gOdai is at her wit’s end; she is completely broken-hearted and declares with extreme passion and despair: “I am suffering deeply inside and am also blabbering sadly something with utmost pain. That evil kaNNan does not even ask if I am alive or dead. That person, whom everybody praises as gOvardhanan and whose nature is to do special harm to girls, has usurped all that belonged to me. If I ever see Him anywhere, I will get rid of all my bodily signs of femininity by even plucking my breasts that are of no use (like the breasts of the goats under their neck) and throw them at Him and thus get rid of my sorrow”.

uLLE urugi naivEnai: I am deeply hurting internally, and my sorrow is spilling over. My sorrow is overflowing like the flooded rivers and rivulets, and can be seen in my uncoordinated actions and words. There are no words that can express my condition. It cannot even be said that He does not know that I am suffering immensely inside, because He is sarva antaryAmi who knows everything. SrI puttUr kRshNasvAmi aiye’ngAr quotes tirumAlai 34, which declares: “uLLuvAr uLLiRRellAm uDan irundu aRidiyenRE”.

naivEnai: Is it possible to gauge how much I am suffering? When the rivers and lakes get filled with water, only the extra water overflows out of them. Just like that, because of my suffering, the pain that my heart is undergoing is being able to be brought out a little by my words and actions. You can only get a glimpse of the pain that I undergo. There is no way to express all the pain I experience.

uLaLO ilaLO ennAda: He does not even enquire “Is gOdai alive or not?”. It is obvious that He has lost His love for me. Should He also lose the natural quality of basic kindness towards me as a woman?

koLLai koLLi: The great robber. Not only does He not show even the basic kindness; but He has also usurped everything that belongs to me – sarvasva apahAram. Is this fair?

kuRumbanai : The mischief-monger. nandagOpan has got himself a son to roam around in tiru AyppADi without control and commit all kinds of mischief and playing pranks at His will!

gO-vardhananai: He makes the cows (gO) grow (vardhana) a hundred-thousand fold, but He will make sure that the girls of AyarpADi suffer and perish without trace.

kaNDakkAl: By chance if I find Him somewhere. He is always going after the cows everywhere; it is difficult to catch Him. If I happen to find Him with great effort, this is what I will do.

koLLum payan onRillAda : Because of His ignoring me and going after the cows always, these mulaigaL which are really meant for Him have lost all their usefulness.

ko’ngai tannaik kizhangODum: the terms “kongaikku kizhangu” here refers to her own AtmA. In svApadEsam, kongai refers to bhakti that is intensely pleasing to paramAtmAn; the residence for that bhakti is AtmA. Learned people say thus “This body which has several parts, has an AtmA; that is permanent and is imperishable”.

“acchedyo’yam adAhyo’yam aklEdyo’Soshya eva ca | nitysas sarva gata: sthANuracalo’yam sanAtana: ||” (gItA 2.24)

(This AtmA) cannot be cleft; It cannot be burnt; It cannot be wetted and It cannot be dried. It is eternal, all-pervading, stable, immovable, and ancient.

Since gOdai has reached the pinnacle of her suffering, she is now ready to pluck her soul which is intangible by itself, by plucking her breasts along with her AtmA and throw them at Him in despair.

avan mArvil eRindu : She does not want throw them anywhere, but on His chest, just so He would also experience all the pain that she has experienced. The anubhavam here is that He will be endowed with the breasts of ANDAL on His chest, and He will experience their suffering.

en azhalait tIrvEnE: I will get relief from my suffering. The happiness would have been great if He had come and embraced me. By throwing my breasts on His chest, it will only take care of the tApam or suffering that I undergo (I will not get the pErAnandam of His embrace).

kuRumban: He is not a mischief-maker for everyone; it is the girls that His mischief is all directed at – peNgaL tiRattilE pollA’ngu Seyyumavan.

gOvardhanan: it can on the one hand denote kaNNan who looked after the cows; it could also mean all the good acts He performed as the antaryAmi of the gOvardhana malai. Thinking that He would do a lot of good for me, I pined and pined for Him. If He doesn’t even care about me, what is the use of this body?

