Philosophers/Knowledgeable
intellects :
PLATO:
For the greater good.
ARISTOTLE:
It is the nature of chickens to cross roads.
KARL
MARX: It was a historical inevitability.
HIPPOCRATES:
Because of an excess of phlegm in its pancreas.
LOUIS
FARRAKHAN: The road, you see, represents the black man. The
chicken
'crossed' the black man in order to trample him and keep
him
down.
MARTIN
LUTHER KING, JR.: I envision a world where all chickens
will
be free to cross roads without having their motives called into
question.
MACHIAVELLI:
The point is that the chicken crossed the road. Who
cares
why? The end of crossing the road justifies whatever motive there
was.
MOSES:
And God came down from the Heavens, and He said unto the
chicken,
"Thou shalt cross the road." And the chicken crossed the road,
and
there was much rejoicing.
FREUD:
The fact that you are at all concerned that the chicken
crossed
the road reveals your underlying sexual insecurity.
DARWIN:
Chickens, over great periods of time, have been naturally
selected
in such a way that they are now genetically disposed to
cross
roads.
EINSTEIN:
Whether the chicken crossed the road or the road moved
beneath
the chicken depends upon your frame of reference.
BUDDHA:
Asking this question denies your own chicken nature.
RALPH
WALDO EMERSON: The chicken did not cross the road .. it
transcended
it.
ERNEST
HEMINGWAY: To die. In the rain.
HK DOCTORS : To avoid chicken flu, duuhhh!
SIR ISAAC NEWTON : All that goes across must come back.
GICHIN FUNAKOSHI, Father of int'l Karate : To seek perfection of character.
GANDHI : Ahimsa! Drivers please do not dash into the poor(chicken)soul.
Literature
:
ANTONIO,
Shakespeare's "Merchant of Venice" : In sooth, I know not why the chicken
crossed the road.
ANTONIO, Shakespeare's "The Tempest" : A pox o' that! (chicken pox maybe??)
ANTONIO(again)/SEBASTIAN, Shakespeare's "The Tempest" : You bawling, blasphemous, incharitable chicken! How dare thou dost that??
SHYLOCK, Shakespeare's "Merchant of Venice" : Thou tortur'st me by asking that.
MRS. BENNET(Jane Austen's "Pride and Prejudice") : You hurt my nerves by asking this question!
MR. COLLINS(Jane Austen's "Pride and Prejudice") : It is only right for it to do so as the honourable Lady Catherine de Bourgh, my patroness, takes a fancy in chickens crossing the road. I'm certain that Lady Catherine will be particularly glad that such an event took place.
JANE AUSTEN : It is a truth universally acknowledged that that a single chicken in possession of nothing, must be wanting to cross the road.
MR. DARCY(Jane Austen's "Pride and Prejudice") : My good opinion (of chickens), once lost, is lost forever.
ACHILLES(Hero of Trojan war) : We wanted a Trojan horse not a Trojan chicken!!
Politicians/Business
- related :
TIMOTHY
LEARY: Because that's the only trip the establishment
would
let it take.
SADDAM
HUSSEIN: This was an unprovoked act of rebellion and we
were
quite justified in dropping 50 tons of nerve gas on it.
RONALD
REAGAN: I forget.
ANDERSEN
CONSULTING: Deregulation of the chicken's side of the
road
was threatening its dominant market position. The chicken was
faced
with significant challenges to create and develop the
competencies
required for the newly competitive market. Andersen
Consulting,
in a partnering relationship with the client, helped the
chicken
by rethinking its physical distribution strategy and
implementation
processes. Using the Poultry Integration Model (PIM),
Andersen
helped the chicken use its skills, methodologies, knowledge,
capital
and experiences to align the chicken's people, processes and
technology
in support of its overall strategy within a Program
Management
framework. Andersen Consulting convened a diverse
cross-spectrum
of road analysts and best chickens along with Anderson
consultants
with deep skills in the transportation industry to engage
in a
two-day itinerary of meetings in order to leverage their personal
knowledge
capital, both tacit and explicit, and
to enable
them to synergize with each other in order to achieve
the
implicit goals of delivering and successfully architecting and
implementing
an enterprise-wide value framework across the
continuum
of poultry cross-median processes. The meeting was held in a
park-like
setting, enabling and creating an impactful environment which
was
strategically based, industry-focused, and built upon a consistent,
clear,
and unified market message and aligned with the chicken's
mission,
vision, and core values. This was conducive towards the
creation
of a total business integration solution. Andersen Consulting
helped
the chicken change to become more successful.
RICHARD
M. NIXON: The chicken did not cross the road. I repeat,
the
chicken did NOT cross the road.
INDONESIAN NATIONALIST : Agar ayam dapat menyanyi "Kita harus nyebrang, kita harus nyebrang!"
