Most writers find themselves in this position. Family members are usually supportive and enthusiastic, but when we go to them for TLC on those days when we're frustrated, the advice we get just doesn't cut it.

Some writers are fortunate enough to be the exception. But by and large, make it easy on everyone, including yourself, and find a group of writers. Only other writers can be supportive during those times when everything we write seems like dog food and publication of the first book (or fifteenth) seems only a dream. Only other writers truly understand what we go through when trying to put a character's story down on paper. So don't be upset with family members if they can't relate.

Writing a book takes countless hours of time away from the family. Keep a good balance between time spent on the manuscript and time spent with the spouse and kids. It's easy to get so wrapped up in a project that the family gets short shrift. Losing a marriage and not giving the children--whatever their ages--sufficient quality time is too high a price to pay for a book contract.

On the other hand, makes sure you give yourself the time needed to write the book. If Friday night after the kids go to bed at 9:00 is all the time you have, then make it as important an appointment as you would an IRS audit. No excuses. Set that time aside, explain to the family how important this is to you, then make it stick. Afterward, give them lots of positive strokes for letting you have the time. Take the family someplace fun as a thank you gift. Yeah, it's bribery, but all is fair in love and publishing. Besides, it works, and it's healthy for the relationships. Talk about win win!

Let's say the family is so supportive of your writing and the time you need that they even bring you tea and cookies. There are some pitfalls here, too. NEVER ask a family member-- PARTICULARLY a spouse--to critique a manuscript. If you have an exceptional relationship, then maybe you can get away with it. But unless the spouse is a writer too, the chances are good that you'll find yourself with hurt feelings. The spouse will resent having been put on the spot. Before long, both of you will be bickering over trivia such as not closing the lid on the hamper, or squeezing the toothpaste wrong, etc. Don't put that kind of pressure on a marriage. If you think your marriage can handle it, then try it once or twice. But if it doesn't work, DON'T GO THERE AGAIN!!!

A Writer In A Family Of Nonwriters