kizha’ngODum – with its roots. If the roots are left behind by chance, they may grow again and torture her. If she plucks them out with their roots, there is no chance of their growing and torturing her again. Also, perchance if they are thrown with roots at Him, they may flourish with Him at least.

avan mArvil eRindu :Because He is not having any love for me, He is not looking at my kongaigaL; but these are refusing to be controlled by me and are trying to reach Him; just as He took away all my possessions, it would have been better if He had taken these also. Since He did not, I will pluck them with the roots and throw these that really belong to Him at His chest; He can do whatever He wants to do with them.

These are not meant for ordinary mortals, and so I can’t afford to throw them anywhere where others may find them. They belong only to Him, and so I will throw them at Him.

What is the greatness in performing kaimkaryam in SrI vaikuNTham after reaching there through the arcirAdi mArgam, if I cannot do intimate kaimkaryam to Him in this birth right here and now by embracing Him with all the desire that I have for Him? His sacred vaksha sthalam is meant only for being embraced by His close and intimate devotees. If He accepts me and takes me into His arms and embraces me, well and good. Otherwise, if He looks at me straight at my face and speaks truthfully: “I don’t want to have anything to do with you”, that is fine with me as well. (All He has been doing is lying to me: He always said “I will not leave you, if I ever leave you, I shall die”; it will be good if He can at least speak the truth once).

ANDAL’s folks ask her why she is resorting to serious thoughts like plucking her breasts and so on, instead of pursuing other spiritual observances to realize the Supreme Soul that is the antaryAmi of her soul that supports those breasts. To that gOdai responds that her sole desire is to serve Him here and now with the current physical body, and not wait to go to SrI vaikunTham, take a different body (of Suddha sattva material) , and then do kaimkaryam there.

kommai mulaigaL iDar tIra : These breasts of mine, which are like fully grown kids who pester their mother saying “give me food, give me food”, keep pressing me and asking: “Show me govindan’s vaksha sthalam which is the only thing for which we exist”. Unless I show them His tirumArbu, the suffering they undergo will not subside.

gOvindaRkOr: These are not for SrI vainkuNTha nAthan; they are for gOvindan, who roams after the cows.

Or kuRREval: Intimate kaimkaryam. Here it refers to the kaimkaryam that men folks cannot do; this kaimkaryam through the tight embrace that ANDAL wants to perform, can only be done by women folks. How can one say embracing Him with this intimacy is a kaimkaryam? kuRREval (literally menial service), is interpreted by SrI PVP as “antara’ngamAna kaimkaryam” - intimate kaimkaryam - kaimkaryam that can be performed with whatever means one has at one’s disposal.

immaip piRavi SeyyAdE inip pOic ceyyum tavam tAn en?: If I cannot get to embrace kaNNan in this birth with this body of mine now, and if instead I have to wait to go to paramapadam, get another body and then hope to embrace paramapada nAthan, it is like the effort of the rishis that do tapas in the midst of pa’ncAgni (fire on all four sides and the scorching sun overhead) to accomplish something. sItAdEvi wanted to have the same kind of experience of embracing rAma with the current body:

(“hanuman, help me in such a way that I can embrace with love that narasrEshTan rAmapirAn with all parts of my body that are suffering because of separation from Him”).

Semmai uDaiya tiru mArvil: His vaksha sthalam that will not refuse anyone who wants to embrace Him.

Semmai uDaiya tiru mArvil SErttAnElum (nanRu): “It would be nice if He will accept my embrace with His vaksha sthalam which is meant for accepting the loving embrace of those that are dear to Him. However …. “ - the word “Elum: denotes that she has some doubts that this will materialize.

oru nAnRu meymmai Solli : “If only He utters truth at least once – one day”. He is “ElAppoigaL uraippAn” (NT 14-3). Even though He is used to lie all the time, He could say the truth at least one time, right? Let Him speak the truth at least one day. The usual lie that He says is: “I will not leave you; if I have to leave, I shall not live”. Unlike this lie, He can say the truth.