MICHAEL CAMDESSUS(IMF guy) : Perhaps, the CBS(Chicken Board System) did not work out on the other end of the road and chickens kept on shooting up. So it started to lookout for a more prospective market at the other end.
BILL
CLINTON: I'm telling u guyz, the chicken didn't cross, the road, u
gotta
believe me...
KWAI CHANG CAINE: I shall ask that when our paths cross again.
THE MASK : Sommebodddy stop it!!
KALIMANTAN REPORTER : Kebakaran hutan-kabur dong! Ngapain lagi!?!
Celebrities
:
CAPTAIN
JAMES T. KIRK: To boldly go where no chicken has gone
before.
FOX
MULDER: You saw it cross the road with your own eyes. How many
more
chickens have to cross the road before you believe it?
JERRY
SEINFELD: Why does anyone cross a road? I mean, why doesn't
anyone
ever think to ask, What the heck was this chicken doing
walking
around all over the place, anyway?"
BILL
GATES: I have just released the new Chicken Office 2000,
which
will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important
documents,
and balance your chequebook.
OLIVER
STONE: The question is not, "Why did the chicken cross the road?"
Rather,
it is, "Who was crossing the road at the same time, whom we
overlooked
in our haste to observe the chicken crossing?"
MICHAEL
SCHUMACHER; it was an instinctive maneuver, the chicken
obviously
didn't see the road until he had already started to
cross.
COLONEL
SANDERS: I missed one?
AQUA(band)
:coz the chicken wanted to "Be happy..come on lets go get it on"
ACE OF
BASE(band) : It saw 'the sign'
MICHAEL
JACKSON : I told the chicken to 'beat it'!
THE INCREDIBLE HULK : Don't ask me that question...you wouldn't like me when I answer it.
ERICSSON promo : James Bond likes a chicken crossing the road. Shouldn't you?
NOKIA promo :Nokia-Connecting roads. We call it the technology that chickens understand.
LARRY KING CNN(promo) : People say they never know what I'm going to ask next.To tell u the truth, neither do I...so WHY DID the chicken cross the road?
HANSON(band) : "Mmmbop...duubop...it's a secret no one knows, yeah yeah,It's a secret no one kno-owws...mmmbop!"
DR.JEKYLL/MR.HYDE :(say this in British accent) It went in search of another personality-it's true personality-the real chicken in it if you will.
JOHN
LENNON : "Imagine" all the chickens
doing something like that,
y' hooo-o-o...Imagine all chickens could cross at once...
CHARLIE
CHAPLLIN : -------gestures, signs---------(he wuz' in dumb movies
remember?)
SYLVESTER
STALLONE : "the chicken started 'first blood',not me;the chicken crossed
the road not me"(lines from Rambo 1)
MICHAEL
J. FOX : Maybe the future was back there.
MIKE TYSON : Perhaps, it wanted to be the baddest chicken on the planet.
BEAVIS
AND BUTTHEAD(MTV) : "Hehe, duhhh, beavisssss, do you like care,
Uhuhhhhuhhh,
no, Butthead,"
STONE COLD STEVE AUSTIN(WWF) : I dont give a chick's @$$ about it, and if it croses the street to the ring, its messing with stone cold and thats something chickens don't do....
MARVELLOUS MARC MERO(WWF) : all you people care about is the chicken, can a chicken so a merosault, has the chicken evrer been int.cont.champ.
SCOTT HALL(WCW) : Yeah,yeah...but the real question is whether 'the chicken is either with us or against us!"
DEGENERATION X(WWF) : DX answers to absolutely nooboddy!
BRET "HITMAN" HART(WWF) : To screw me... OR that's just a bunch of crap!
JIM ROSS(commentator WWF) : Ladies and gentleman, what audacity!
RIC FLAIR(WCW) : Whoooooow! To be THE chicken you gotta cross the road.
CHRIS JERICHO(WCW) : My chicken? I promise u it'll never, eeever,eeever cross the road again.
SUNNY(WWF) : Hah, must've been that stinkin', lowly farmer Phineas's chicken. Did he ever think that I wuz' gonna fall for that!?!
Personal
: Sorry, no details on this one, coz' if any of these persons
below has the Net, then I'm history! Wait...hope they skip the "About me"
part! I'm innocent - Amrit did it, he's the mastermind behind all these
lines below!!!
MR.
VENKAT :That is a pathetic sight, You lousy piece of uncooked poultry,
mustn't
you as a diligent bright chicken give respanse.
AMINA, hyena: children, the chicken crossing the road, is the same as the road crossing the chicken (duhhhhh...maybe not...), whats the difference, its crossed, Man!!!!!
JIMMY(Amrit
- how could you...sadistic!! JJJ)
: Karena di other side ada chokri ayam HAHHAHAHAHA(LOL, jimmy
style)