I want to feel

the fluttering of my heart

and it’s flutter as it comes

to a tremulous stop.

I want to see

the heavy black velvet,

cloaking and smothering,

while I choke on my last gulp of air.

I want to feel

the paralysis of my muscles

and the last tingle of pain

as my nerves slowly

paralyze my functions.

I want to smell

the great heaps of earth

and her cold, clammy sweat,

as I am entered therein.

I want to hear

the resounding echoes of nothingness

when I have nothing to hear

but silence.

I want to feel

the heat slipping from my body

as my life slowly slips away.

I want to experience death.

But most of all,

I want to come back to haunt you.