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When one copulates with another (for the purposes of this essay, the other party shall be assumed to be human), there are unfortunately two differing experiences that must be reconsiled.
As pleasant as escapist fantasies of sex with a perfect stranger (characteristically and ironically set in a strange locale, such as a tropical resort), in practice, these episodes are invariably lessons about one's own self, and hence, less fantastical that one had originally hoped.
When one is engaged in such conjugal matters, both parties proffer their own idiosyncratic preferences, psychological quirks, repulsions, and the like. Thus, each party will tend to behave in a manner very similar to that in which they normally would during sexual activity, expanding their normal range of behaviour only to accomodate the unfamiliar behaviour of the new partner.
With the accquisition of sexual experience from a variety of partners, one will begin to recognize a sexual persona, unique to him. Seeking to obliterate one's normal experience through that of another new sexual partner will be an unfruitful activity.
When the seeker is a practitioner or monogamy, however, he will be more sensitive to the new experiences that sex with a new partner will provide. He may be encouraged to perform entirely unfamiliar actions, and will come to recognize a new aspect of his sexual self. The original personality, though, remains generally intact, if slightly augumented. It is from this original basis that he is acting (and of course, interpreting his new experiences). While an adulterous encounter may be broadening and somewhat revealing, the individual will still remain as he is, quite inescapably.
The encounter may be particularly iconoclastic for the individual if he was previously suffering from considerable repression of his personality. This repression may be aided by a monogamous relationship, where the individual's response to his mate is dictated considerably by her preferences and idiosyncrasies. In this manner, some of the individual's sexual preferences may not be allowed expression, and thus, an adulterous experience with a partner that allows these preferences to be fully expressed may seem somewhat "escapist" to him.
The magnitude of such an activity would be considerably decreased for a more self-realiazed individual, however.
So in this manner of preserving one's innocence, and his capacity to be moved by new experiences, monogamy can indeed be viewed as preferrable.
© 1998 cosmobimbo@hotmail.com
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