MindOfAbused

In the mind of the abused…

I met the most wonderful man today
I like him so much, I hope he will stay.
I've been with some real jerks before
I really want this one to be mi amore.

Well, it's been two months since we've met.
I think it's so sweet how jealous he'll get.
He's very protective, let no other man near.
I think this one will be around in a year.

Well, yesterday we'd gone and had our first fight.
But we've kissed and made up, now it's all right.
He does have a temper, but all the men do.
So I am aware of what I'm getting into.

Oh, joy of joy! We're moving in together!
I really want this one to last forever.
I know we haven't known each other very long
But he's my dream man, so big and so strong.

Speaking of strong, he doesn't know his own strength.
After it was over, he apologized at length.
He only meant to push me, to get me out of his way.
It's only a little bruise that will soon go away.

Last night things got a little out of hand
While at the bar, watching the band.
A guy smiled at me and I smiled back.
We got back to the car and he gave me a smack.

I was so rude, not thinking of how he would feel.
Now I've got a black eye, but it'll soon heal.
I'll think of something to show him my love is true.
I'll make him a nice dinner and dessert too.

I better put some make-up over that eye.
If anyone asks, I'll lie and say it's a sty.
Most of the time he's really a dear.
I still get goosebumps whenever he's near.

I am so clumsy, I dropped his favorite glass.
For that he threw me flat on my ass.
I'll buy him another, though it won't be the same.
I know I deserved to be called by that name.

Tonight he questioned if my love was true.
I know! I'll prove it, I'll get a tattoo!
That'll show him that he's the only one for me.
His name forever enscripted on my body.

He's been so moody, so brash, and so rude.
He said that I've been giving him attitude.
I disagreed with him once, and now he's mad.
So I'll put on pause the dreams I once had.

I wanted to go back to school, to have a career.
He doesn't want to discuss it, I belong right here.
I'll stay home for now, 'til I can change his mind.
'Cause a good man like him is so hard to find.

My family and friends say they worry 'bout me.
But what they say has no validity.
They tell me that I deserve so much more.
Someone who would never call me a whore.

They say he's controlling, always telling me what to do.
But they don't understand all we've been through.
He says they're just trying to cause trouble for us.
They don't have what we have, they're just envious.

The fights are more frequent, but he has been stressed.
Even had a big one about how I dressed!
He locked me in the closet for the rest of the night.
When he let me out, the place was a fright.

My house is in shambles, my body is bruised
I can't make sense of this, I am so confused.
I know if I leave, it will cause him much pain.
But I told him I'd do it if he hit me again.

I love him so much, I know things will change.
I just don't understand why he's acting so strange.
The names I can live with, I've been called them before.
It's the physical part that I just abhor.

I have decided to stay and weather it out
On eggshells I walk so he will not shout.
I have dinner ready when he gets home from work.
Everything perfect so he won't be a jerk.

Once again, he beat me all black and blue
I had no choice, I knew what to do.
I picked up the phone and dialed the number
They came and got me while he was off in a slumber.

Five times have I left, five times I've come back.
Can't seem to muster the self-esteem that I lack.
If I love him enough, we'll get through this mess
How long it'll take is anyone's guess.

Here we go again, he just won't calm down.
This one's loud enough to wake up the town.
Ranting and raving and carrying on.
This time I swear I will stay gone!

What are you doing? Put the knife away!
Scrambling for the right words to say…
Please! I don't want to fight anymore!
Tears mix with blood pooled on the floor.

Crime scene tape decorates the front walk.
Why can't anyone hear my voice when I talk?
I can see the police, the neighbors, and me.
Wait! Me? That's me? This just can not be!

I see him too, in back of the cop car.
I guess this time he took it a little too far.
The ambulance drives off, the coroner too.
And I whisper to him, I still love you…

This poem is dedicated to all the women who have given up themselves for a man.
May they find their way back to themselves before they become another statistic.

Peace.
Warriormaiden

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