First Name : Amber (short for Ambrosia)
Last Name : Doesn't matter, since I will be changing it after I get married!
Age / Height / IQ / Income : adjustable, always less than you
Occupation : I am a lingerie model in my spare time. But my full-time occupation is pleasing my man!
Physical appearance : Extremely skinny but with huge breasts that defy gravity; always look perfect but take no time at all getting ready in the morning. I now have blonde hair because I realized that "brunettes are boring". I have no pussy hair, and am perpetually tan. I am never without a vacuous smile or an adoring gaze.
Interests: Your interests are my interests! If it is ok with you, I probably like giving blow jobs a lot (WOW! Your cock is HUGE!), I very well might like sports, and I'm pretty sure I would like to be involved with a threesome with you and the supermodel of your choice. Whatever other interests you have will fascinate me, because you know so much more than I do.
What I am seeking in a man: I have a special weakness for men who practice karate blocks on me and then tell me they don't hurt -- but really, any form of violence will do. He should change his feelings about me constantly (otherwise I get bored), and feel free to constantly point out all my flaws (of course I would never dream of criticizing HIM in any way!). It would be an added plus if he would frequently put me down in front of his friends, and make nasty comments about my driving/cooking and/or appearance.
What I have to offer in a relationship :
- The understanding that the man is always right (this is sadly lacking in so many females today, don't you find?)
- Sex on demand without cuddling afterwards
- The ability to have wave after wave of orgasm in response to your inept sexual advances (Please, don't bother understanding the female body! Foreplay? A clitoris? What are those?!)
- Gourmet meal catering
- Premier maid service
- Won't pester you for conversation (plus, when I do speak, I do not bother finishing my sentences because I know that you probably aren't...)
So if you like what you've read here, email me at itslike@youwish.net