as though I was being let out of San Quentin. I wanted to yell to the whole world, 'I am free! I am let out of prison! No longer am I going to be controlled by the treatment of some person.'"

Many people wait for something to happen or someone to take care of them. But people who end up with the good jobs, effective people, are the proactive ones who are solutions to problems, not problems themselves, who seize the initiative to do whatever is necessary, consistent with correct principles, to get the job done.

Our response to any mistake affects the quality of the next moment. It is important to immediately admit and correct our mistakes so that they have no power over that next moment and we are empowered again.

It is here that we find two ways to put ourselves in control of our lives immediately. We can make a promise-and keep it. Or we can set a goal-and work to achieve it. As we make and keep commitments, even small commitments, we begin to establish an inner integrity that gives us the awareness of self-control and the courage and strength to accept more of the reponsibility for our own lives. by making and keeping promises to ourselves and others, little by little, our honor becomes greater than our moods.

Work only on things you have control over. Work on you. On be. Remember Samuel Johnson's words: "The fountain of content must spring up in the mind, and he who has so little knowledge of human nature as to seek happiness by changing anything but his own disposition, will waste his life in fruitless efforts..."

Look at the weaknesses of others with compassion, not accusation. It's not what they're not doing or should be doing that's the issue. The issue is your own chosen reponse to the situation and what you should be doing. I you start to think the problem is "out there," stop yourself. that thought is the problem.

People who exercise their embryonic freedom day after day will, little by little, expand that freedom.People who do not will find that it withers until they are literally "being lived." They are acting out the scripts written by parents, associates, and society.

HABIT 2 BEGIN WITH THE END IN MIND

Visualize, synthesize, transcend time and present circumstances, to project a holistic picture of what you want to do and to be in life.

Through the powers of your imagination, you can visualize your own funeral, and write your own eulogy in details. What contributions, what achievements will you want to have made in your field?

Visualize in rich detail. Involve as many emotions and feelings as possible. Involve as many of the senses as you can.

Think in terms of having only a short time to live. Visualize how you would spend this time.

When people seriously undertake to identify what really matters most to them in their lives, what they really want to be and to do, they become very reverent. They start to think in larger terms than today and tomorrow.

Personal leadership is the ongoing process of keeping your vision and values before you and aligning your life to be congruent with those most important things.

I can write an "affirmation" that will help me become more congruent with my deeper values in my daily life.

A good affimation has five basic ingredients: it's personal, it's positive, it's present tense, it's visual, and it's emotional. So, if I have trouble overreacting with my children, I might write something like this: "It is deeply satisfying (emotional) that I (personal) respond (present tense) with wisdom, love, firmness, and self-control (positive) when my children misbehave."

Then I can visualize it. I can spend a few minutes each day and imagine situations in which my children misbehave. But instead of seeing my normal response, I can see myself handle the situation with all the love, the power, the sel-control I have capture in my affirmation.

And if I do this, day after day my behavior will change. Instead of living out of the scripts given to me by my own parents or by society or by genetics or my environment, I will be living out of the script I have written from my own self-selected value system.

You can do it in every area of your life. Before a performance, a sales presentation, a difficult confrontation, or the daily challenge of meeting a goal, see it clearly, vividly, relentlessly, over and over again. Create an internal "comfort zone." Then, when you get into the situation, it isn't foreign. It doesn't scare you.

HABIT 3 PUT FIRST THINGS FIRST

We usually spend time in one of four ways.

-Quadrant I: Important and urgent activities like crisis handling, pressing problems, deadline-driven projects.

-Quadrant II: Important and not urgent activities like prevention, building Production Capability, relationship building, recognizing new opportunities, planning, recreation, delegating...

-Quadrant III: Not important and urgent activities like interruptions, some calls, some mail, some reports, some meetings, pressing matters, Popular activities.

-Quadrant IV: Not important and not urgent activities like trivia, busy work, some mail, some phone calls, time wasters, pleasant activitites.

