Cottleston, Cottleston, Cottleston pie,
A fly can't bird, but a bird can fly...
You've heard the saying, "Don't force a square peg into a round hole." Yet people do this anyway, constantly. They try to make other people into their concept of what that individual ought to be from hair color to college program to sexual preference, doing it all in the name of "love" or "concern." What love forces the spirit of another? What concern does not take into consideration the reality of the opponent? It is, after all, extremely difficult to debate a person whose mind you do not understand. If they hope to get anywhere with their opponent at all, they must accept the reality of who the others are and what their ideas or plans are. Taking "concern" alone for the moment, it would be much more effective for potential do-gooders to truly understand the lives and hearts of those they wish to change. This would be the only way to touch these recalcitrant "freaks." If you don't like my hair color, find out why it's the color it is and *then* try to explain to me logically and with heart why I should change it. If you don't understand me or my life, can't comprehend the reasons why I do things or the governing aesthetic of my life, do not try to dictate terms to me. Your words will be rejected out of hand, just as you rejected my right to make my own decisions and possess my own reality.
Now that we realize how foolish it is to deny the truth behind someone's differences, why then do people still reject the reality of another's personality and replace this reality with one more appealing? I suspect it has a great deal to do with knowing they cannot change the person to whom they object. If you know you can't change something, you have two choices: reject the reality and ignore it, or try to accept it and reconcile yourself to it. If you are the kind of person who cannot accept the things that you have rejected for yourself, you are less likely to reconcile yourself to this abhorrent turn of events and more likely to simply disregard the reality and assume it is temporary.
If you are someone who simply cannot accept the ineffible reasons why another does or thinks things, don't try to force a fly to become a bird. Don't ask a bird not to fly. This is not to say that you can't (or shouldn't) protest the actions of another, particularly if they are destructive or hurtful in some way. For example, there is good reason to protest the actions of major corporations who continue to subject animals to cruel and useless experimentation that is neither truly necessary nor productive, especially when the same tests with the same chemicals were completed years ago. However, you must accept reality if you hope to influence it. Find out *why* the companies persist in their cruelties and address *that*. You must understand them to convince them, but make sure, above all else, that you have the right and reason to try and convince them at all. And if you fail, try to find it in your heart to forgive, especially the things that don't actually hurt anyone, like your son's nose ring. Add love to the world, not pain.
Cottleston, Cottleston, Cottleston pie,
A fly can't bird, but a bird can fly...