Communicating with our significant other sometimes can be difficult, specially when we say the wrong words. At times we try to communicate one thing, but the words we use do not express what we are feeling, they simply resemble it.
It is important that we think before we speak, and that can be a challenging task. Believe me, it took years for me to learn that lesson.
At times, well it is better to communicate without words. We should all take the time to learn our mates body movements, their expressions and their breathing pattern.... You might not think that this is part of sensuality, but it is, because observing and learning is linked to how we touch or kiss our love.
Once we have learned the particulars of our significant other, we can put into practice the art of "communicating without words". When we feel that our mate is sad or troubled, a simple look and an extended hand should be enough for them to know that we share their sadness or pain, and for them to reach your hand and come into your warm embrace. We shouldn't question the reasons for this mood, since if they were ready to talk about it they would have done so already.
Let him/her know that you love him /her, by holding him/her in your arms, and gently stroking their back, sending your love and affection through your loving fingers. This would be a good time for a massage, this time one that will release tension and stress. It is important to learn the release pressure points of the body, since this way you will be able help them ease up.
Some of the pressure points are: In the base of the skull, behind the ears, on the temples, right underneath the inner corner of the eyes, below the collar bones. Also massage the scalp in small firm circular motions, the shoulders, the eyebrows in a pinching motion, the forehead by interlocking your fingers in the middle and slowly sliding them towards the temples.
Once you feel that your partner is a little less tense, perhaps you can simply stroke them, or just hold them, rock them in your arms. This will let them know that whatever the problem you love them and you are there for them.
Other times to communicate without words, maybe at the dinner table on a night the family is there and that night both of you are happy and ready to love each other passionately. You know that is a subject for closed doors, but you can let each other know that you are feeling the flame of passion steering within you. A brush of the hands, strocking his calf with your bear foot, the way we consume some type of food, or perhaps the way we drink through a straw. All this must be done when both of you are looking towards eachother, so the eyes and the mouth become part of the message. Such small movements, should not be a problem to do in front of the family, and believe me, it sure makes you feel somewhat naughty and very very young.
It is of upmost importance to continue fueling the flame that once made you become a couple. Being sensual, passionate and open with our other half, should never be compromised. We must never stop learning about our loved one until you have mastered them. So that you know eachother to the extent of being able to communicate without words.
ADDITION DONE IN JANUARY 2001.
I think the art of communicating without words is based on time and the willingness to learn your partner. I think this art can be shared by people who have chosen their mates right, rather than settling for someone less than what we envisioned ourselves to be with.
I believe this art start within. Yes, one has to communicate to oneself. We must be honest to ourselves first before we can be honest to anyone else and in the same way, we must communicate to ourselves the true reality of our desires hidden in our hearts to the reality your brain rationalizes to be correct.
Most of us have been raised, taught and obligated to be a certain way. For the most part that is alright, however, there are many facets of life that have changed with the times and many of the old rules don't apply any longer. We all must move with the times and the reality of that period.
Once you have mastered the art of communicating to yourself, then you will be able to communicate without words with that special person in your life provided they are too in the same level of self awareness you have.
When it is all said and done we all want that special someone that can understand us and communicate to us without saying a word. Why not be you the first one in your relationship to master this art perhaps teach and learn with your partner at the same time. Re-discover yourself, your relationship and your life and be happy. Communicate without words... actions are always nice.
Links to other sites on the Web
Translating Office.
Communication site.
School of Interpretation.
Next chapter will be: "How to be a sensual woman" You have the power to be sensual, use it.
© 1997 penelopepan@netscape.com
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