If we don't have a clear idea of what is important, of the results we desire in our lives, we are easily diverted into responding to the urgent.

The very effective manager will spend most of his time in Quadrant I and II and shun time wasters.

Every week set goals and schedule activities consistent with your values and long-term goals. In this way, you can concentrate in the fulfilment of your unique mission in life.

Effectively delegation to others is perhaps the single most powerful high-leverage there is. Transferring responsibility to other skilled and trained people enables you to give your energies to other high-leverage activities.

A producer does whatever is necessary to accomplish desired results. A parent who washes the dishes is a producer. But when a person sets up and works with and through people and systems to produce the result, that person becomes a manager. A parent who delegates washing the dishes to a child is a manager. A producer can invest one hour of effort and produce one unit of results, assuming no loss of efficiency. A manager on the other hand, can invest one hour of effort and produce ten or fifty or a hundred units through effective delegation.

There are basically two kinds of delegation: "gofer delegation" and "stewardship delegation."

Gofer delegation means "Go for this, go for that, do this, do that, and tell me when it's done. Many people consistently delegate that way. but how much does it really accomplish? And how many people is it possible to supervise or manage when you have to be involved in every move they make?

There's a much better way, a more effective way to delegate to other people. And it's based on a paradigm of appreciation of the self-awareness, the imagination, the conscience, and the free will of other people. Stewardship delegation is focused on results instead of methods. It hives people a choice of method and makes them responsible for results. It take more time in the beginning, but it's time well invested. You can increase your leverage through stewardship delegation.

Stewardship delegation involves clear, up-front mutual understanding and commitment regarding expectations in five areas.

DESIRED RESULTS. Create a clear, mutual understanding of what needs to be accomplished, focusing on what, not how ; results, not methods. Spend time. Be patient. Visualize the desired result. Have the person see it, describe it , make out a quality statement of what the results will look like, and by when they will be accomplished.

GUIDELINES. Identify the parameters within which the individual should operate. These should be as few as possible to avoid methods delegation, but should include any formidable restrictions. If you know the failure paths of the job, identify them. Be honest and open. You don't want to have to reinvent the wheel every day. Let people learn from your mistakes or the mistakes of others. Point out what not to do, but don't tell them what to do. Keep the responsibility for results with them-to do whatever is necessary within the guidelines.

RESOURCES. Identify the human, financial, technical, or organizational resources the person can draw on to accomplish the desired results.

ACCOUNTABILITY. Set up standard of performance that will be used in evaluating the results and the specific times when reporting and evaluation will take place.

CONSEQUENCES. Specify what will happen, both good or bad, as a result of the evaluation. This could include such things as financial rewards, psychic rewards, different job assignments, and natural consequences tied into the overall mission of an organization.

Certainly you can pick up that room better than a child, but the key is that you want to empower the child to do it. It takes time. You have ot get involved in the training and development. It takes time, but how valuable that time is downstream! It saves you so much in the long run.

The steward becomes his own boss, and you become his help whenever you can.

With immature people, you specify fewer desired results and more guidelines, identify more resources, conduct more frequent accountability interviews, and apply more immediate consequences. With more mature people, you have more challenging desired results, fewer guidelines, less frequent accountability, and less measurable but more discernable criteria.

THE EMOTIONAL BANK ACCOUNT

An Emotional Bank account is a metaphor that describes the amount of trust that's been built up in a relationship. If I have a habit of showing discourtesy, disrespect, cutting you off, overreacting, ignoring you, becoming arbitrary, betraying your trust, threatening you, or playing little tin god in your life, eventually my Emotional Bank account is overdrawn. The trust level gets very low. To maintain a high level of trust, you have to make regular deposits into your account, especially with people you interact with on a regular basis.

There are six major deposits that build the Emotional Bank Account.

1. Understanding the individual

A deposit must correspond to the person's deep interests or needs. What is important to another person must be as important to you as the other person is to you.

