The 10 Rules of the Sensei.

These are the ten rules of the sensei handed down from generation to generation, ever since Yoshimitsu Tsunami collected them from a high lost forgotten mountain fortress in old Tibet. Today they serve as a reminder to all that the ancient ancestors were also sick sadistic individuals and it's not just us.

Face wall. Take one step back. Punch wall. Harder. HARDER. Rule 1: Sensei one sadistic bastard.

No you are doing it wrong stupid. Watch me... like this...*CRACK*. Rule 2: Sensei always enjoy demonstrating on student.

Hey your shoe laces are untied. Rule 3: Never trust Sensei.

Ah new female student. Get on the floor and give me twenty. No not press-ups! Rule 4: Always obey Sensei.

For Sensei pain is a question of mind over matter. Rule 5: Sensei not mind because opponent not matter.

It is like a finger pointing to the moon... Rule 6: Philosophy distract opponent so you can destroy him.

Beginners class today. So what's in the box student?... Nothing! Absolutely Nothing. Rule 7: You're all so stoopid!

Weapon practice. Swords and knives are not evil enough. Rule 8: Spoon! Always use weapon that causes most pain.

I see you're using an old style. I wondered where you learnt it. You should know it's yours too. Hah! I forgot. Rule 9: Never believe you can beat Sensei, he hasn't taught you everything.

Tonight pub crawl. You will all drink as much as me in Royal Marine bar. Rule 10: Sensei expert at Drunken Master technique.