Oru nAnRu meimmai Solli, mugam nOkki, viDai tAN tarumEl, miga nanRE : If only He could look at me straight in my face once and say “I do not love you; I forsake you; leave me”, that will be even better.

SErndAnEl nanRu, viDai tAN tarumEl miga nanRE: “If He embraces me with love, that will be good; instead, if He says “I don’t love you; go away” looking straight at my face, that is even better”. How does this work? Even if He embraces me now as I desire, I will have to be separated from Him after that embrace, and my cycle of sorrow will continue. Instead, if He drives me away saying that He does not love me, I can leave this life and end my sorrow. This second situation is just like what sItApirATTi went through the second time of separation when rAma left His pregnant wife in the forest after listening to what the washerman said: sItA’s lament in uttara kANDam 48 and final departure in uttara kANDAm 97 – “tathA mE mAdhavI dEvi vivaram dAtumarhati” – 97.14-16 – “I do not know any one except rAma, so the earth-goddess may grant space to me”.)

viDai tarumEl: If He permits my being separated from Him. (Comments from SrI T. S. Rajagopalan)

gOdai’s folks tell her that everyone in the world should be trying to surrender his/her AtmA to Him and not consider the body as important; but, gOdai is trying to give importance to her body, and throw her body at Him and not worry about her soul. Instead, they are advising her to undertake austerities and penance, and attain Him over several births if that is what it takes. gItA says “bahUnAm janmanAmantE jn~navAn mAm prapadyatE” (gItai 7-19 “At the end of many births, the man of knowledge directly reaches me, realizing “vAsudEvA is all” ). In response, gOdai reaffirms to them that her immediate desire is to perform immediate kaimkaryam to Him in this birth with whatever means is available to her.

The purpose of doing penance is to get some phalan or blessing either in this birth or in future births. But in the case of ANDAL, she is not looking for phalan such as svargam in the next birth. She is looking for kaimkaryam to Him right now. Kaimkaryam can be performed in this birth, in the next birth, in SrI vaikunTham, or anywhere for that matter. Why should we leave the opportunity for kaimkaryam that we have right here, and instead go after it in another place? “erAr muyal viTTuk kAkkaip pin pOvadEn?” (SiRiya tirumaDal-4). Because I have not married Him in front of everyone, there are those who talk ill of me and you. But He has already come and married me in my dream. I need to prove this to you. So, He needs to come here for sure at least once.

What is the penance that I have to do for this? At the end of taittriya upanishat, it is declared that prapatti or nyAsam is the best form of penance, and is much superior to all other forms of penance such as satyam, mAnasam or bhakti yOgam, and is a dEva rahasyam. Even in that prappati, it says “siddhir-bhavati vA nEti samSayo’cyuta sEvinAm; na samSayo’tra tad-bhakta paricaryAratAtmanAm” – “it is better to surrender to emperumAn through elders rather than by oneself”. I have been wanting to get to Him only through my father – “viTTucittar tangaL dEvarai valla pariSu varuvipparEl adu kANDumE” (NT 10.10). He is the most respected elderly person for me. There is no better prize than this that he can give me. So, there is no point in going after a penance in another world or birth.

viDai tAn tarumEl miga nanRE: He married some girls in mathurA, and He has let them stay with Him.. But, He left the AyarpADi girls, who were totally dependent on Him, in lurch, after being with them for a few days. Later, when they came to meet Him in kurukshEtram, He told them that it is better that He is separated from Him. In the same way, He can tell me the same too. By using the terms “miga nanRE”, gOdai is saying that she is not interested in ciRRInbam.

gOdai, who is of exceptional and flawless character, has beautiful eyebrows that defeat the appearance of a bow, and is the daughter of periyAzhvAr, the leader of SrIvilliputtUr, sang this song with intense and unquenchable bhakti to embrace that emperumAn, who is famous for causing mischief and grief to everyone in AyarpADi but who is also the auspicious light for those in AyarpADi. Those who can chant this tirumozhi with devotion and sincerity will never have to suffer the misery of the ocean of samsAra ever again.