One man, a college professeur, had a terrible relationship with his teenage son. This man's entire life was essentialy academic, and he felt his son was totally wasting his life by working with his hands instead of working to develop his mind. As a result, he was almost constantly on the boy's back, and , in moments of regret, he would try to make deposits that just didn't work. The boy perceived the gestures as new forms of rejection, comparison, and judgment, and they precipitated huge withdrawals. The relationship was turning sour, and it was breaking the father's heart. One day He engaged his son in a project to build a miniature Wall of China around their home. It was a consuming project, and they worked side by side on it for over a year and a half. Through that bonding experience, the son moved through that phase in his life and into an increase desire to develop his mind. But the real benefit was what happened to the relationship. Instead of a sore spot, it became a source of joy and strength to both father and son.

Instead of projecting out of our autobiographies what we think other people want or need, we should understand them deeply, the way you would want to be understood, and then to treat them in terms of that understanding.

2.Attending to the Little Things

People are very tender, very sensitve inside. Even within the most toughened and calloused exteriors, are the tender feelings and emotions of the heart. That's why the little kindnesses and courtesies are so important, whether small discourtesies, little unkindness, llittle forms of disrespect make large withdrawals.

3.Keeping commitments

When the unexpected does come up, creating a situation where it would be unwise or impossible to keep a promise, explained the situation thoroughly to the person involved and ask to be released from the promise.

4.Clarifying expectations

The cause of almost all relationship difficulties is rooted in conflicting or ambiguous expectations around roles and goals. When expectations are not clear and shared, people begin to become emotionally involved and simple misunderstandings become compounded, turning into personality clashes and communication breakdown. We create many negative situations by simply assuming that our expectations are self-evident and that they are clearly understood and shared by other people.

So, whenever you come to a new situation, work with others to arrive at a mutually agreeable set of expectations, about what are to be the work and duties of everyone.

5.Showing Personal Integrity

Conform reality to your words, that is keep your promises and fulfill expectations. Always be loyal to those who are not present, and treat all equally.

Suppose you and I were talking alone, and we were criticizing our supervisor in a way that we would not dare to do if he were present. Now what will happen when you and I have a falling out? You know I'm going to be discussing your weaknesses with someone else. That's what you and I did behind our supervisor's back. You know my nature. I'll sweet-talk you to your face and bad-mouth you behind your back. You've seen me do it.

That's the essence of duplicity. Does that build a reserve of trust in my account with you?

If you agree with some criticism you hear about an absent person, suggest the criticizer to go with you directly to the person concerned and make an effective presentation on how things might be improved.

6. Apologizing Sincerely when you make a withdrawal

It takes a great deal of character strength to apologize quickly out of one's heart rather than out of pity. A person must possess himself and have a deep sense of security in fundamental principles and values in order to genuinely apologize.

People with little internal security can't do it. It makes them too vunerable. They feel it makes them appear soft and weak, and they fear that others will take advantage of their weakness. Their security is based on the opinions of other people, and they worry about what others might think. In addition, they usually feel justified in what they did. They rationalize their own wrong in the name of the other person's wrong, and if they apologize at all, it's superficial.

When we truly love others without condition, without string, we help them feel secure and safe and validated and affirmed in their essential worth, identity, and integrity. But if we attach strings and conditions to that gift, we put them in a reactive defensive position where they feel they have to prove "I matter as a person, independant of you."

In reality, they aren't independent. They are counter-dependent, which is another form of dependency and is at the lowest end of the Maturity Continuum. They become reactive, almost enemy-centered, more concerned about defending their "rights" and producing evidence of their individuality than they are about proactively listening to and honoring their own inner imperatives.

Rebellion is a knot of the heart, not of the mind. The key is to make deposits- constant deposits of unconditional love.

HABIT 4 THINK WIN/WIN

I will win more of what I want by going for what we both want.

The spirit of a win/win agreement is that we are partners in success. In order to clarify and manage expectations between people involved in any interdependant endeavor, the win/win agreement should include the following five elements:

1. Desired results (not methods) identify what is to be done and when.

2. Guidelines: specify the parameters (principles, policies, etc.) within which results are to be accomplished.

3. Resources: identify the human, financial,technical or organizational support available to help accomplish the results.

