Happy Birthday, Sweetheart

The fourth of the eighth - my wife's birthday. It was all meant to be so perfect. Being her special day, it was almost mandatory for love to be made at the end of it all. I think it was the lead up that turned her on. All day she was glowing, happy to be turning another year older, excited with all the attention she received, and high on being the host. After all the guests left, she went into the bathroom... to prepare herself. I lay in that bed, trying to arouse myself somehow. The truth be told - I just wasn't in the mood. I couldn't understand why. Only two nights ago, I was like a malling dog all over her. But tonight... her special night... I just didn't feel like it.

She walked into the room in her robe. Then she said seductively, "I have a surprise for you." Then she opened her robe, and my God - she'd shaved off all her pubic hair! I was astonished - it was something that turned me on like you wouldn't believe. But even despite this, I still was not aroused. And even when she lay her perfect body on top of mine, and as we caressed and fondled each other - it all seemed as though I was going through the motions. I was simply not aroused. But never the less, we made love, and we both reached orgasm simultaneously. It would have been one of the most perfect, most erotic nights of my entire life. Everything went like a teen sex fantasy. But somehow - I didn't really enjoy it.

And then, several weeks later, she came to me. She said, "Darling, remember the night of my birthday?" "Sure," I replied. "Well," she replied, her eyes beaming, "I bet you didn't realise that you were giving me yet another most wonderful birthday present - the best present you have ever given me in your entire life!!" "What are you talking about?" I queeried. "A baby! I'm pregnant! You gave me a baby!" My first reaction was of shock. A million things rushed through my brain. I was going to be a father. I could not believe that because of that night, a new life was now coming into this world. If I had known, I would have enjoyed it so much more. It marvels me how that night must have been so perfect for my wife - what better way to conveive your child. But for me, it was totally meaningless. I felt so disappointed that the sex that had brought my child into this world had been so dull.

On holiday in France when I was very young, I was walking down a side walk with my family. As we passed a hotel, my mother pointed out that my father and her had stayed there once on a previous trip many years earlier. My father then pulled me aside, and whispered, "Your sister was conceived in that hotel." It always made me wonder - if my father could remember the actual sex act that conceived my sister, surely he could remember whether it was great sex or not. I had never had the courage to ask before, but now it mattered to me. After it had been announced that my wife was pregnant, I approached my father, and I began the uncomfortable inquiry. "Dad, remember when you told me that my sister was conveived in that hotel in France?" "Yes," he said. "Well, I was wondering... do you remember if you enjoyed the sex?" There was a short uncomfortable silence, and then he replied, "Son... we raised the roof!" I knew that would be hard for me to hear, not the kind of thing you want to hear about your parents, but now I had to confess my feelings. "Dad - I can remember the actual night that our child was conceived. It was the night of her birthday. But the thing is... the sex was lousy for me. For her - it was great - but for me, it stank!" "You think it should have been better considering you were creating a new life?" "Well... I guess." My father looked to the ground, he shook his head and he held his brow. Then he looked up, and the words he spoke I will never forget. He said, "Son, that could have been a most wonderful story. To have selflessly given to your wife one of the most intimate and erotic gifts a man can give. As well as that, you gave her a child! And all on her birthday! But now you selfishly regret that you didn't enjoy yourself - that you didn't have all your fantasies and expectations fulfilled. So it wasn't a wild ride for you - stop thinking about yourself for a change. Don't you think there have been times when your wife has laid down and spread her legs for you when she didn't feel like it? What you did that night was give of yourself - don't expect anything in return, because that cheapens the whole act. If I were you, my only regret would be that you were even bothered by the lack of excitement that night." Usually I become defensive when people speak to me so harshly, but his words sank deep within me. I went away and found a quiet spot, and I wept privately to myself. It was now clear to me that every aspect of love was about giving, even including sex. And my tears turned to tears of joy as I realised that I had learned this lesson just in time, for when my son arrived nine months later, I vowed that I would always give in love to him, and never expect anything in return, for that it was true love is.