allal viLaitta perumAnai : kaNNan became famous in tiruvAippADi by being known for His mischievous pranks. In contrast, in tiru ayoddhi, rAma was well-known for His kalyANa guNam-s:

“tE tamUcur mahAtmAnam pourajAnapadais saha |
bahavO nRpa! kalyANa guNA: putrasya santi tE ||” (ayodhyA kANDam 2.26)

“The people of the villages and towns (of ayodhyA) informed daSaratha that his son was endowed with lots of kalyANa guNa-s”.

The people of ayodhyA were immersed in nothing except the kalyANa guNa-s of rAma, and the people of AyarpADi were immersed in nothing but kaNNan’s mischief. rAma was well-known of sweet character, and kaNNan was famous for His wandering nature, His stealing butter and girls - “veNNai, peNgaL kaLavu kaNDAn” “pAlum padin kuDam kaNDilEn” (periya tirumozhi 10-7-2).

Ayar pADikku aNi viLakkai : Because of His mischief, He was shining like a mangaLa dIpam for Ayar pADi; whenever He was not playing His pranks, the whole village was dark and dull!

aNi viLakkai: Since His pranks were being enjoyed by the village folks like sugar cane, He became like a decoration for those folks. In comparison, rAma’s guNam-s sounded like vEmbu (sour) - nothing to be thrilled about, and kaNNan’s pranks shone like a lamp for the whole village.

villi puduvai nagar nambi viTTu cittan viyan kOdai …. vETkai uRRu miga virumbum Sollai: gOdai’s determination for her desire resulted in this tirumozhi that is nearing completion; the reason for this great devotion of her to emperumAn is entirely because she is the daughter of periyAzhvAr.

vETkai uRRu miga virumbum Sollai: gOdai’s love multiplied beyond limits and spontaneously overflowed in the form of this tirumozhi, since it could not be contained within her anymore – “bhagavad anubhavam vazhindu puRapaTTa Sol”. This is similar to bhUdattAzhvAr’s experience: “en tan aLavu anRAl yAnuDaiya anbu” (iranDAm tiruvandAdi - 100) – “The love that I have for you is something that cannot be contained in me”.

Sollait tudikka vallArgaL: The jIva-s stuck in samsAra can never expect to attain her level of desire no matter how hard they try. But, for them to get the benefit of this experience, it is enough if they just chant her composition.

tunbak kaDaluL tuvaLArE: people who are suffering in the sorrowful ocean of samsAram, will not suffer any more; they will not be tortured like a young shoot being scorched by fire. gOdai, who is our mother, has suffered for our sake also; so, it is enough if we just chant her pAsuram, and we will get the same bhagavad anubhavam that she so much desired to get for herself.

SrI PBA takes the word as “tulaitta” in “villaittolaitta puruvattAL”. If the word “tulaitta” is taken to be derived from the sanskrit term ‘tulA’ (balance, equal to), it would mean that she has eyebrows comparable to the bow. SrI PBA notes that SrI PVP did not accept this meaning. Instead, he chose to use the meaning “tiraskaritta – defeated, incomparable” for the word “tulaitta”, since ANDAL’s avaya lakshaNa-s were such that there was nothing that could be compared to them. So the bow was only a poor comparison to the beauty of her eyebrows. “tolaitta” is just pATha bhedam – an alternate version.

The reason why “AyarpADikku aNi viLakku” gave me “allal” or sorrow is because He wanted me to get to this situation I am in. Even though I knew that He is enchanted with my eye brows, I realized that I need to depend on viTTu cittar for all my greatness. This tirumozhi that explains the means to reach the palan – namely emperumAn – is the most special tirumozhi I like. People who understand this truth and become experts in chanting this tirumozhi will not be troubled by any sorrow.