4. Accountability: sets up the standards of performance and the time of evaluation.

5. Consequences: specify -good or bad, natural and logical- what does and will happen as a result of the evaluation.

A clear mutual understanding and agreement up front in these areas creates a standard against which people can measure their own success.

Traditional authoritarian supervision is a Win/Lose paradigm. It's also the result of an overdrawn Emotional Bank Account. If you don't have trust or a common vision of desired results, you tend to hover over, check up on, and direct. Trust isn't there, so you feel as though you have to control people.

But if the trust account is high, what is your method? Get out of their way. As long as you have an up-front Win/Win agreement and they know exactly what is expected, your role is to be a source of help and to receive their accountability reports.

There are basically four kinds of consequences (rewards and penalties) that we can control-financial, psychic, opportunity, and responsibility. Financial consequences include such things as income, stock optins, allowances, or penalties. Psychic or psychological consequences include recognition, approval, respect, credibililty, or the loss of them. Opportunity includes training, development, perks, and other benefits. Responsibility has to do with scope and authority, either of which can be enlarged or diminished.

The following is a true story, example of Win/Win agreement in the context of a family:

When my daughter turned 16, we set up a Win/Win agreement regarding use of the family car. We agreed that she would keep the car clean and properly maintened. We agreed that she would use the car only for responsible purposes and would serve as a cab driver for her mother and me within reason. And we also agreed that she would do all her other jobs cheerfully without being reminded. These were our wins.

We also agreed that I would provide some resources-the car, gas, and insurance. And we agreed that she would meet weekly with me, usually on Sunday afternoon, to evaluate how she was doing based on our agreement. The consequences were clear. As long as she kept her part of the agreement, she could use the car. If she didn't keep it, she would lose the privilege until she decided to.

This Win/Win agreement set up clear expectations from the begining on both our parts. It was a win for her-she got to use the car-and it was certainly a win for me. I didn't have to worry about maintaining the car or keeping it clean. And I didn't have ot hover over her or manage her methods. Her integrity, her conscience, her power of discernment and our high Emotional Bank Account managed her infinitely better. We didn't have to get emotionally strung out, trying to supervise her every move and coming up with punishments or rewards on the spot if she didn't do things the way we thought whe should. We had a Win/Win agreement and it liberated us all.

There is no way to maintain a Win/Win agreement without personal integrity and a relationship of trust.

For Win/Win to work, the systems have to support it, The training system, the planning system, the communication system, the budgeting system, the information system, the compensation system-all have to be based on the principle of Win/Win. The following story illustrates this.

I did some consulting for another company that wanted training for their people in human relations. The underlying assumption was that the problem was the people.

The president said, "Go into any store you want and see how they treat you. they're just order takers. They don't understand how to get close to the customers.They don't know the product, and they don't have the knowledge and the skill in the sales process necessary to create a marriage between the product and the need."

So I went to the various stores. And he was right. But that still didn't answer the question in my mind: What caused the attitude? "Look, we're on top of the problem," the president said. "We have department heads out there setting a great example. We've told them their job is two-thirds selling and one third management, and they are outselling everybody. We just want you to provide some training for the salespeople."

Those words raised a red flag. "Let's get some more data," I said.

He didn't like that. He "knew" what the problem was, and he wanted to get on with training. But I persisted, and within two days we uncovered the real problem. Because of the job definition and the compensation system, the managers were "creaming." They'd stand behind the cash register and cream all the business during the slow times. Half the time in retail is slow and the other half is frantic. So the managers would give all the dirty jobs-inventory control, stock work , and cleaning- to the salespeople. And they would stand behind the registers and cream. That's why the department heads were tops in sales.

