My name is Maple C. Hughes, Jr. and I've got a little problem.  You see, my wife, Roxana Yani, and her boyfriend, Igor Goncharuk,  murdered me on March 31, 1998.  I'm starting to get used to living here on the Other Side, but I have to say that it still bothers me that nothing was ever done to bring these murderers to justice .  In fact, those two  murderers are still living in my house and attempting to probate my estate.   My Ukrainian bride could not be charged with a crime  bacause conspiracy to commit murder is not illegal in the Ukraine.  Igor was arrested but then released because his  lawyer says he has Hepatitis C and detaining him in jail would be to great of a hardship.  He should know hardship.  Hepatitis C is a far cry from death.  I'd gladly trade places with him. My daughter, Celeste, keeps pushing the authorities to send these clever sociapaths to prison but so far she's had little luck.. 

Maple C. Hughes, Jr.