So we changed one system-the compensation system- and the problem was corrected overnight. We set up a system whereby the managers only made money when their salespeole made money. We overlapped the needs and goals of the managers with the needs and goals of the salespeople. And the need for human relations training suddenly disappeared. The key was developing a true Win/Win reward system.

As people really learn to think Win/Win, they can set up the systems to create and reinforce it. They can transform unnecessarily competitive situations to cooperative ones that will be much more productive by building both production and production capacity.

HABIT 5 SEEK FIRST TO UNDERSTAND, THEN TO BE UNDERSTOOD

In order to understand others you have to listen to them. And the best way to do that is to listen emphatically, that is to rephrase the content and reflect the feeling.

For example if a son says to his father "boy, Dad, I've had it! School is for the birds!"

The father can answer "you're really frustrated about school."

Frustration is the feeling: School is the content. You are using both sides of you brain to understand both sides of his communication.

Now, what happens when you use empathic listening skills is really incredible. As you autentically seek to understand, as you rephrase content and reflect feeling, you give him psychological air. You also help him work through his own thoughts and feelings. As he grows in his confidence of your sincere desire to really listen and understand, the barrier between what's going on inside him and what's actually being communicated to you disappears. It opens a soul to soul flow. He's not thinking and feeling one thing and communicating another. The begins to trust you with his innermost tender feelings and thoughts. As it happens in the following dialogue between father and son.

"I'm going to flunk, Dad. I guess I figure if I'm going to flunk, I might as well quit. But I don't want to quit."

"You feel torn. You're in the middle of a dilemna."

"What do you think I should do , Dad?"

By setting aside his own autobiography and really seeking to understand, the father has made a tremendous deposit in the Emotional Bank Account and empowered his son to open, layer upon layer, and to get to the real issue.

Now father and son are on the same side of the table looking at the problem, instead of on opposite sides looking across at each other. The son is opening his father's autobiography and askin for advice.

Even as the father begins to counsel, however, he needs to be sensitive to his son's communication. As long as the response is logical, the father can effectively ask questions and give counsel. But the moment the response becomes emotional, he needs to go back to empathic listening.

"Well, I can see some things you might want to consider."

"Like what, Dad?"

"Like getting some special help with your reading. Maybe they have some kind of tutoring program over at the tech school."

"I have already checked into that. It takes two nights and all day Saturday. That would take so much time!"

Sensing emotion in that reply, the father moves back to empathy.

"That's to much of a price to pay."

"Besides, Dad, I told the sixth graders I'd be their coach."

"You don't want to let them down."

"But I'll tell you this, Dad. If I really thought that tutoring couse would help, I'd be down there every night. I'd get someone else to coach those kids."

"You really want the help, but you doubt if the couse will make a difference."

"Do you think it would, Dad?"

The son is once more open and logical. He's opening his father's autobiography again. Now the father has another opportunity to influence and transform.

When you present your own ideas clearly, specifically, visually, and most important, contextually-in the context of a deep understanding of their paradigms and concerns- you significantly increase the credibility of your ideas.

You're not wrapped up in your "own thing," delivering grandiose rhetoric from a soapbox. You really understand. What you're presenting may even be different from what you had originally thought because in your effort to understand, you learned.

Habit 5 lifts you to greater accuracy, grater integrity, in your presentations. And people know that. they know you're presenting the ideas which you genuinely believe, taking all known facts and perceptions into consideration, that will benefit everyone. The following story shows that:

Another acquaintance, a university professor, aprroached me one day and said, "Stephen, I can't get to first base in getting the funding I need for my research because my research is really not in the mainstream of this department's interests."

After discussing his situation at some length, I suggested that he develop an effective presentation using ethos, pathos, and logos. "I know you're sincere and the research you want to do would bring grat benefits. Describe the alternative they are in favor of better than they can themselves. Show that you understand them in depth. Then carefully explain the logic behind your request."

"Well, I'll try," he said.

"Do you want to practice with me?" I asked. He was willing, and wo we dress rehearsed his approach.

When he went in to make his presentation, he started by saying, "Now let me see if I first understand what your objectives are, and what your concerns are about this presentation and my recommendation."

He took the time to do it slowly, gradually. In the middle of his presentation, demonstrating his depth of understanding and respect for their point of view, a senior professor turned to another professor, nodded, turned back to him, and said, "You've got you money."

You can always seek first to understand. That's something that's within your control. And as you do that, you come to really, deeply understand other people. You have accurate information to work with, you get to the heart of matters quickly, you build Emotional Bank Accounts, and you give people the psychological air they need so you can work together effectively.

Because you really listen, you become influenceable, And being influenceable is the key to influencing others.

The next time you communicate with anyone, you can put aside your own autobiography and genuinely seek to understand. Even when people don't want to open up about their problems, you can be empathic. You can sense their hearts, you can sense the hurt, and you can respond, "You seem down today." They may say nothing. that's all right. You've shown understanding and respect. Look at the challlenges and the problems they're facing, through their eyes. Build the Emotional Bank Account. Give them air.

HABIT 6 SYNERGIZE

The person who is truly effective has the humility and reverence to recognize his own perceptual limitations and to appreciate the rich resources available through interaction with the hearts and minds of other hunan beings. That person values the differences because those differences add to his knowledge, to his understanding of reality. When we're left to our own experiences, we constantly suffer from a shortage of data.

Is it logical that two people can disagree and that both can be right? It's not logical: It's psychological. And it's very real. You see the young lady; I see the old moman. We're both looking at the same picture, and both of us are right. We see the same black lines, the same white spaces. But we interpret them differently because we've been conditioned to interpret them differently.

And unless we value the differences in our perceptions, unless we value each other and give credence to the possibility that we're both right, we will never be able to transcend the limits of that conditioning.

So when I become aware of the difference in our perceptions, I say, "Good! You see it differently! Help me see what you see." By doing that, I not only increase my own awareness: I give you psychological air, I affirm you. I create an environment for synergy by releasing the negative energy you may have invested in defending a particular position.

When you want to attract support from other people, you involve them in the problem, immerse them in it, so that they soak it in and feel it is their problem and they tend to become an important part of the solution.

As a result, new goals, shared goals, are created, and the whole enterprise moves upward, often in ways that no one could have anticipated. And the excitement contained within that movement creates a new culture. The people involved in it are enmeshed in each other's humanity and empowered by new, fresh thinking, by new creative alternatives and opportunities.

The more genuine the involvement, the more sincere and sustained the participation in analysing and soving problems, the greater the release of everyone's creativity, and of their commitment to what they create.

You can be synergistic within yourself even in the midst of a very negative environment. You don't have to take insults personnally. You can sidestep negative energy: you can look for the good in others and utilize that good, as different as it may be, to improve you point of view and to enlarge your perspective.

You can exercise the courage in interdependent situations to be open, to express your ideas, your feelings, and your experiences in a way that will encourage other people to be open also.

You can value the difference in other people. When someone disagrees with you, you can say, "Good ! You see it differently." You don't have to agree with them; you can simply affirm them. And you can seek to understand.

When you see only two alternatives-your's and the "wrong" one-you can look for a synergistic third alternative. There's almost always a third alternative, and if you work with a Win/Win philosophy and really seek to understand, you usually can find a solution that will be better for everyone concerned.

HABIT 7 SHARPEN THE SAW

We should regularly renew the four dimensions of our nature-physical, mental, spiritual, and social/emotional.

1 Physical: Exercise, nutrition, stress management

2. Mental: Reading, Visualizing, Planning, Writing

3. Spiritual: Value clarification and Commitment, Study and Meditation

4. Social/Emotional: Service, Empathy, Synergy, Intrisic Security

This is the single most powerful investment we can ever make in life-investment in ourselves in the only instrument we have with which to deal with life and to contribute. We are the instruments of our own performance, and to be effective, we need to recognize the importance of taking time regularly to sharpen the saw in all four ways.

To keep progressing, we must learn, commit, and do on increasingly higher planes.